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Cathie had mentioned she was going through a bad divorce and using an attorney. Brought back a lot of bad memories of an attorney I had when I was going through divorce. Lets just say my first X of which I had an attorney hates me very badly and my second X which I represented myself we have a great friendship. Hope all goes well for you Cathie. These times can be very tough.
My attorney was pure evil. Looking back now, i can see a myriad of ways in which he did not look after my best interests! I was basically going it alone when i got divorced. I should have brought a friend or family member with me so that i would not have been bullied into signing a terrible agreement instead of waiting for the judge to decide. Lawyers cost so much, though, it’s hard switching to a new one when yours is doing a poor job. My ex, who inherited a lot of money, but had a poor job gave me and my daughter nothing except a measly amount of child support!
Good luck Cathie! Hold out for what you deserve!
I couldn’t afford an attorney with my son’s dad (common law marriage & still had to get a divorce) so I went to the library, found a divorce decree copied it, added what I needed to in it and filed it for $50. This was more than 20 years ago but it worked for the time.
I actually am an advocate of mediators. They work for both sides so they have no vested interest in either side. They help couples work out something that is more balanced and generally more fair.
But if you can do it yourself, I say go for it! Many Attorneys tend to Way overcharge and don’t often listen to what their clients want, but more what they think they can get out of the other person or on the flip side they do as little as possible, while dragging it out as long as possible to get more billing hours.
I’m not ‘against’ Attorney’s in general, I just think there are a lot of greedy and/or lazy ones out there that give them all a bad name!
Love, Light, & Blessings
Miss T
“It’s Never to Late to Become What You Might Have Been” - George Elliot
Oh my gosh!! I am so glad I asked this question I feel the same way as catfan. That is exactaly what happend to me. I felt like my attorney was working for my X and not me. I could not get him to listen to me and it was over 5,000 dollars down the drain. I found it so much easier to do it all myself. I had no idea how bad attorney’s can be. I have nothing against attorney’s just the ones who shouldn’t be practicing law.
Hi Tstreets,
My attorney makes me proud of her. ;oD My being in a desperate situation with being disabled and thinking about my future after all the years I put in with the X, so I actually looked for a female attorney strong on women’s rights. I don’t recommend handling the divorce proceedings without an attorney when there’s property and/or a business jointly owned involved.
I filed for divorce myself from my 1st husband and we agreed on everything so we had no problem. I had my health, we agreed on our childrens well being, we had no disputes on community property, we had no community property. He signed the papers because we had been friendly the 13 years of separation till I filed for divorce. I actually had a larger income than him and he didn’t want any of it.
I don’t care if my X hates me because I get my fair share. He’s a very self centered “Me” person I put up with and made allowances for that didn’t influence him to grow a heart.
If not for me he wouldn’t have all this to fight over, and he still has his health to make more money while I don’t. This takes an attorney!
The choice of mine was actually “interviewing” her before I hired her. I recommend it. If you don’t like the attorney in the interview, go in search for a better one!
Cathie
Unfortunately A LOT of attorneys “know each other” and IMO, draw it out so both parties end up giving so much of their $$$ to them. My current husband talked his last wife into using the same attny. Can you believe it? He told her they can settle it and he’d be fair or they can give it all to attorney’s. She threatened to take 1/2 of his business so he told her “fine, you can have the entire business“, he then told her “I’ll just open another” knowing she knew nothing of the business. Anyways, her boyfriend was pushing her to take him to the cleaners. IMO, he was more than fair with what he paid her.
I’m rambling......my attny for my divorce, it’s actually a blur. I couldn’t even tell you his name. But when I walked in the courtroom to have it finalized I saw him and my soon to be x’s atty. chatting it up and smiling. I could have just died!
OMG, I wrote my reply before the rest of yours came up. How seriously scary to place your life in the hands of someone else in the legal field that totally ignores your best interests. I know there some lazy attorneys, and then there’s ones like the X’s that goes along with him and his wishes that won’t fly in court, like today.
My attorney tells me that the X’s attorney is basically a good person. I don’t see it and it’s a subject we’ll have to agree to disagree on. ;oD Today one argument in court was that the X worried there was damage to the house from my animals. This is like the X accusing me of forging checks on his bank account... a desperate grasping at straws to discredit me for reasons to divorce me in the first place. It’s California, we don’t need a reason except ... I don’t want to be married anymore. It’s the community property share that makes it ugly when fairness fails.
Cathie
I have some friends that just went through a divorce. They both agreed to everything without exception, yet the wife’s attorney (husband didn’t have one) kept drawing it out, would not help them to get the papers finished & kept making excuses for meetings to bill them more. Finally she just fired him and they hired a legal mediator who took very little time to complete the paperwork, yet made sure everything was done fairly & much more cost effectively.
Love, Light & Blessings, Miss T.
“It’s Never to Late to Become What You Might Have Been” - George Elliot
My attorney actually told me that i did not owe the remainder of the bill if i signed the agreement that was drafted by me ex’s attorney. I’m sure he was paid off by my ex’s attorney. I think when you‘re wanting to break free of a miserable marriage you are very vulnerable
.
Hi Anne,
My attorney intends for me to be repaid for her fees I’ve paid her by the X. If she wasn’t my attorney in this, she’d scare me more than the X could with his harassing calls. ;oD
My attorney would scare me if she were his attorney. LOL But he wouldn’t hire a woman and I think it good I did.
There’s not usually anything about divorce that isn’t vulerable.
Cathie
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