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  • WHY???

    11 posts, 10 voices, 723 views, started Apr 6, 2009

    Posted on Monday, April 6, 2009

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    • inactive
      Amethyst
      Offline

      Why is it that my husbands kids can do something and nothing is said, and my kids do the same thing and are expected to be punished for it?????? The sad thing is my hubby doesn’t even see it.  We have a great relationship other than when it comes to the kids. For example, his 11-year-old son hits his walls with toys when he is angry or he throws balls at his walls, and nothing is done. However, when my girls are playing in their room, which is right next to ours, and they thump the wall while playing, he throws a fit and demands, not asks that I punish them.  This kind of crap goes on all the time and my girls are resentful of the fact.  Any advise?



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jenz ~ wrote Apr 6, 2009
        • The same rules apply to every kid in the house. It’s only fair. Hubz will have to get on that same page.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Doreen XoXo wrote Apr 6, 2009
        • step families are so hard.  My sister had hers, his and their own.  Very trying times but today...they are happier than ever.  Just so difficult to get it together.  

          xoxo



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tammyjoa wrote May 12, 2009
        • OMG SOUND LIKE MY HOUSE... MY STEPKIDS ARE ANGELS TO MY HUSBAND. THEY HAVE ALWAYS LIVED WITH THEIR FATHER AND I AND I HAVE RAISE THEM FROM AGES 8,6.3. THEYARE OW 21,19,17,  ALTHOUGH MY BIRTHSON DOES NOT LIV WITH US. I DO HAVE MY BROTHERS KIDS AND I KNOW JUST WHAT YOU MEAN.. THE GIRLS 9,8,6.BREATH WRONG AN THEY ARE IN TROUBLE BUT HIS KIDS NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG. HIS KIDS YELL AT ME THROW FITS SAY AND DO WHAT EVER THEY WANT. AND NOW EVERYONE IS WONDERING WHY THE GIRLS ARE ACTING THE WAY THEY ARE... WHEN I TRY TO SAY LOOK AT THE WAY EVERYONE ELES IS  ITS STILL MY FAULT..I BABY THEM. I LET THEM GET AWAY WITH EVERY.  I AM DOING NO DIFF WITH THEM THEN I DID WITH HIS KIDS... HIS KIDS HAVE NO MADE ME FEEL LIKE A FAILURE.... THEY TREAT ME SO BAD, AND I STILL DO EVERYTHING FOR THEM..



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Vikki Hall wrote May 12, 2009
        • In MY house it was MY rules regardless of who’s kid. Blending families is very hard. I can’t remember the Dr on Oprah but he is Jewish I believe and has great advice on blending families and how to be parents.
          You could probably check Oprah’s site and you may be able to find him. I wish he was around when I was blending 16 years ago.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Susan Dahringer wrote May 12, 2009
        • I would have a heart to heart talk with your husband first and explain how you feel about the situation.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tammyjoa wrote May 12, 2009
        • roflmao.... i have done that for years now... dont work...



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Suzanne Sellers wrote Jun 13, 2009
        • Glad to know I’m not alone.  I had 1 (now 14), he had 2 (15 & 17), we had 1 (7).  His 2 can do no wrong, my 1 always does wrong and our 1 barely does wrong.  I bought a book called “Yours, Mine & Ours“.  It helped a great deal.  When one child (whichever one) did something that needed to be disciplined, it was held off until my husband and I discussed it in private - total private.  That way the kids didn’t hear the arguing or comparing or anything else.  Discipline action or discussion with that child happened after our discussion.  It stopped the kids from pitting us against each other too.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Lilwhitedaisy wrote Aug 23, 2009
        • Blending families takes time...years  infact, some get it, some dont..you and your spouse have to be a united front, and treat all the kids the same ..as if you had had them all together, rather than the his , hers mentality. It will always be difficult if you and your spouse arent on the same page. This is why so many 2nd/ 3rd marriages fail. Also NEVER bad mouth the mom no matter how much you may not like her, no matter how much she gets on your last nerve. Kids arent stupid, they know who and when they can play one off against the other. Councelling helps...but it all depends how much you are prepaired to put into the family..and if your not on the same page..then no matter what you do , its not going to work. GOOD LUCK your gonna need it.



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