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  • What took me so long?

    +6
    Love it
    31 posts, 18 voices, 3205 views, started Oct 4, 2008

    Posted on Saturday, October 4, 2008 by Cheryl Phillips

    •  



    • This has been the most amazing few days in my 45 years. Since my divorce 7+ years ago, I realized that there really aren’t that many fish in the sea...I concentrated on raising my children, enjoying my life and getting to know “me” as both a woman and a Mom. I was in no rush to enter into the wrong relationship. In the beginning I’d try hard to make something of nothing—trying to make things work because there were days that I just wanted a “normal” life. It wasn’t til my Dad was dying in 2005 that I realized I do have a normal life. He told me that I was a special woman and I shouldn’t have to look for a guy...he would find me in time. This from the man who gave me my sense of humor, my appreciation for art and love for life. My Dad has been gone for 3.5 years now and I miss him dearly. However,I often find myself looking up and saying, “Is he going to find me yet?”  because I’ve been ready for a relationship for awhile now...just not the wrong one.

      When I reconnected this summer with Anthony, who I dated briefly 4 years ago, it was like a switch went on. We dated at the wrong time then (I had 5 at home and was wrapped up with kids, a job and an uncooperative ex) and he was going thru a divorce while balancing a high profile job with two young boys. We kept in touch throughout the 4 years via emails and an occasional lunch. We became friends, which I think is most important.

      We met for a drink this past summer just to say hi. We’ve been together since. The man that I knew and adored four years ago was even better than he already was. Loveable, affectionate, smart, phenomenal Dad and...my kids embraced him immediately. They truly love him and feel it back. His sons, who are my sons’ ages, are just incredible. I’ve already found a place in my heart for all of these men in my life!

      Yesterday we met for lunch...an hour outside of work, kids, life...and both of us, afraid to say what we have been thinking all along....we‘re one rocking couple. We laugh together constantly and the attraction is incredible—and not just physical. We‘re soulmates for sure. My Dad set this up, no doubt.  

      Anthony told me that he’s been thinking how great it would be to have a future together. The “L” word...there it was. All we’ve been thinking and afraid to say tumbled out at lunch. So, of course, I got hormonally weepy. The funny girl has some serious moments. I held up a napkin in front of my face and said “It’s my sinuses“. We laughed...I can never be serious for long.

      Why am I posting this? Because...the world is full of depressing news. I’ve struggled as a single Mom for over 7 years and I think I’ve done the best possible job. I cannot believe I’ve found someone who treats me with the love and respect that I saw my parents have for each other.  

      It’s never too late....but I never thought it would happen to me. I’m more than lucky. I’m just crazy about this guy who just happens to be crazy for me.  

      Great friends, awesome lovers, and 7 kids between us.....

      I’m telling you...I cannot wipe the grin off my face.  

      :)

      +6
      Love it


      •  


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Ritzimiranda wrote Oct 4, 2008
        • Thanks for sharing your life Cheryl... it definitely inspires ME!!

          You deserve it.. revel in it girl!!!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Inhalepeace wrote Oct 4, 2008
        • YOU are FABULOUS WOMAN who's been blessed in many ways !
          A caring daughter and mother ----
          Now LOVE & HAPPINESS found you......................... Embrace it and never let it go.
          Thank you for sharing this with us.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jenny79 wrote Oct 4, 2008
        • I’m very happy for you, I hope it works out great.  Everyone deserves to have someone treat them with great respect and love.  So Congrats!!!!!

          I hope some of your good fortune will rub off on me, I’m also a single mother whose only child left for college this fall.  I’ve been divorced over thirteen years.  I’ve had an on and off relationship for eight years with one man and we were even engaged for a little while, I’ve recently finally closed that door.  First I was married to an abusive man than five years after my divorce I fell in love with an old friend that is a different type of an abusive man.  He is more mentally abusive in a sneaky underhanded way, that is hard to put your finger on.  God will have to bring him to me.  Of course the last time I said that, this last guy called me and asked me out, and he seemed perfect, so I guess I better take a break for awhile.  I’m 47, maybe my luck will be in my 50’s?



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Dee Dee Shaw wrote Oct 4, 2008
        • woohoo! I am so happy for you! I have to agree with Ellen, although I don’t think I can put it in the same class with chocolate truffles. hehe And lest there be some confusion there, I’d have to say that even truffles can’t compete with the floating on air feeling of being crazy in love.
          That’s alot coming from a chocoholic. :)

          Dee Dee



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Ritzimiranda wrote Oct 4, 2008
        • Umm... I’ll take that recipe for the homemade truffles. LOL

          Seriously!!

          Maritza



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Ritzimiranda wrote Oct 5, 2008
        • Nice looking man Cheryl... good things obviously come to those who wait.

