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Benefits
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In light of Mother’s Day last month, and Father’s Day last weekend - Did you grow up well BECAUSE of their parenting, or IN SPITE of their parenting?
I most definitely grew up well due to their GOOD parenting. My parents both had great values and morals. They taught my sisters and I how to do for others and how to be grateful. And because of that we (my sisters and I) have instilled that in our own children.
I’m going to say both!
My parents were flawed and their relationship was flawed so I grew up to be who I am in spite of that. But also because my parents were flawed they did not judge so I grew up like them because of them!!
Vikki
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definitely because of my parents. now dh-as my sil put it while she was in therapy: we grew up inspite and despite our parents.
how true. hard to be raised by narcisstic, selfish, delusional fools.
A little of both.
We were raised with good morals and a good work ethic, but my parents were terribly critical and judgemental as well.
Tulip
Because of them. My mother taught me how to keep going even though things get bad and my father taught me about hard work making you better. Both of them taught me about unconditional love. No matter what I did and do I know that they will always be there for me.
Both for me too, and because of other adults I had in my life. ;oD
Cathie
In spite of. I basically raised myself, they just kept a roof over my head.
In spite of. Mainly mom was verbally abusive and the love was conditional.
I would say “in spite of” - lol! I sometimes think I raised myself. Have some fabulous childhood memories but mother was a teen-ager and was growing up at the same time.
Definitely because of as my mom raised us herself and instilled many wonderful traits. My sister and I are loving, compassionate, detail-oriented, reliable women. Now the lack of a father in the home did leave us vulnerable to many leeches (bad people), but through our mom’s determination and help we came out stronger than ever.
Like so many of you, I would have to say both as well. My parents did so many wonderful things for us...but my mom was also very hard on us. My mom grew up on “the wrong side of the tracks” and was determined that her four daughters would be GOOD GIRLS. She went a little over the top with it at times, and I have promised myself that I will not make the same mistakes with my daughters.
Anonymous
There are some very interesting/wonderful/saddening answers here.
I would say for me that it is more “in spite of” than “because of”
When I was very young, I think our family worked very well together, however by the time I hit middle school, my family was deteriorating and my parents were too absorbed in their own problems/issues to be any help to my brother and I. It’s just unfortunate because it has caused me to keep my relationship with my parents as very casual to this day. I don’t feel like I can trust them as I would like to because they weren’t there for me when I needed them to be parents - NOT friends.
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