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Scenario: This happened today at work, ok I went to the second floor to retrieve my blood pressure machine and there was this young lady standing near the desk, ok so up walks this young man who is also a caregiver and he stood by her for a brief moment and swiftly moved away from her with a awful look on his face. The young lady proceeded to go care for her resident, as soon as she was out of site everyone present began to talk about her, she had a terrible body odor from what they told me and he got a good wiff of it LOL. Ok well instead of talking about her I feel she need to be told, I know if it were me I’d want someone to pull me to the side and share with me, what are your thoughts on this because I want to speak to her about it but with a positive apporoach?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Jul 3, 2011
    • We had a man working with us who had this problem.  My friend, Pat, shared an office with him. She ended up putting a brown paper bag on his desk which had a stick of deodorant in it and an anonymous note nicely explaining about the problem.

      The Secret Clinical Strength deodorant for women is the best.  I would probably do the anonymous note/deodorant thing and hope that it worked.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jul 3, 2011
    • I would just pull her aside and let her know a few residents noticed she wasn’t always fresh smelling. It may have just been a bad day bit if it is a common thing I would tell her!!!




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Jul 3, 2011
    • Neicy, I hope somebody pulls her aside and gently tells her she stinks to hell and back again, and explains the value of regular personal hygiene to her. If she’s not homeless and living out of her car, there’s no reason for her to smell bad. She can get a box of baking soda and pat some in her arm pits to eliminate oder. Of course there’s some people that think their personal stench is “natural“. OMG, they are so wrong! LOL  

      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Jul 3, 2011
    • I think you have to say something to her.  What she chooses to do after that is up to her.  

      We all get used to our own personal smell, whether it’s the perfume we wear or the lack of bathing or whatever.  Our nose gets used to ourself and we don’t notice what we smell like as much as other people do.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jul 4, 2011
    • It’s really embarrassing for the person (if they truly do not know they smell badly) and for the person having to tell them.  But they do need to be told.  Depending on the situation, the work environment, the person being told, would determine HOW they were told.  If giving them a bag of soap, deodorant, and whatever else and an anon. note....then do it.  But if telling them face to face in private is better...then do what is best.  

      Just wondering....but would a supervisor be willing to address this issue?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Jul 4, 2011
    • I wouldnt be the one to tell her, but I also wouldnt want to be close to her....




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda L wrote Jul 4, 2011
    • I would follow the advice from many of you. The worst thing to do is continuously talk about her body odor and moving away from her, so as Maryclark said someone such as her supervisor should bring it up to her.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jul 4, 2011
    • @Mary Clark, the supervisor’s are the one’s too making fun of her now if you‘re meaning someone higher up like in administration they are not aware of it!

      I also found out today that she is having some really bad problems with her husband he is abusive and the reason she is smelly is because he is so cruel and mean to her where she leaves and parks on the street someplace and sleeps in her car. She is not able to bathe because she can’t go home, I was told her family doesn’t deal with her because of the husband but I feel it they knew what she was going through they may have a change of heart.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Jul 4, 2011
    • Thats very sad Neicy, I hope things improve for her and soon!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Jul 4, 2011
    • Poor thing!  Does your work place have a shower that she could use?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jul 4, 2011
    • Now that you have found this out about her abusive husband...that changes everything.  If she is being abused I certainly would talk to her and remind her that she doesn’t have to stay in that relationship.  I would probably go as far as offering to let her bathe at your house or rent a hotel room for to spend the night in to get a break from him...bathe...and maybe get a good night’s rest.  Are there women’s shelters in the area she could go to?  

      More than anything..she needs to get out of an abusive relationship.  That is really sad.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jul 4, 2011
    • And those supervisors...well...they are not good supervisors if that is the behavior they are displaying especially in front of people below them.  In my book...they would be the ones to be fired!!! Very unprofessional!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Jul 5, 2011
    • Oh how awful for her, Neicy! I’m sorry to hear it and I’m sorry, but her family deserting her because of him is dumb! Surely one of them has a friend he doesn’t know that she could go to? Or a women’s shelter? She sure sounds like she needs some help! Tell her about the baking soda, it’s a cheap inexpensive way to neutralize arm pit odor.  

      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jul 5, 2011
    • If I were there...I would just make her a goody bag with personal hygeine items.  Will he not let her bathe at home?  And I don’t get the family deserting her either.  But at the same time...she has to WANT TO GET OUT OF IT.  Some people get comfortable in situations even when they are bad because of being scared to go into the unknown.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Jul 5, 2011
    • Mary, I think it’s they become to fearful to leave, fearing worse than what they live with.  

      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Jul 5, 2011
    • That is a tough situation.  IMO, the police need to be called by an anonymous person and she needs to file a report against him..but I guess, some women are afraid of repercussions.  I like Mary’s answer...get a bag and fill it with some personal items and either gently talk with her or go to the top administration and let them handle the situation, but that poor woman needs help..and I wonder if she could shower somewhere in the facility that you work in.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jul 5, 2011
    • Mary..that is what I was thinking.  If I were a supervisor I would be finding a place she could shower.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jul 5, 2011
    • Hi Ladies and thank you all for your responses, well I went to her today. I went to the second floor and told her supervisor that I needed to see her, when she was available she came to my unit maybe 15 minutes later and I took her into the spa room and closed us both in there and I asked her if she was ok? She said yes I told her that if there was anything she wanted to share with me she could, but I needed to bring something to her attention, and I told her that “it was said that you have a bad body odor and it is very offensive to some people around you here and I’m coming to you in love and not to hurt your feelings or to make you feel bad, it was brought to my attention and I felt like I needed to share this with you.” She just stood looking at me and began to cry a bit but then I said to her its ok if you need to talk I’m here for you, but I just wanted you to know so you could take care of it and she said ok and we left out the spa she went to her floor and I went back to work. I hope she takes it in a positive way and does something about it, as for those no good sorry co-workers of ours shame on them and their supervisors.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jul 5, 2011
    • Good for you Neicy.  I’m glad you were able to talk to her and just by reading what you said it was in a loving way.  I hope if she needs to talk she will feel comfortable enough to talk to you.  You never know ...that body odor might be what makes her seek help or helps her get out of a bad situation.  I believe God puts people in our paths to help us see the light or to give us direction.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kyah wrote Jul 5, 2011
    • Nicely done, Neicy. There has to be somewhere in the facility where she can shower and put on fresh clothes. I have a feeling this is only part of the situation and may escalate to the point where she will be afraid to go any where near him.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jul 6, 2011
    • Hi Mary/Kyah, one only hopes that my talk helped her come to terms with whatever she is dealing with but if need be I will assist her in getting bathe on my unit at work where the spa room is I will allow her to go in and wash without anyone knowing she is there. I just pray things get better for her.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Jul 6, 2011
    • Me too, Neicy. And I’m so glad you are there to help her.  

      Hugs,
      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jul 6, 2011
    • Thank you Cathie it is so sad at how there are so many cruel people still walking the face of this earth. But I am a firm believer in reaping what you sow.




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