          Take care

          ~M



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jenny79 wrote Oct 5, 2008
        • He is a keeper, nice smile!!!! You make a nice looking couple.  And its so great when everyone blends together!!!   Congratulations to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
          I’m going to rub my mouse on your head for good luck!  lol



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jenny79 wrote Oct 5, 2008
        • That is so good to hear, it gives me hope.  I went to see Nights in Rodanthe, but hadn’t read the book.  That was suppose to give me hope.  So now you can be my true life inspiration!!  Thanks for sharing with us this wonderful germ of love that has infected you!  You help a lot of us out here in 40’s land!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cheryl Phillips wrote Oct 5, 2008
        • Oh I hv to see that movie!! Anytime u need inspiration just remember patience. I have very little but now I am  glad I waited.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jenny79 wrote Oct 5, 2008
        • :atience okay, I’ve been divorced since 1995, dated the last guy for 8 years thinking we could figure this out.  Now, I have finally shut this door and realized things would never changed.  So, I will be patient and wait for God to bring me the man that is meant for me.  In the mean time I think I will go out and walk my dog in the beautiful weather.  Enjoy your time and new life and keep us informed.  And thanks for the advice and inspiration.  Oh, and by the way if your head tickled it was only from the mouse rubbing over your head for good luck, kidding.  Later have a great Sunday!!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cynthia Schmidt wrote Oct 5, 2008
        • Cheryl, you can’t see right now but I’m doing a happy dance for you and Anthony!!!!!

          And, forget getting a recipe for homemade truffles, the truffles are on me!!!! Any favorites in mind? I need some inspiration for the holiday season. I’ll put on the soundrack for “chocolat” and do my magic in my workshop.

          Congrats on the new found spring in your step!
          Cynthia



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Cat Valentine wrote Oct 6, 2008
        • I am so happy for you! I have to share what happened to me last year. I had been dating a musician for 5 years (I am also a musician), and found out that when I would drop him off at the airport, another woman would pick him up who thought ‘she’ was the one. We played in a duo and he was the bass player in my 4 piece band, so it was hard to not be around him. He would say he broke it off with her, and then of course they would call and email and I knew that it wasn’t over. So I finally left him May of ‘07. The whole summer he would call and I wouldn’t pick up the phone. Then one night he called and said that he had a gig in Norway and would I like to play keys and sing with them. (He was going to pay my way). I said I would go, never having been to Europe before. Well, when we got to the airport and the Norwegian guitar player picked us up, my jaw dropped! Was he HOT! We talked nonstop, and laughed, and pretty much fell for each other right away. I slept in a room all by myself at his house, which the bass player wasn’t thrilled about, he thought this was his chance to get back together. Anyways, after I got back to Florida Jo called and we texted and emailed until he came to visit me 4 weeks later. We finally ‘sealed’ our love on that visit and he asked me to move back to Norway. In January I did, and we got married in March! Phill, the bass player is pretty much eating crow back home...I call it Karma! Sometimes love finds us when we‘re not looking.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jenny79 wrote Oct 6, 2008
        • Catgirl, Congratulations!  More inspiring stories!  Keep them coming!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Kisbel65 wrote Oct 7, 2008
        • Congrats! I found love after 40, but not commitment. I am struggling with that issue right now. I am 43 and my boyfriend (well now ex) is 52. We were together for 1 1/2 years and we had a great relationship. We communicated very well and had fab sex life. Problem was he wanted to move in together and I wanted to get married. I’ve been married once before and he has been married 3 times. I broke up with him on Sat. I am not bitter, but I am hurt



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cheryl Phillips wrote Oct 7, 2008
        • I commented on your other post....do what is right for you. I go with my gut. It is always right.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jenny79 wrote Oct 7, 2008
        • kisbel65, you did the right thing.  I’m not saying for sure because I know a lot of people and situations that people have been married three times, and it doesn’t always mean they have a problem, but it might be worth considering.

          I have a wonderful friend that has been married three times.  Unfortunately, she keeps marrying the same kind of guy just better looking.  

          You did right by holding on to what you believe!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jenny79 wrote Oct 19, 2008
        • Okay, thats it, can you clone this man! Just kidding, he sounds wonderful!  I’m very happy for you!  Enjoy!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cheryl Phillips wrote Oct 19, 2008
        • Funny, I asked him yesterday to clone himself so I could have him with me all the time. ;)  You know, it’s not often we hear about a really great guy or a guy talking about a really great woman. It’s sad. I hear how my sister talks to and about the man she’s been with for 6 years. Never anything nice. He’s done a lot for her and she just expects it. All she does is complain about what she hates. I do not take ANYTHING for granted in my life...so when something is really great, I want to share it because maybe it will inspire someone to say something NICE to the person they are with.

