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Q & A

Legend In Her Own Mind ;

 Queen Bee (atch)
How do or would you deal with a or tolerate a neighbor (that has lived in the building 10 years, I moved in 4 months ago)

 She  feels she lives in a single family home but actualy  lives in a multi apartment building and  

 shows obvious disdain by everyday life activities of her neighbors by acting out in:

tantrums

continuall noise terrorism (vacuuming for hours on end ), parking her vauum in the bathroom directly above mine while on and letting it sit for 30 mintues YES 30 minutes. I had to take a valium.

making annonomous and random complaints to magement  and the owner of the building about the most mundane inconveniences ex:

I was sweeping the patio (shared patio) while she use laundry room and she slammed the laundry door repeatedly, while giving me the most uninviting look.

Is she insane? obnoxious or just a douche-bag?

Making reports on my fiance using the garage as a storage facility.... he has a workbench, and over 5,000 dollars in tools in the garage-ps she has ran off several including her ex best friend according to my frined the onsite mgr.
hmmmm, I m getting the calling from my beautiful yamaha acoustic to go into the bedroom and play (her windows are open) I will be calling the owner tomorrow.... ANY advice please,

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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Mar 30, 2011
    • move!!

      Try and kill her with kindness. Maybe she is lonely, have a cup of coffee with her or just smile each time you see her. We never know what trials someone has unless we are in their shoes.

      Sometimes the angriest of people are the loneliest.

      or again... move! tongue out




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote Mar 30, 2011
    • sadly moving is not an option , I did write out a letter to mgmt company, an outline of my contributions to the little apt community and the annoyances she is providing.

      ( my mgr friend liked it)  sooo... I will polish it up tomorrow and fax it over then make a call...

      Thanks Tracy!




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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Mar 30, 2011
    • Sorry you are going through this, she sounds unstable, to just run a vacuum for 30 minutes is ridiculous, she must not have any concerns as to her utility bills. Sheesh. I can’t stand people like this, sadly they exist all over the place. Since moving isn’t an option for you, I hope your letter gets results. Maybe if you can get several other tenants to sign the letter maybe management can give her a warning. Good luck and keep us posted.




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    • +3 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Mar 30, 2011
    • I had some horrible upstairs neighbors for a while.  This is what worked for me.  First, I suggest you do not send the letter at this point.  Go to management and get a copy of the formal rules regarding noise.  For example, 10 pm to 7 am is officially the quiet time in my complex.  After that no vacuuming, loud music, etc. If there are no rules, please ask the apartment manager to create some written rules-give your input as much as possible.  Then ask that the rules be distributed (or redistributed)to all tenants.  Do not name any names.  Each and every time a rule is broken by nasty neighbor, report it objectively to management.  After a while, the neighbor will either chose to behave or management will threaten her with eviction.  Do not bad mouth neighbor or talk behind her back.  You’ve got to be the sane and rational one here!

      As far as your other question goes, she is likely to be unhappy, lonely, frustrated, and possibly suffering from a mental illness.   I’m sure she doesn’t like herself much more than you do (like her I mean!).




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Max0125 wrote Mar 31, 2011
    • I agree with all of the exceptional advice listed above. The most important thing to do is not to stoop to her level. She sounds like she is not a well or happy person.

      Good luck!

      Mary




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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Mar 31, 2011
    • OMG, I had a crazy neighbor like that and I moved. And there was no introducing myself, she stormed up to me and yelled at me that I couldn’t park there (and it was my parking space). She did really strange and bizarre things like yank a plant up in my yard and stuff it in the septic tank hole. I couldn’t take it, I moved to the little cottage down below that my landlady owned. Maybe your landlord has another apartment available that is far enough from her that you have some peace and quiet?  

      I’m so sorry you ended up with such a neighbor and hope somehow it works out better for you.  

      Cathie




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote Mar 31, 2011
    • Thank you for your advice!

       I left message with mgmt company, unfortuanately I was told by my friend the onsite mgr yes she has mental probs NO friends or family will visit her,(it is not my job to befriend her, I have smiled and that pisses her off more)
      regarding the quiet hours, these vacuum rants are going on during the open noise hours, but geez 2hours! and then the leave it on for 30 mintues while it sits in the bathroom..this began only in recent weeks after she has peeked in my windows and noticed the times I take a nap after work, so that is out the window..the time frame anyway. I noted in my letter to mgmnt (havn’t sent it yet, im waiting to talk with them first)I added this: do you think it is too much?

