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  • Sober Husband

    9 posts, 8 voices, 2319 views, started May 21, 2009

    Posted on Thursday, May 21, 2009 by Momwtwins2

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    • Amethyst
      Offline

      My husband has been sober for over a year now, but the trust is not fully there. I say that I have forgiven him for the things he did but I still feel angry at times because the immages are still so clear in my mind. I have been turning to my faith and because of this HE has brought me this far. Just when I really felt like leaving my husband, but with two small children and no education or skill to support myself and my children I am here to keep trying. Kristin



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tuliplady wrote May 21, 2009
        • That’s wonderful that he’s been sober that long.  It’s pretty normal for you to still feel angry sometimes, but remember that time is a great healer.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jsrn66 wrote May 21, 2009
        • Hi,
          My husband is an active drinker.......and i’m sure an alcoholic. I’ve tried to be kind and gentle about it since its a disease, but it is ruining my marriage. He cant part with his beer. I cant stand the sight of him or the way he looks when he’s totally out of it. I get sick to my stomach. I dont remember him being like this when we were dating...but then again, I may have noticed he got drunk during parties but thought he was just “partying“.
          We’ve been married 15 yrs and I just want to escape. I’ve been so turned off lately, I dont know what to do. I have a 13 yo daughter who I cant leave, and I cant afford to be out on my own.  I just need to learn how to live my life this way I guess.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          UK Girl wrote May 22, 2009
        • It’s very hard living with a drinker and even harder when you feel trapped - sorry your going through this.

           Kristin have you thought of going to a support group as its obviously still very raw with you ...



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Momwtwins2 wrote May 22, 2009
        • I THINK THINGS REALLY HIT BOTTOM WITH HIM WHEN HE GOT ARRESTED AND PUT IN JAIL. I LEFT HIM THERE FOR ABOUT 6 HOURS. HE HAS TWO DWI‘S UNDER HIS BELT, AND AFTER GOING THROUGH ALL THIS CRAP FOR SO MANY YEARS I JUST PRAIED THAT SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN. (NOT FOR ANYONE TO GET HURT) I THINK HE HAD TO COME TO THE END OF HIMSELF AND I JUST GOT TO THE POINT THAT I WOULD HAVE TO LEAVE. WITH SUPPORT OF MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS THEY WOULD HELP ME GET A JOB GO TO SCHOOL OR WHATEVER. I TOLD MY HUSBAND OF MY PLANS TO LEAVE IF HE DID NOT GET BETTER. SEX ENDED AND THERE WAS NO CONNECTION FOR 2 YEARS. I WENT ALONG WITH MY LIFE TAKING CARE OF OUR SMALL CHILDREN AND ONCE THEY STARTED SCHOOL I WOULD GO TO WORK. I THINK IT WAS REALALITY THAT HIT HIM. DID I TELL YOU HE LOST HIS LICENCE FOR 2 YEARS AND 7 MONTHS? I AM DRIVING HIM TO WORK AND BACK TOTAL OF 1 HOUR DRIVE. I DO TRY TO MAKE THE BEST OF IT AND MAKE IT FUN FOR MY GIRLS. BUT IT DOES CUT DOWN ON THE HOURS I CAN WORK COME SEPT. WE WILL BE HITTING HIS 1 YEAR MARK IN JULY. THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO THIS STORY....



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          Denise Richardson wrote May 22, 2009
        • Hang in there Kristin, its not easy when the images arew still there but you must find it in our heart to forgive. You mentioned you draw strength from your faith, well to me that says you beleive God will help you and that is true. He (God) will give you all the help you need in moving forward in your relationhship and making it stronger but we must be willing to let go and let God my best to you and yours.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jsrn66 wrote May 22, 2009
        • My husband got a DUI about 9 yrs ago and it didnt phase him one bit.  He doesnt think he has a drinking problem.  He thinks he can cut back and be fine.  His face has aged so much and he has such a beer belly and doesnt care.  I keep telling him he’s killing his liver..but no response. His father was an alcoholic also. He left the kids when they were really young. My husband has been drinking (beer) since he was 15-16 , and is now 47.  I curse his parents for buying him beer and his Dad for drinking with him. Its so sad.....for him, because he’s really a good guy...and for me and my daughter, b/c we have to live with it, see him drink, pass out, or act like an a**.I’ve learned to walk away when he gets like this.  If he passes out, I leave him where he is.  I even went and took my daughter too to alanon to get support and learn how to live with this.  I just never thought this would be how my life would end up.
          Jackie



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