With Age Comes Wisdom - NOT!

I was always told I’d get smarter as I got older.

“You’ll understand when you‘re older,” my parents always said when they didn’t want to explain something.

Well, you know what?  I’m old enough and there’s still a whole lot I don’t get.

Like why I wasted all those youthful years full of opportunity and promise worrying about superficial things:

My eyes are two close together.
My nose droops when I smile.
My upper lip is thin.
I hate my pimples.
My hair’s too thick and wavy.
I’m not smart enough.
I need a boyfriend.

Because now:

I don’t give a hoot about my eyes, my nose, or my lips.
I still hate my pimples (yes, I still get them).
I love my hair.
I could be smarter but I’m smart enough.
I have a husband...though sometimes it would be nice to have a boyfriend (shhh).

So, you see, with age I gave up those frivolous concerns. I’m much more serious now. I have more important things to worry about like:

The deep wrinkles setting in around my close-set eyes.
The sun damage breeding on my chest.
The fact that I have to get my hair colored every 6 weeks to cover the quick sprouting grays.
The age spots and thinning skin on my hands.
The fact that I can’t cough or sneeze without peeing in my pants.

To those who say with age comes wisdom...

...WTH!

With age comes a hundred more shallow reasons to bitch.

Check back in with me after another decade. Maybe the wisdom will show up by then.