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  • What Should I Do?

    26 posts, 14 voices, 1278 views, started Jan 10, 2011

    Posted on Monday, January 10, 2011 by Denise Richardson




    • Diamond
      Offline
      Ambassador

      Hello Fellow Fabber's, here is the dilemma:
      My oldest brother's son who is now married is expecting. I just found out about them having a baby a few weeks ago, Ok so now his wife sends me this invite to the baby shower scheduled for next month. But here is the thing I don't deal with my siblings, nor their children, and again not due to anything I've done or by my own decision, but to have the nerve to send me an invite and I haven't even heard from you nor my nephew let alone anyone else in the family with the exception of my baby sister briefly during the Thanksgiving holiday and you send me an invite to your shower. I feel its just for the gift alone, they never call or come visit, I have no known address for them or else I would have made the initiative to go visit them, but like it is said, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree,  my nephew is so following in his father's footsteps. I just hope he stays with his wife after the baby and is a great father to his son. So should I attend the baby shower or not???





        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Vikki Hall wrote Jan 10, 2011
        • I don’t think I would attend but I would extend that olive branch and send a card with a small gift cert inside.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Denise Richardson wrote Jan 10, 2011
        • heartThanks Vikki, I’m still contemplating the thought, I still have some time to figure it all out.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tiggerk wrote Jan 10, 2011
        • I think I’d attend and consider it a chance to get to know a few relatives I hadn’t met or at least hardly knew.  Consider it an attempt at friendship, maybe?  Or I’d send a card and probably a small gift like a onesie or a little hat (if you knit).  Who knows, maybe they‘re trying to make a friendly gesture?
          Kathy



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Ela2011 wrote Jan 10, 2011
        • You can always decline if you think they are really after a gift but let them know how nice it was to hear from them and leave the door open to another get-together....one that does not involve you having to spend money on them...



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tiggerk wrote Jan 10, 2011
        • Here’s a thought...maybe your nephew’s wife is someone who cares more about being loving toward relatives than her husband or in-laws are.  Maybe she’s saying “What’s with you not keeping in touch with your relatives?  They‘re probably nice people! You should at least make an effort to get to know them!”
          That’s what I told my husband, and we’ve been able to reconnect with a few of them. For what it’s worth...
          Kathy



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Mary Clark wrote Jan 10, 2011
        • Great points TiggerK!

          You know Neicy...one side of me says decline the invite and then another part of me says go and be on a level above them.  

          I guess this is what I would consider...what would Jesus do in this case?  Would he not go or would he go and be very loving.  Yeah.....hard to do...I know.  

          If you really don’t want to go....and you don’t want to buy a gift...then I would send them a very nice baby shower card wishing them the best and your regrets for not being able to attend.  You don’t have to give a reason...you can just decline.  

          Or if you feel compelled to give SOMETHING...then do the card and a gift card.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Denise Richardson wrote Jan 10, 2011
        • heartThanks ladies for all the suggestions, I’ll have to think really hard on this one. I do understand and welcome the thought of getting to know new family members, but its harder than you may know. Both families are a trip beyond the moon ok!? Her family is just as upiddy as my nephew was raised up tryin to be so I really don’t want to have to put on a false face knowing thats not me. I think I’m going to send a card and gift and be done with it now that I ponder backwards to her family and how sickening they can be as well as some of mine.tongue out



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Denise Richardson wrote Jan 10, 2011
        • Thank you Eva,
          I know at their wedding which was soooooo ghetto fabulous lol, her side of the family had their noses so far up in the air you could almost see their brain, and to see how my sisters were acting just peed me to no end I left after they did their vows I never made it to the reception. Only God knows how that went.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cheekymonkey wrote Jan 10, 2011
        • Niecy, I would go. Rsvp that you and maybe your daughter if she can would love to come but also have a prior engagement. I know its a small lie but leaves the door open for you to gracefully leave without hurting feelings.
          This baby is what its about. The baby you could have a great relationship with in years to come. And you have set the first stone to do this. As for a gift a savings bond is a good way to start a future for the little one. Thats a gift for him alone.
          I think if you dont go you will regret it and it slams the door on later invites.
          You will be able to look yourself in the mirror and know u did the right,family,loving thing.
          And my lady we both know the size of your heart.
          Just my 2cents lol