      I would like to do my best to resolve any issues and maintain a peaceful living environment with my neighbors.

       After being approached by the onsite manager
      I feel I have done my part in addressing any situation that has come up to keep this peaceful, such as;

      •not closing my security screen door
      •being conscience of not slamming my shower door and kitchen cupboards,
      •being of conscience of not talking to loudly,
      •not playing my acoustic guitar with the door or windows open,  

      I understood when I moved in, this lady is very sensitive and has a tendency to complain and I am doing my best to accommodate her  

      Had I known she was going to be a controller of
      •What time I can get up (the "noise" of me getting out of bed apparently bothers her
      •What time I can bathe (my water running seems to bother her)
      •What I can put in my garage
      •When I can sweep the patio
      •How softly I have to close my cupboards

      I would have taken that into consideration, However I am disabled, and it would be a hardship for me to move at this point.
      I would much rather work something out so everyone can live in peace.
      well, this is where Im at now ladies. this is the end of the letter.... Iknow, I may not even need to send it just file it away for reference, I will know more after I speak with the Property Company
      GEEZ! “Can’t we all just get along“!




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote Mar 31, 2011
    • I must add, I was told my the onsite mgr, the girl is mental-this woman had her best friend errr former bestie move into this apt, and terrorized her by calling repeatedly from midnight to 6 am.. so the OS MGR told me not to give her my #... and she did the vacuum bit until the former friend poke a hole in the ceiling by banging on it with something....they are no longer friends and she has ran everyon off who has moved in here. I wish she would have told me the entirety of this before I moved in but there is a reason for everything!
      DANG!tongue out




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Apr 1, 2011
    • I agree with the kindness..there are people who really need to be shown how their behavior affects others..she sounds like that type of person...like Tracy mentioned, maybe inviting her for coffee and some gentle conversation may be helpful.




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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Apr 1, 2011
    • Mary, the woman is mentally ill. Inviting her in for coffee and conversation is really risky!
      I don’t think Msj putting herself at risk here is going to be helpful. That woman’s best friend got run off by this neighbor. Maybe you missed that?  

      Cathie




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote Apr 2, 2011
    • Thank you Cathie!
      Well, I have been ignoring her and the situation  seems to lightened up. Thank you for the info!

      Other than this woman, I love the apt! and the other neighbors too....

      Thank you all for lettingme vent!
      MUAH!heart




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Apr 2, 2011
    • is there any way to move to a different unit??




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote Apr 2, 2011
    • No, it is only a 5 unit complex very small. She has chilled out, The major management doesn’t seem to be to concerned with her complaining, and the vacuuming has decreased immensely, so I might just be ok...

      My friend, the onsite mgr has been there 17 yrs and most of the tenants have been there a while, the thing is, this girl’s apt has no adjoining walls to anyone but me LOL go figure!

      That’s ok...for now
      Thanks Tracy!happy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Apr 3, 2011
    • I’m hoping you have long periods of peaceful quiet, Msj. I lived in a small complex and had to move my bed away from a wall that backed up to the neighbor’s closet. He would bang his heavy metal clothes hangers onto the pole and slide them to one side while muttering loudly. I was thinking the man very odd and then I found out that his wife had left him and he was hurting, which explains the middle of the night closet forays.  

      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Frannie1964 wrote Apr 3, 2011
    • YIKES! sorry you have to go thru that. So lucky I have good neighbors.

      There was that time my bff and I were roommates in an apt. building and our bedroom was right next to the neighbors bedroom, walls connected to hers and I believe she dated alot, we seen her with a differant guy all the time, anyway when she had them over you can hear them late at night while we were trying to sleep, her fricken bed was up against our wall...lol!!ohhhh and then her moans. Well my bff at the time use to practice on her electric guitars so she had an amplifier(sp) one night she put it against the wall and plugged it in and turned it up. estatic Believe it or not, I think the lady moved her bed away from the wall cause after that we didn’t hear from her.  

      But anyway, I do hope that neighbor of yours settles down and gives you some neighborly respect.heart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote Apr 3, 2011
    • Frannie that is so funny about the guitar amp LOL

      Well, last night my bf and I had a private party hehe....
      a few cocktails and music, candles LOTS of LOUD talking and laughing, Im waiting to hear the complaint.....argh




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