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  • Southernese

    21 posts, 15 voices, 3083 views, started May 3, 2009

    Posted on Sunday, May 3, 2009 by 007pouty

    •  



    • Sapphire
      Offline

      Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption
      fit, and that you don’t ‘HAVE’ them, you ‘PITCH’ them.
      _

      Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
      peas, beans, etc., make up ‘a mess.’
      _
      Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
      ‘yonder.’
      _

      Only a Southerner knows exactly how long ‘directly’
      _

      Even Southern babies know that ‘Gimme some sugar’ is not a request for the
      white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
      middle of the table.
      _

      All Southerners know exactly when ‘by and by’ is
      _

      Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a
      neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of
      cold potato salad. If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also
      know to add a large banana puddin!
      -----------

      Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between ‘right near’ and ‘a
      right far piece.’ They also know that ‘just down the road’ can be 1 mile or
      20.
      -------------

      Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a
      redneck, a good ol’ boy, and Po white trash.
      _
      A Southerner knows that ‘fixin’ can be used as a noun,a verb, or an adverb.
      -----------------

      Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines ... And when we‘re ‘in
      line,’ .. We talk to everybody!
      _

      Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they‘re
      related, even if only by marriage.
      _

      In the South, y‘all is singular, all y‘all is plural
      _

      Southerners  know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
      _

      Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
      perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that
      fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
      -------------------

      When you hear someone say, ‘Well, I caught myself lookin‘,’ you know you are
      in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

       ---------------

      Only true Southerners say ‘sweet tea,’ sweet milk,’ and ‘light bread‘. Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it—- we do not like our
      tea unsweetened. ‘Sweet milk’ means you don’t want buttermilk. And ‘Light
      Bread’ is white bread.
      _

      And a true Southerner knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old
      ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, ‘Bless her heart’ .....
      and go your own way.
      ----------

      To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take
      two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning.
      Bless your heart!
      _

      And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this
      Southern stuff... Bless your little pea-pickin’ hearts, hear they are fixin’
      to have classes on Southerness as a second language!
      ---------------------

      And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long
      time, all y‘all need a sign to hang on y‘alls front porch that reads ‘I
      ain’t from the South, but I got here as fast as I could.’

      Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !

      Now.... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish
      they had been!

      If you‘re a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart; fake it! We know
      you got here as fast as you could.



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