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  • Separated and moving on with my life

    +2
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    33 posts, 33 voices, 4599 views, started Jan 21, 2010

    Posted on Thursday, January 21, 2010 by 1mermaid




    • Amethyst
      Offline

      Hello ladies,
      I finally left my husband on Sunday!  I took the last disrespect from him I could take in public again...and just left.  It does hurt, but I’ve been mentally preparing for this for months now.  Counseling didn’t work, I just found that I couldn’t forgive him for his internet infidelity, emotional affair he was having and his lack of trustworthyness. I also found some viagra in his office drawer... when a man can’t tell you the truth... you don’t know what the heck to believe... Then a couple of weeks ago when he called me dense... that really crushed me.  I happen to be self-employed and struggling right now in the current economy that we are in.. but I will make it!  

      I didn’t plan on being here at this age... I am 47!  I don’t even want to think about another man...and I just feel they are all the same.. This one was exceptional at first, but there were some red flags I ignored...Just need a little support...and when I get on my feet... I think I will go on a cruise...that is something he never wanted to do with me.  I am starting to feel free.. just hurting a little...  

      Mermaid!

      +2
      Love it




        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cynthia Schmidt wrote Jan 21, 2010
        • Thank you for sharing and also reaching out for support. You‘re emotions are still raw right now but time and movement will help you heal. Doing something good for your future each day will re build the self esteem that your marriage tore down. You‘re in good company. Many have been in your shoes and have gone on to not only live but thrive.

          Best to you!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Macy wrote Jan 21, 2010
        • Sounds to me like you made a decision to be happy and kudos to you! Everyone deseves happiness and peace in their lives, it is afterall what makes us complete. Trust is huge and is the rock foundation for any relationship, when that is gone it seems everything else crumbles around you. Remember this is a time for you, be selfish and do what feels right, we only have one life to live.

          Thinking of you.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Vikki Hall wrote Jan 21, 2010
        • Good for you! Respect is so important in any relationship and without it and trust nothing else matters. I don’t know you but AI’m sure you do deserve better.
          It’s going to be a bit of a roller coaster ride but we are here for you...just let us know!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          1mermaid wrote Jan 21, 2010
        • Thank you all for your support... I love this group... real people with real circumstances.... 6 years ago I had my first abnormal pap.. and then after agressive treatments didn’t work to fight the abnormal cells I had to have a hysterectomy.. and I have been free of those bad pre-cancer cells for 6 years.. I am trying to keep my stress manageable so I don’t have any recurrences...  

          I also just read about a lady in France that lived to be 121.  She said she did by remaining calm... wow...we could have all learned from this woman..

          Cheers to all you wonderful ladies..



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Ladybug10 wrote Jan 22, 2010
        • stay strong,and know that every day you get stronger,keeping you in my prayers



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Fabulous42 wrote Jan 22, 2010
        • It’s okay how you feel i did the same after 15 yrs. of mental & emotional,physical abuse
          You can make it and be happy a man does not complete a woman she completes herself
          with love and respect for herself !! Keep your head up brighter days ahead !! :)



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Betspussl wrote Jan 23, 2010
        • I AM GOING THROUGH THE SAME. MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN PREPARING TO SEPERATE FOR SOME TIME. FINALLY HE IS MOVING OUT AND HAS GOTTEN A NEW PLACE TO LIVE. IT DOES HURT. WE HAVE HAVE TRIED MARRIAGE COUNSELING 3 TIMES.THE LIES ARE THE HARDEST PART FOR ME.HE CAN‘T TELL THE TRUTH WHERE A LIE WILL FIT IN.I AM HERE FOR SUPPORT.I GUESS AT SOME POINT YOU LEARN TO LET GO OF WHAT DOESNT WORK.YOU HAVE TO TRUST YOURSELF AND VALUE YOUR HAPPINESS. GOODLUCK. IM SURE THINGS WILL GET BETTER.THE CRUISE SOUNDS LIKE WHAT YOU NEED.I HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT THERE ARE GOOD MEN OUT THERE. I WANT TO BE INLOVE AGAIN BUT THIS TIME I WONT IGNORE ANY RED FLAGS.