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tiggerk wrote Jan 13, 2011
        • Another option, if you want to make a connection & show you care, but don’t want to be around the other relatives, would be to say you can’t make it to the shower, but that you have a gift you’d like to stop by and give to them.  Then you can have a personal visit with them,get to know them better in a positive way, etc.  Good luck!
          Kathy



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Angelcart wrote Jan 13, 2011
        • Don’t cha just hate these dillemma’s!  If you don’t want to go then how about sending a card with a pack of diapers.  Believe me, they will be appreciated and used!  Before I had my child I was always annoyed to get invited to showers and have to buy gifts.  Seemed like it was all the time!  And it was!  Or just drop by for a few minutes and speak to the expecting mom and give her the card and gift.  There are so many wonderful inexpensitve gifts you can buy that are a needed,  You could get a basket from the dollor stor and stock it with baby wash, a few wash cloths, powder,  diaper rash ointment, etc. throw in a pacifier, maybe a small toy.  The possibilities are unlimited!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Hbrose wrote Jan 13, 2011
        • What a dilemma for sure. But there is no wrong decision it seems. Your heart is already in the right place trying to figure out what you should do, any way you go will be a good decision on your part. It’s who you are. Everyone has good suggestions, as for mine, I suppose I would send a little-something gift with a card and a note inside with appreciation for the invite though you can’t make the shower, but would love to come up for a visit after the baby arrives to visit with all of them. Good luck Neicy! happyheart



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Denise Richardson wrote Jan 14, 2011
        • Well guess what I got in the mail today? A formal invite to the baby shower. The first invite came via way of Facebook!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Denise Richardson wrote Jan 14, 2011
        • Well seeing I’ve spoken with my nephew since my last entry he wants me there terribly bad, so I have reconsidered and have decided to go, if things get ugly or just uncomfortable for me I will walk out quietly with my dignity.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tiggerk wrote Jan 14, 2011
        • Perfect! Now you know they really want you to go, and you have a plan.  Good for you!  You‘re a brave and caring lady.  God bless you, and I hope it goes really well. If nothing else, you’ve been gracious.
          Kathy



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cheekymonkey wrote Jan 14, 2011
        • heart Niecy, you are always dignified. A lady with a heart of gold.
          Im glad ur going and praying its wonderful for all of u
          Please let me know how it goes.
          Hugs
          Cris



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cocofix41 wrote Jan 15, 2011
        • Niecy, YOU ARE A WOMAN OF CLASS!
          Follow your heart, mull over the wonderful options
          and go with what feels good to you.

          You will be in my prayers, and I hope if you do decide
          to go, its GODS surprise to you that it opens a new door
          for youheartheart
          I believe in you!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Denise Richardson wrote Jan 15, 2011
        • hearthappyThank you Coco, Tigger,& Cheeky I’ll keep you all posted on the outcome. Now I have to see what to get the baby!happy



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Coachmombabe wrote Jan 15, 2011
        • Whether you go, or whether you don’t, just make sure that your motives are pure. Then there is no guilt or condemnation around it, no matter who says what. You’ll know the right thing to do, Neicy! heart



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tiggerk wrote Jan 16, 2011
        • If you make things by hand, there’s nothing better for a baby shower gift than a handmade blanket or a little sweater and hat...if you have time to make something.
          Kathy



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Denise Richardson wrote Jan 16, 2011
        • Hi Kathy, I’m not very crafty in making things like that, and I don’t have a lot of time to do so if I did, thanks lol.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tiggerk wrote Jan 17, 2011
        • Ah, yes.  Well, have a great time at the shower!
          Kathy



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cathie Beck wrote Jan 17, 2011
        • Neicy, I’m glad you’ve decided to go. You are obviously wanted there by your nephew and his wife, and what a wonderful opportunity to get to know them now.  

          Cathie

          PS: your grand daughter is such a Beauty!



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