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  • TRAPPED, By Karen Haynes Gutherless (c)

    Love it
    2 posts, 2 voices, 948 views, started Oct 29, 2009

    Posted on Thursday, October 29, 2009 by KAREN GUTHERLESS


    • Aquamarine

      Feeling like a caged bird
      Trapped in my own inner prison
      With the threat of the outside world
      And fear continually haunting me

      I try to be in control
      An image of confidence is my game
      I say I can handle it all
      I often crumble and fall
      Under the weight of the doubts and the pain

      What do I have to do
      To break the control of the past
      Simply to exist in the present
      Without the constant fears that last

      The world inside and out threats to crush
      To hurt my existence, my well-being
      It controls my thoughts and actions
      And prevents me from any real living

      Their world defies intellect and feelings
      Imposes constant threats and fears
      It crushes and controls all my beings
      A safe place doesn’t seem to exist anywhere

      My only crime was being born to the wrong woman
      Into her viscous world where only silence and lies mattered
      Either follow her game plan or be discredited away
      Beyond that nothing really seemed to matter anyway

      The hope and promise of each new day
      Desperately searched for, but not often perceived
      The darkness and isolation of the night
      Are often the only things that can be believed

      Bitterness and resentment at a world
      Where from birth I was targeted in
      Anger at the impact of a declared war on my being
      The inability to find peace, never mind win

      I need to live, not just exist
      But where do I find the safety I need
      I need to talk, to hope, to understand
      But lack of trust chokes me like a weed

      I need to really feel a part
      To be connected to what I see
      To stay a part of space and time
      Without retreating somewhere inside of me

      I need to be able to experience some safety
      To stay in the world around me
      Feelings and thoughts from yesterday often intrude
      Confusion and fear become all that I can see

      I can’t seem to consistently stay here
      Driven elsewhere by bitter cold and constant pain
      From a world of irrational battles and war
      Living continually upon their razor-filled plain

      Allies around, yet it seems I’m fighting alone
      Trying to exist and live in a more peaceful way
      Looking for a ray of sunshine, of hope
      A place where screams and tapes inside
      Don’t fill my every night and day

      Love it


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