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  • seven year itch or hormones?

    3 posts, 3 voices, 996 views, started Oct 1, 2008

    Posted on Wednesday, October 1, 2008 by Ama922

    •  



    • Amethyst
      Offline

      Ok, so it is national bitch day!  I have been married for 7 years and there are times when I absolutely cannot stand my husband.  I am not sure if it is me changing or not being able to have a real relationship or being perimenopausal.  Either way, somedays I just want to scream.  It makes me sad to think that I cannot be or have a real partner.  I read the other blogs about women missing their husbands and I long for that feeling.  There are times when I can’t wait for my husband to go away.

      I do love my husband but there is no spark anymore and after some real financial blows (which I hold him responsible for) and some lies of ommision, I do not trust him.  Is trust more important than love?  

      This sounds more like I am feeling sorry for myself rather than bitching but if anyone goes through this, please let me know.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Molly Rosen wrote Oct 1, 2008
        • I have TOTALLY been there!! and I think the resentment you harbor against him and the lack of trust is the real issue here.  REST ASSURED, it’s not that you cannot be a real partner or lack the capacity to really love.  It’s that the love has been compromised by some serious trust issues.  That chips away at an intimate relationship like a jackhammer, hon!  

          In my case the issues had gone on too long and ran too deep to be fixed, so we ended up going our separate ways and I think that was the best, though difficult, decision I could have made.  Now we both have a chance to start over with new relationships that don’t contain the toxic issues that were dragging ours down.  A new beginning.  I too had questioned myself, wondering if it was me, an inability to really love anyone, but I have found that was not the case.  I am completely capable of having a normal and happy relationship, once I let go of the baggage of the other one.

          If you think yours may be salvageable, I recommend finding a good marriage therapist to work through the issues and see if you can make a fresh start in your marriage and move forward... for me I found that the trust issues could not be put to rest, but maybe you can.  It’s worth a try if you think it will work.

          My main point here is, don’t blame yourself.  It’s not you, it’s you-and-him.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          VICKY CORYEA wrote Oct 1, 2009
        • I am totally all for a wake up call!  Maybe thats what you need here.............maybe shake things up abit. I found if you keep doing the same thing.you get the same results............He probably thinks everythings fine.....right?



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