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Ok need your honest opinion. Scenario: My hubby has a cousin who lives in Cleveland Ohio and he and his wife will be here today for the weekend and his family is having a cookout and want us to come over as well to see them. Ok here is the thing, the cousin is an alcoholic and his wife is a basket case in denial of her hubby’s sickness. I personally don’t care to go, why would I want to sit amongst a drunk and an insane woman when in fact I’ve been feeling a bit loopy in the head myself lol? No seriously he is a drunk I don’t care if he is coming to town he is not a celebrity, but a drunk am I being unfair or insensitive in not wanting to go?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jun 17, 2011
    • Well....you could always just drop by...stay a few minutes...don’t eat with them...speak...and say we can’t stay but wanted to come by and speak.  Make up some excuse..you have some things you have to take care of or something has come up.  You really don’t have to explain anything.  Or...you might not realy feel good to stay...happy.

      If this is going to be unpleasant visit then keep it short then they can’t say you didn’t come see them..etc...you know..all the reasons they will give.
      Where the bbq is...is it far from where you live?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jun 17, 2011
    • Hi Mary well first off my hubby is NOT going to go and just leave he will saty until the cows come home this is why I don’t want to go because he is a talker and will sit and sit and sit running his mouth lol. They live in Madison Heights which is about 45 minutes or so from where we are.
      My hubby already knows I don’t want to go and has asked me again have I reconsidered which I haven’t he is trying to get me to go and I don’t want to go and now that the g-baby is here with us he wants to take her and show her off and she definitely can’t go if I’m not going his family can be a trip at times and his mom made a comment once when my g-baby was there just because she didn’t want to hug her son-inlaw, she DIDN‘T know him! but anyhow I just hope he can understand that we‘re not planning on going.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Jun 17, 2011
    • Tell your hubby to go and have fun and if you‘re feeling up to it, you’ll stop by for a few minutes.  Your health issues give you the perfect excuse not to spend much time there.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jun 17, 2011
    • Thanks Tulip will do, and hope he understands, but if not he’ll just have to and get over it!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jun 17, 2011
    • I don’t know Neicy! This is a tough one. If it was me I would go make an appearance for my hubz sake. I would go with the clear understanding that I would not be staying long. Especially if the conditions were ripe for drunken looniness. Then I would offer my hubz to go in 2 vehicles so he can stay longer if he wants.

      That way you have fulfilled any family obligations towards the hubz and be able to escape too.

      If my hubz didn’t like what I decided then I just wouldn’t go!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jun 17, 2011
    • Thanks Vikki, another reason why I don't want to go too is because I think they are goingto use this time as somewhat of an Intervention  session. My hubby and his family has talked about trying to reason with him and try to get him to see that he needs to get help for the sake of him family/marriage. I do understand that they want to see him get healthy and clean but nothing will happen until he gets tired and want it for himself I feel if his own wife can't get him to see this thing why would he see it though another persons opinion. He is dead set on drinking and has been doing so from what I know of for the past 10 years I've been in the family.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jun 17, 2011
    • Well if thats the case no way would I go and certainly not take the Gbaby!!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dori Robinson wrote Jun 17, 2011
    • It sounds as if you have already made your decision...and there is nothing wrong with that.  It isn’t as if you are skipping out on a family wedding or a graduation.  This is a bbq.  And if it is going to turn into a bbq slash intervention slash free-for-all, I wouldn’t even drive by!  

      I hope your husband can respect your views on this, especially if you tell him he is free to go and enjoy his evening!!  

      Cheers.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote Jun 17, 2011
    • Neicy, the older I get the more stingy I am with my time.  If I don’t want to attend something then I don’t.  Especially when you work all week and it’s going to take up your entire day off.  If your hubby wants you to real bad maybe you could go in seperate cars that way you can leave after saying hello and visiting a few minutes and he can stay as long as he wants.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kyah wrote Jun 17, 2011
    • I get the ‘your family is my family’ stuff when people are married, but you are still your own person and if you don’t want to go, don’t. Find someplace for you and your grand child to go and enjoy yourselves. Let him go and partake in this so-called intervention/BBQ alone.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote Jun 17, 2011
    • I agree with Tulip. Good luck!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Frannie1964 wrote Jun 17, 2011
    • I agree with Angelcart.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jun 17, 2011
    • I agree...you don’t have to go..and you certainly do not need to be there with your granddaughter for a so call intervention. Since it’s 45 min away...I wouldn’t even bother going and making an appearance and going in two cars.  Gas is too high for all that.  

      Let your hubby go and you and your sweet granddaughter enjoy the day. This man has to want help..if he doesn’t..they are wasting their time!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jun 17, 2011
    • Thanks ladies, I told my hubby again that I nor the gbaby is going to tag along with him and he is fine with it, whew! He has even said he wasn’t going to stay too long himself because he wanted to do something with me and the g-baby this weekend seeing we both have to work Sunday and she will be going home tomorrow evening, so it all worked out in my favor, thanks again ladies.hearthappy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mindy Wilson wrote Jun 18, 2011
    • I’d go as early as possible and visit. When things begin to turn foggy for the cousin, I’d leave. I might even state my intentions right off.  

      “We care for you and it’s not a secret that you have a drinking problem. We’d love to visit but I won’t do so when you are intoxicated....So, what’s on the BBQ?”

      Love Mindy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mindy Wilson wrote Jun 18, 2011
    • P
      S....I think you chose to do the best thing! I didn’t take note of the distance. You and your g-baby have a special day!
      Mindy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Monay wrote Jun 18, 2011
    • Sometimes you have stand by your decision.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Jun 18, 2011
    • I’m glad it worked out!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Jun 19, 2011
    • So happy to hear it worked in your favor!




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