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  • When Do You Stop Worrying?

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    Love it
    19 posts, 18 voices, 4109 views, started Dec 20, 2010

    Posted on Monday, December 20, 2010 by Yana Berlin




    • Diamond
      Offline

      WORRY

      Is there an imaginary cutoff period when
      Offspring become accountable
      For their own actions?
      Is there some wonderful moment when
      Parents can become detached spectators in
      The lives of their children and shrug,
      ‘It’s Their life,’ and feel nothing

      When I was in my twenties,
      I stood in a hospital corridor
      Waiting for doctors to put a few stitches
      In my son’s head and I asked,
      ‘When do you stop worrying?’
      The nurse said,
      ‘When they get out of the accident stage..’
      My Parents just smiled faintly
      And said nothing.

      When I was in my thirties,
      I sat on a little chair in a classroom
      And heard how one of my children
      Talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
      And was headed for a career
      Making license plates.
      As if to read my mind, a teacher said,
      ‘Don’t worry, they all go through this stage
      And then you can sit back,
      Relax and enjoy them.’
      My Parents just smiled faintly
      And said nothing.

      When I was in my forties,
      I spent a lifetime waiting
      For the phone to ring,
      The cars to come home,
      The front door to open.
      A friend said,
      ‘They‘re trying to find themselves.
      ‘Don’t worry!
      In a few years, they’ll be adults.
      ‘They’ll be off on their own
      They’ll be out of your hair’
      My Parents just smiled faintly
      And said nothing.

      By the time I was 50,
      I was sick & tired of being vulnerable.
      I was still worrying over my children,
      But there was a new wrinkle..
      Even though they were on their own
      I continued to anguish over their failures,
      Be tormented by their frustrations and
      Absorbed in their disappointments..
      And there was nothing I could do about it.
      My Parents just smiled faintly
      And said nothing.

      My friends said that
      When my kids got married
      I could stop worrying
      And lead my own life.
      I wanted to believe that,
      But I was haunted by my parent’s warm smiles
      And their occasional,
      ‘You look pale. Are you all right’ ?
      ‘Call me the minute you get home‘.
      Are you depressed about something?’

      My friends said that
      When I became a grandparent
      That I would get to enjoy
      The happy little voices yelling
      Grandma! Papa!
      But now I find that I worry
      Just as much about the little kids
      As the big ones.
      How can anyone cope
      With all this Worry?

      Can it be that parents are sentenced
      To a lifetime of worry?
      Is concern for one another
      Handed down like a torch
      To blaze the trail of human frailties
      And the fears of the unknown?
      Is concern a curse or is it
      A virtue that elevates us
      To the highest form of earthly creation?

      Recently, one of my own children
      Became quite irritable, saying to me,
      ‘Where were you?
      I’ve been calling for 3 days,
      And no one answered
      I was worried.’
      I smiled a warm smile.
      The torch has been passed.

      PASS IT ON TO OTHER WONDERFUL PARENTS
      (And also to your children... That’s the fun part)

      +5
      Love it




        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Brimstone1968 wrote Dec 20, 2010
        • I donot think the worryng stops per say but as time goes by it sure move from worrying to concerns.  Parenting is a real lifetime job, with no brakes and vacations and sure no retirement either.  Thanks for sharing.



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Yana Berlin wrote Dec 20, 2010
        • Life time job for sure estatic worry never ends, regardless if they are 10 or 40.



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Tuliplady wrote Dec 20, 2010
        • I don’t worry any less about the 27 yr old than I do about the 15 yr old.



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Cheekymonkey wrote Dec 20, 2010
        • heart Yana, First thank u for sharing and this is a great topic. I for one still worry.
          My son was at a Christmas party on sat. He was staying the night....no worries come Sunday
          And with the rain about 3pm I was in a state of worry. He was in corona about an hour away.
          His cell phone had died and I didnt hear from him till 530 amost 24 hours he left

          He is a resonsible man at 25 but I was in a frantic almost.
          It would be great not to worry but I truely believe once your a mother worry is one of those things no one tells u about and from the day our children are born we are life time worriers.
          thats it no way to get around it.
          Id love the peace but it is a fact we will worry forever just maybe not as verbal but that small smile your parents gave u was shouting we still worry too



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Moloco2 wrote Dec 20, 2010
        • Love it, Yana!  So true - the worry never ends.  Thanks for a great article. estatic heart



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Mary Clark wrote Dec 21, 2010
        • My 81 year old mother in law will tell you...you never stop worrying about your children and grandchildren! It comes with the job!  

          But I will add....if you have God in your life... and you put your trust and faith in Him...He can sure make that job easier.....



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Max0125 wrote Dec 21, 2010
        • Love it!



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Vintagemama wrote Feb 8, 2011
        • Great post! Thanks for sharing . . . . hope to see more moms connecting here in the group. Nina



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Yana Berlin wrote Jun 12, 2011
        • I think at a certain age the roles are reversed, and we worry about our parents more then they worry about us.  

          After all, if we do our job right, our kids will leave us to lead their own lives, only later in life to come back and care for us the same way we cared for them when they were children.

          This is what I call a circle  of life. ohhhh



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Marya1961 wrote Jun 13, 2011
        • So true!heartheart



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Karen29115 wrote Jun 13, 2011
        • You never stop worrying about your kids. When they were babies you worried about the little things.... were they gaining weight and growing at the right rate...were they learning at the right level... you remember...the simple things. Then as they got older you began to worry about school, and their friends, peer pressure, and what they were watching on TV. Then it was cars, and sex, and the possibility of drugs and alcohol...the list was never ending. But eventually they became adults...and then it was college, and career choices. And just when you think you have come to terms with all the what if’s you have worried about  you find yourself a grandparent...and your worry cycle starts all over again.



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