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I am in neeed of some FAB40 advise on clearing my mom’s house.

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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Apr 14, 2011
    • What kind of advice?

      One room at a time. Haul the things that you don’t want to keep to salvation army or have them pick it up.




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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Brimstone1968 wrote Apr 14, 2011
    • My brother and I will be travelling back to the Islands in about 3 weeks and the sole purpose is to clean out the house and get the house ready to be rented.  Now, I was born at that house, my mom passed away their in the bedroom that I once had.  That house holds so much precious memories for me.  My brother even though an Administrative Law Judge depends on me heavily for decision making in matters like these.  It is only the two of us as siblings and our dad.  Whem my mom passed he waited on me to make every single move.  

      My question really is has anyone dealt with having to clean out your parents belonings?  I just want to get a handle on what to expect or some emotions you faced.  I just feel it is going to be so hard.  I am dreading the exercise.  Thanks.




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    • +3 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Apr 14, 2011
    • Brimstone I know what you mean as well as knowing how you feel after my moms demise my siblings and I weren’t speaking and they took it upon themselves to clear out my moms home and her stuff so I never got anything that belonged to her, but as Yana has said take it one room at a time and those things that are valuble to you keep if your other siblings agree and the rest if necessary split between you all and the rest donate to charity or give to a salvation army place or the likes and get a reciept to claim on your taxes.




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    • +3 votes vote up vote up

      Brimstone1968 wrote Apr 14, 2011
    • I was just here sitting and you know what we get so much things over our lifetime and then we go leave them.  My mom have so many nice pyrex dishes, glass wares etc.  We cannot travel back to the US with them, the postage back to the US will kill us, we will have to part with them.  A thought came to me I could give them to the kitchen at her Church.  I am already feeling sad over the whole cleaning exercise and the time is not here yet.




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Apr 14, 2011
    • Follow your heart and God’s lead that sounds like a wonderful idea to me and all that they don’t need you can give to a local soup kitchen or shelter and I know they will appreciate them, I know its hard but with God he will make each day a little brighter.




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Apr 14, 2011
    • Brimstone here is what my mom told me before she passed....

      “Don’t let the oldest just up and throw everything away and don’t let the middle keep everything as mementos.

      Sell what you can and donate what you can but in both cases get receipts for tax purposes.

      Not everything will have value and meaning to you girls so throw away the junk that you don’t want, donate or sell.

      And keep in mind NOTHING I have is worth fighting over with family.”

      My mom was pretty wise...... We know who has what and we share with each other if we want something like her pictures, jewelry music or whatever we kept.

      My advice after going thru it is to follow my moms advice and if someone in the family wants something just let them have it. They may have unresolved issues with their relationship with your mom that they NEED the stuff.  

      For me my memories is enough.....




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Apr 15, 2011
    • Brimstone,
      I went with through this with my MIL’s and FIL’s things.  I kept a couple of colectibles and kitchen items for myself to remember her by and also chose some teacups, jewelry, and a Hummel statue to save for my daughter who was only two at the time. We held a garage sale and sold about $1000 worth of things. Then gave some things to neighbors, other relatives, and sold some antiques to dealers in town. I also kept a few photos and some genealogy work that my MIL had done.  The rest was donated.  They will bring a van to the house to pick things up.14 years later I am happy with what I kept.  It is enough.

      My mom passed away 3 years ago and my dad still lives in their house.  He gave my daughter and I some of her scarves and purses. He put her jewelry in a safe deposit box. I’ve noticed that most of the houseplants are gone now and a few of the knick knacks have been packed away.  This might be similar to your situation in that I am so old now that some of the things I wanted growing up I would have no use for now. For example my mom and dad have the most beautiful Rosenthal china with trees painted in gold on it.  But what would I do with it now? I rarely have guests and never for the formal occasions. So maybe go with the old saying of only keep it if it is beautiful or useful.  No matter how you try to prepare yourself, you are in for a very sad and painful experience and my heart goes out to you.heart

      If you can arrange for the garage sale, I am hoping that you will make enough to be able to have shipped the things you most want to hold on to.  And Vikki is so right- nothing is worth fighting over.  Also I would suggest taking a keepsake for each of the grandchildren like a piece of jewelry or a Christmas ornament.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Apr 15, 2011
    • My heart goes out to youheart ...I dread doing this someday.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Apr 15, 2011
    • I just realized your dad is still alive so some of what I wrote won’t be relevant!




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Apr 15, 2011
    • I have not been thru this and my heart goes out to you.

      I do have one word of advice.  Before you just haul all the clothes to charity or throw them out, check the pockets.  I know of a family who threw away most their mother’s clothes after a severe fire in her house.  The inadverdently threw away thousands of dollars worth of jewelry she had stashed in the pockets.  They had no idea.  I also knew a woman who would stash money in books in the bookcase.  Take the time to go thru things properly.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Brimstone1968 wrote Apr 15, 2011
    • Ladies, ladies, ladies, I deeply appreciate all the suggestions, everyone I have taken to heart and I will be putting a plan forward with all the information I have.  You will not know how this has helped me.  When you are still in a fog with things like this you need all the sensible help you can get.  I sincerely appreciate all the suggestions.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Apr 15, 2011
    • Brimstone I understand that fog you‘re talking about frown




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote Apr 16, 2011
    • I didn’t read all the posts so forgive me if i repeat.  My neighbor passed away and left all of her things to her church for the needy or so they could sell them and put the money to use in the church that had helped her so.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote Apr 16, 2011
    • Tulip! I just peeked through and you are very wise to suggest that!!!!heart




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