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  • Southernese

    21 posts, 15 voices, 3083 views, started May 3, 2009

    Posted on Sunday, May 3, 2009 by 007pouty


    • Sapphire

      Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption
      fit, and that you don’t ‘HAVE’ them, you ‘PITCH’ them.

      Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
      peas, beans, etc., make up ‘a mess.’
      Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of

      Only a Southerner knows exactly how long ‘directly’

      Even Southern babies know that ‘Gimme some sugar’ is not a request for the
      white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
      middle of the table.

      All Southerners know exactly when ‘by and by’ is

      Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a
      neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of
      cold potato salad. If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also
      know to add a large banana puddin!

      Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between ‘right near’ and ‘a
      right far piece.’ They also know that ‘just down the road’ can be 1 mile or

      Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a
      redneck, a good ol’ boy, and Po white trash.
      A Southerner knows that ‘fixin’ can be used as a noun,a verb, or an adverb.

      Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines ... And when we‘re ‘in
      line,’ .. We talk to everybody!

      Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they‘re
      related, even if only by marriage.

      In the South, y‘all is singular, all y‘all is plural

      Southerners  know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

      Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
      perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that
      fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

      When you hear someone say, ‘Well, I caught myself lookin‘,’ you know you are
      in the presence of a genuine Southerner!


      Only true Southerners say ‘sweet tea,’ sweet milk,’ and ‘light bread‘. Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it—- we do not like our
      tea unsweetened. ‘Sweet milk’ means you don’t want buttermilk. And ‘Light
      Bread’ is white bread.

      And a true Southerner knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old
      ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, ‘Bless her heart’ .....
      and go your own way.

      To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take
      two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning.
      Bless your heart!

      And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this
      Southern stuff... Bless your little pea-pickin’ hearts, hear they are fixin’
      to have classes on Southerness as a second language!

      And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long
      time, all y‘all need a sign to hang on y‘alls front porch that reads ‘I
      ain’t from the South, but I got here as fast as I could.’

      Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !

      Now.... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish
      they had been!

      If you‘re a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart; fake it! We know
      you got here as fast as you could.


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