          happy



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Catherine Cox-Carter wrote Nov 6, 2008
        • I can relate in the waiting aspect. I just turned 45 last month and I have been married less than a year. Before you ask its my first marriage. For the better part of my life I craved having a relationship with a man. Then at the age of 26 I got into recovery for addiction I started getting a healthy self esteem and eventually was rediagnosed with ADHD. With all of this I started  getting healthy both emotionally and physically. The one remaining problem was the guys I would hook up with were nothing more than distractions. I knew that none of them were marring material. Finally at the age of 33 I met a guy that I truly loved and some what considered having more than just a fling with. I met him in a hotel that I was working at, at the time. We fell in love with each other and that’s when the problem arose. The problem was he traveled all over the world for work and I lived in North Carolina and his home was in Utah. If we were to continue the relationship I would either move to Utah and almost never see him or go with him when he traveled for his work. In other words I would not have a life apart from him. This was something I could not do so we went our separate ways. Years past and I resolved myself that I was ok with out a man in my life. My philosophy was if it happens that’s great but if not I am ok with it and it does not make me any less of a person. Fast forward almost 10 years. Its the fall of 2006 I am at a church function and I spot a young cute man that is new to the group. Its November and I had just turned 43 the previous month. I go over and start up a conversation with him. The next month he comes back to the same event and this time after the event we go and hang out with some friends of mine and his at Applebees. I could go into how we started dating but its complicated and to long to tell. So lets just say we started dating on December 8th 2006. Oh and I  forgot to add that he is 26 when I met him. He told me this in Applebees. I have dated younger guys before but never this young. At first I thought this was a problem but I came to realize that age is just a thing and I have fallen in love with him in the mean time. So on Valentines day of 2007 he proposes to me and I accept. We got married on December 8 2007. I now kid about the fact that I had to wait so long to let him grow up. Also just to  let you know there is approximately 16 and 1/2 years difference between us. I now realize 43 years is not that long to wait for the love of your life.  

          Cat



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Chrysoula Brison wrote Dec 25, 2010
        • I was married for 19 years and never felt “treasured” or “in love” with my husband...  

          Now I’m 43 and I’m crazy in love with someone I had met through work over 4 years ago, but we had never dated back then.

          I never EVER thought in a million years that Love would find me and was living in a bitter, sad and lonely life until my boyfriend gave me his love & his heart.

          I am starting to believe that love in the later part of our lives is much more rewarding and real. When we‘re mature enough to know what life is all about, we are able to sort events & opportunities with a more realistic & more confident approach.

          As I like to say, “I’ve been around the block a few times” so I know what I want and don’t want! And this time, I definitely WANT this man in my life!

          It’s good to feel loved, cherished and needed by a man and not have to wonder for almost 2 decades why I’m not getting the kind of love I crave & deserve!

          So never second-guess your feelings, even if they make you behave like a school girl! Love is so much better when you‘re old enough to appreciate it! heart

          And good job on all you ladies who are allowing yourselves to find happiness again!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Mary Clark wrote Dec 26, 2010
        • I hope Cheryl re-visits this post.  Cheryl is in love but it’s not with Anthony (the guy she posted a picture of)  It’s Mr. Hotbuns!  LOL

          I’ll let her tell you about him.....estatic



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jewelrybyirina wrote Dec 26, 2010
        • She was so Happy with Anthony... What happened?



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cheryl Phillips wrote Dec 26, 2010
        • This was a LONG time ago...and it ended two years ago in Jan. I made this decision—and it wasn’t all as happy as it seemed. I’m so glad that I made the move to end what could have been a controlling relationship. He was a nice guy but as time went on, you don’t tolerate someone who says “writing is a waste of your degree” and “try to get my laundry done before I stop by your house at night...you work at home so you should have time.” and “I don’t like when children talk during dinner...I don’t allow my boys to do that.”

          No question that I’m independent, love what I do for a living and enjoy every moment with my children (and we TALK at dinner!!!)...and I could not envision a future with this man.  

          I didn’t date at all after that until the one guy that I loved more than anyone back in the 80s (we dated for years before he moved to the west coast in 1990) found me via my oldest daughter. I could not move out west back then as my parents were ill at the time.

           We’ve been joined at the hip 3025.27 miles apart for many months now...and taking advantage of Southwest Airlines to get us back and forth. This is why I do believe there’s a reason for everything...Anthony was great but he was put there to make me see that I should always hold out for the right thing.

          I’m glad I didn’t date after him....if I had been in a relationship when Lee found me early in the summer 2010, I would not have known what to do. He’s my best friend and the chemistry is STILL hot after 20+ years.  

          Anthony who?



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jewelrybyirina wrote Dec 26, 2010
        • Good for you Cheryl!!!
          I am so happy you found what you were looking for!!!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cheryl Phillips wrote Dec 26, 2010
        • Thank you!! We have such an amazing friendship that makes the romance even better!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Free4all wrote Apr 17, 2012
        • oh honey...thank you for giving me hope!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Virgogoldp wrote May 10, 2012
        • Hi Cheryl, I’m new here and have enjoyed reading your posts. It’s 2012, I hope you are still just as happy in what sounds like a loving relationship. You give me hope too.heart



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