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  • What is your Favorite Color?

    13 posts, 11 voices, 1086 views, started Sep 27, 2008

    Posted on Saturday, September 27, 2008


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      Were you able to easily answer this question? Or did you have to take some time to think about it before you figured it out? Or maybe your answer was; I have no idea.  

      This seems like a pretty simple question to answer on the surface right? Not so if you have been in a long term relationship or a marriage. It is not uncommon for partners in a relationship to lose their own voice. This is even more common for the women in a relationship, as we often time set aside what is important to us as we focus on our mate and our children. I know this was the case for me and I often times found it hard to differentiate between my voice and theirs. I have to admit I made a pretty awesome chameleon in my day.  

      So what happens when that marriage or long term relationship ends? The answers to such simple questions as "What is your favorite color", become more difficult. You are now forced to look inside yourself and find out what it is that makes you tick; that is if you want to be happy and content after your marriage or relationship ends.

      How do you find out what makes you happy if you buried your dreams for the sake of your family/mate? Great question! The first step for me was to sit down and make a list of all the things that I wanted to do or have now that I was accountable to no one but me. That was easier said then done. Yes, I sat down, and pulled out my trusty journal and just stared at the blank page. I realized then that my future was a blank canvass, how intimidating or should I say terrifying. But I was up to the challenge and soon found that the more appropriate phrase was "how exciting". My future was of my making, wow talk about empowerment!

      I persevered and it was difficult, because my wants and needs were pushed so far down inside me that I had a hard time finding them. They slowly began to surface, however, once I put the idea out there. Being aware of my desire to be the true and authentic me allowed my daily focus to be on me. By doing this I was able to pay attention to those things around me that energized me.  

      For example, I never finished college because I got married and had my daughter. This dream of being a college graduate I found never truly died, so I put that on my list. How did I uncover this lost dream? Well, when I started on my journey toward rediscovering myself, I continually came across advertisements for the University of Phoenix. Eventually, I realized that the reason I was noticing these advertisements so frequently was because I really wanted to get my degree. Awareness is half the battle! So after a few false starts I finally made the phone call and enrolled in the program. I am proud to say, two and a half years after that call I received my Bachelor's Degree. See nothing is impossible! So start making your list today!  

      Not all of the things on my list consisted of things that came from my past dreams. I began to notice new things that I would never have attempted to do when I was married, that I wanted to try and/or experience. How did I find these things? I began engaging in conversations with the people around me. One of my co-workers was a prime example. She was an avid skier and runner. I was impressed. So I started asking her questions. Her passion and enthusiasm for both sports really came through in her conversation. So I thought, why not give it a try. So I started to run and I attempted to ski. I found that I had a passion for running, but the skiing not so much. So I hung up my skis and married my running shoes.  

      You don't have to wait for an end of a relationship to start rediscovering who you are and what you want from life. You too can take the time to make a list of the things you want to enjoy and experience. Don't let the demands of your mate or children be the excuse for living in mediocrity. Start becoming the person you were put on this earth to be, starting today! Doesn't the world deserve to experience the greatness of you?

      I still continue today to look for things to add to my list. Prior to this journey, I dreaded the beginning of each new day, now I embrace each new day with joy and excitement, open to finding something new and exciting to add to my list of things to experience. One thing that I can assure you of, there are two things that will never be on my list they are parachuting and mountain climbing. But, maybe you want to add those to your list. You won't know until you get started.  

      Next year will come regardless, what do you want to have experienced when it does? I encourage you to purchase that journal and start making your list today.

      If you need help uncovering those buried dreams I encourage you to hire a coach today. Sign up for a 30 minute Reclaim your Personal Power thru your Divorce Recovery Coaching Session [Link Removed]

      Divorcecoach, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.


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