Posted on Friday, March 18, 2011
I’m having a dilemma.... Every so often, my tween says she is too sick to go to school. It happened this morning, she said she had an awful stomach ache and felt like she was going to throw up. She doesn’t have a fever, but my daughters and I never get fevers (even with strep).
Last night she had a headache and stomach ache. She has a lose tooth and it had been bothering her all day.
Tonight there is a teen dance. She doesn’t want to go because of “all the drama” (her words). Some of her friends have asked her to go and she told them she would tell them today.
Also today, she had 3 tests and forgot to bring home a worksheet yesterday that was due today.
She insists that the dance is not an issue, she just doesn’t want to go.She is ready for her tests, I quizzed her last night.She was upset about the worksheet, but realizes she will have to deal with not having it on Monday anyway - so staying home today won’t help.
So I let her sleep a little later. She got dressed and was ready to go but said she still didn’t feel well. She took in some fresh air and said it didn’t help. We got in the car and 1/2 way there she said she still didn’t feel well so we turned around.
I struggle with knowing when it is real and when she is just trying to avoid school!
Annie ......Honey they never tell you - trust me so maybe this weekend you need to “bump” into a friend who knows your daughter and trust me she will with some gentle questions spill the beans - sounds to me like the dance and maybe there is some girl in the class being queen bee .... but asking directly will get you no where and only make the problem worse - tween girls minds go haywire and then they settle down again
I go through this with one of my girls. Usually I keep her home, but it is so hard knowing what to do in these situations.
If you find the answer, let me know!
That’s a tough one Annie. I only had one son so I’m not familiar with raising girls. I think Vicki offered good advice. Good luck.
I always made my girls go to school. I told them if they were still not well after 1st hour then call and I would pick them up.They never wanted to stay home when they actually were sick. So I would question the times they did want to stay home.
I would say that 99% of the time I made them go they came home and said they had a great day.
UK girl you made me laugh when u said they minds go haywire and settle back down lololol but it is so true. Watch her reaction over the weekend and in an off guard moment question the whole thing, maybe this time it is what it is, she was just sick.
I like what UKGirl said however IMO I’d opt to let her stay home what will it hurt.
Annie I never let my kids out either if they stayed home from school. Even when they got older!
They all do it-Let em stay home if they really ARE sick. If not, suck it up and GO to school.
Annie this week my daughter pulled this same thing. Kat didnt want to go to school but I made her. after two hours she calls me and had me pick her up. When we got in the car I asked her what was wrong she said she didnt feel well after a shamrock shake and me asking what really was wrong she told me that she was being picked on by a boy at school. At this age these girls are so sensitive that they just don’t know how to handle the stress of being a girl. IMO some days we just need a break.
I brought up my kids the old fashion way, we had tons of rules, however, if they wanted to stay home I almost always allowed it.
If they stayed home, there was no dance, get togethers that day, or the next day. They were sick (according to them) and therefore should stay in bad.
I confiscated their phones, computers, and only let them have homework and books. In other words, staying home sick was no fun. Oh...and I forgot, it came with lots of vitamin C’s throughout the day along with hot milt with butter and honey and a bit of baking soda to boost their immune system. (Old Russian old wives tale, I always hated this concoction and so did they)
As they got older I talked to them about ditching, and made it very clear, that if they ever ditch school without me knowing it they will be grounded along with their siblings. Three oldest are all 1 years apart, so they attended the same school, and always knew what the other one was doing. I did tell them that if they ever want to ditch, no problem, as long as their GPA was above 3.5 and other stuff was done.
I don’t know if I just got lucky, or my method worked, but 3 graduated from college, and one last one is in her first year of college.
At the end of the day, we as parents need to do our best, and the rest is just luck.
hope you put some money under her pillow for her tooth
That’s awesome, Yana!
I was talking to Alice about this and she reminded me about one of those days I said she had to go - the night before she had eaten a large packet of peanuts (I didn’t know this) the next day she was saying she felt sick and moaning but I had a big meeting so off she went at 9.30am mid meeting I get a call to come and collect her - she had been sick in class & yes the peanuts returned - I was not a popular mummy ......
When our Steve was young, he would get bad bouts of sinus infections and ear aches off and on, so I knew the difference between illness and not wanting to go, but unfortunately he was picked on in school by “asshole bullies” from time to time and let me tell you I just about kicked the shit out of a few moms, so that ended the bullying.
Pre-Teen daughters and the challenges and learning experiences they will or are going through.