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Being in a relationship before marriage how long do you think one should date before getting married? I do know that it depends on the individuals, but being with someone as long as 8-10 years and still not married is kinda strange to me, what are the intentions of the parties involved? I do know people like Oprah doesn’t want to get married, but for those that do and are in this type of situation how long is too long for you? And will you continue to stay in the relationship with out the marriage commitment?

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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Apr 14, 2011
    • The reason this question was asked was because I’m watching Maury Povich’s show and there is this young lady on here being young and a mother of (5) children with the same man, but he has been cheating on her and she stated she has been with him for (8) years. Why??????tongue out




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Apr 14, 2011
    • My husband and I never dated before we got together, but we’d known each other for years and years.

      We were together about a year and a half before we got married, but I had no need of marriage.  We were committed to one another and that was enough for me.  I don’t need all the paper work.  I’d be with him yet today with or without a wedding.

      As for that girl on television, she’d got to have mental problems.




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Apr 14, 2011
    • [Link Removed], my 1st hubby and I dated for 5 years we were high school sweethearts and married two years after high school. My hubby now we married 1 year after courtship and we‘re going on 10yrs.


      Neicy, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mysticalpatterns wrote Apr 14, 2011
    • I actually get this question a lot working with couples (usually from the women) and I tell them this.  If marriage is important to you, you need to set a timeline PERIOD.  Relationships can work with or without marriage but if one person wants it and the other is avoiding it then you really are creating a situation for tension.  It is a very fundamental goal that you need to be on the same page (regardless of what side of the coin that is).  Usually the meaning behind the do/don’t has so much more depth than the wedding itself and that wherein lies the problem.  Most of the time the lack of decision is really about control & power.  “If you loved me you would show me with the commitment of marriage” or “If you love & trust me a piece of paper doesn’t prove anything“.  Either way both parties are seeking control.

      The truth is approx 50% of all 1st marriages fail - so really that piece of paper doesn’t show how committed you are.  When it comes down to the actual wedding, it really is only an announcement to those around you what you know yourself already.  Whether it lasts or not (thus was a true long term commitment) really is up to the individuals regardless of the ceremony or a piece of paper.

      Personally I have been married for 20+ yrs.  Our first date was in Sept. I moved 4 hrs from him the next month, moved in with him in Dec and got married in Feb (less than 5 mths).  But on the flip side I tell my daughters all the time a relationship isn’t about marriage, it is about what goes on between you two, the commitment, the honesty, the respect etc.  It is up to you to make it work, a wedding won’t do that for you.

      Love, Light & Blessings,
      heart Miss T heart
      “It’s never to late to become what you might have been” - George Elliot




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Apr 14, 2011
    • I don’t know it makes me go back to the bible concerning Sodom and Gomorrah no one wants to be committed in a marriage relationship these days the way God intended to be in the first place.




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Brimstone1968 wrote Apr 14, 2011
    • I often tell people and girlfriends that being married is an INVESTMENT OF MY TIIME.  A Marriage commitment is important to me so if you cannot make up your mind after 1-3 years of dating me then hit the road, sorry you cannot get my milk and meat for free, you have to pay the price, I am worth it.




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Apr 15, 2011
    • I was thinking 1-3 years also!




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