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        • +2 votes vote up vote up

          Marlene McCray wrote Jan 23, 2010
        • Happiness comes from within and remember God never takes anything away without replacing it with something better.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Patty42 wrote Jan 23, 2010
        • this is a wonderful piece  of poetry at its best
          thak u su much



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        • +5 votes vote up vote up

          Coralee Flug wrote Jan 24, 2010
        • Stay strong and surround yourself with positive up lifting people.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Totallytiffany wrote Jan 26, 2010
        • Hello, you don’t need anyone telling you to stay strong or be brave—-you‘re already there. Glad to see that you got out of what was a bad situation. I’ve been there and it will be fine, becoming separated was the first step and now it all gets easier.
          T.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Maryann Rhodey wrote Jan 26, 2010
        • You surely are strong and brave.  Keep coming here for support as there is always someone here who is listening.  You are in my prayers.  Keep calm as you said and breathe.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          UK Girl wrote Feb 2, 2010
        • Sorry your going through this but I know you’ll get through it and come out the other side a better and stronger person



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Riley wrote Feb 18, 2010
        • Been there twice now, myself. My heart goes out to you! But you did a very brave thing in taking control of your future.

          I just wanted to share with you something a boss once told me.  It helps to remember when you‘re having a bad day  . . .

          “Time wounds all heels!”



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jo46 wrote Feb 18, 2010
        • Keep calm and carry on!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Terrybmc wrote Feb 25, 2010
        • Been there. Done that. Survived it!! (And I had a 3 and 5-year-old at the time.) I don’t think smart women make moves like that unless they‘re necessary. So, assuming it was, you did what you had to do. You’ll be surprised how much easier it is to run when someone’s not tying your (metaphorical) shoestrings together! Good luck



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Dawn10 wrote Feb 25, 2010
        • It is very hard, just know that each day you will gain strength and get stronger. When those hard moments come deal with them at that time, don’t push them away, because they will return. Just know you do have support, we are all here for you...stay in touch.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Shelly Solesbee wrote Feb 25, 2010
        • Been almost 6 yrs you will get stronger everyday.  One thing I wish I would have done is kept a journal.  I journal now but it would have been so beneficial now if I had it.  Keep smiling!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Anitra wrote Feb 25, 2010
        • I’m 47 too.  I lived that story 10 years ago. I was terrified to be alone.  I went through 3 counselors until I found the right one.  Sometimes it feels like its an effort to get through every minute.  But it WILL get better and pretty soon, you are so strong, you will wonder what took you so long to move on from that life.
          For me, I jumped right back in the water and joined a dating service.  Not an online one.  It took 6 years but I found the love of my life.  They are NOT all the same.  I am so happy.  You will be too!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Hbrose wrote Feb 25, 2010
        • hello mermaid, its been a month since this posting, i hope you‘re doing ok and have found a way to move on and not look back.  its must be difficult, but hang in there best you can. all the best to you, stay strong!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Timbuktu wrote Feb 26, 2010
        • How is it going for you? My husband and I parted 17 years ago and I remember how scary it was setting up a new home and new life. However the 17 years on my own have been happier than the 17 years we were together. Yes it’s lonely sometimes but it’s wonderful to discover who you really are which being in an unsatisfactory relationship denies you.  

          Good luck,
          Timbuktu



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Melody2010 wrote Feb 27, 2010
        • Hello Mermaid, read your post and my heart just goes out to you.  How are you doing?  Know that your soul mate is out there and when you least expect it, you will meet.  I have the utmost respect for you and the strength it took for you to let go.  As each day passes, the pain will lesson and it will get better. I hope you realize what an amazing person you are and that someone in the future will be very blessed to have you in their life.  Take care and God Bless you.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Linda James-Laville wrote Feb 27, 2010
        • If you read my blog you’ll see that I left my relationship after 38 years and I am 58 years old. Many people thought I was crazy but the truth is HE‘S CRAZY and I know that now. My mantra became “just keep moving forward” and it’s still my mantra today (2 years later). When you get overwhelmed with emotions, tell yourself to do something for yourself, something that will further your life without him in it. I am also self employed (women’s website) so I know how hard it can be to survive. It’s hard, but eventually you’ll build that life you want and you won’t need him in it.  Good luck.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Laurie Giles wrote Mar 1, 2010
        • You will be fine, no actually you will be great. as a divorce attorney, and as a life transition/redefing coach, and author on the subject of divorce, I would strongly recommned that before you get into the process,that you develop a plan as to what you need and want. Best wishes



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Max0125 wrote Mar 1, 2010
        • Good for you! I am divorced and I can now say, after many years that it has been a positive experience since it made me stronger. Start treating yourself well and have fun on that cruise.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cece90505 wrote Mar 2, 2010
        • Time heals all wounds, and makes you stronger! Sorry you‘re going through this now, but you’ll be great in the end, also a lot happier!
          Take care! Thanks for sharing! Keep strong!



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