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anonymous Anonymous

Q & A

If someone that wronged you in the past asked for forgiveness several years after doing so, would you forgive them?
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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Daphne wrote Jul 7, 2011
    • There’s a difference between forgiving and forgetting.  As my father would say, “forgiveness is a gift you give yourself“.  Someone asking for my forgiveness is asking me for something I can not give them unless i’ve already forgiven them.  I’m not inspired to forgive someone at his/her request.  It requires thought and time. If a person were to ask me to forgive them, the answer would either be, “i already have” or “no“...depending on my readiness.  

      I think if someone is asking you to forgive them, they are really asking you to trust them again...to trust that he/she won’t offend you again.  Trust is something that is earned...it is not a gift.  I don’t know about you, but i am quite slow to trust someone who has offended me or mine.

      Forgiving is something i am quite capable of doing...forgetting is not.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenesaispas wrote Jul 7, 2011
    • I look for the best in people.  Not liking to focus on the negatives in life, I would welcome it and let bygones be bygones and work to patch things up.  Dwelling on what happened several years ago, and reliving mistakes or wrongs has gotten me nowhere, and why should I live in the past?  Why make someone live with guilt if they truly regret their actions? If they are willing to make up for what they’ve done, I think forgiveness is in order.




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Jul 7, 2011
    • Honestly, depends on what they did...




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Jul 7, 2011
    • forgive, sure...forget..no




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Jul 8, 2011
    • It would totally depend on the circumstances.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Jul 8, 2011
    • It would depend on the situation.  I would probably at least say I forgave them.  I read somewhere that saying “I forgive you” out loud is the first step to forgiving.

      Tulip




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jul 8, 2011
    • Been there done that! I have forgiven several people who have wronged me and it freed my spirit, but I’m sure they are still carrying the guilt of their wrong doing even though I forgave them, if you‘re able let it go for your own spiritual freedom trust me you’ll feel so much better in doing so.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jul 8, 2011
    • Forgiveness is what sets YOU free from whatever someone has done to you or said to you.  Forgiveness takes time......how long it takes varies from person to person.  

      Does that mean we forget what they did to us?  No...but when you DON‘T forgive it really is only hurting YOU..NOT THAT person.  Grudges and bitterness only holds YOU IN BONDAGE.  

      I did a study on forgiveness at church once.  Our pastor put it this way.  You know you have truly forgiven someone when you think of what they did or said to you and your temperature doesn’t rise.  

      You can forgive someone but that doesn’t mean you forget the wrong..you just know not to put yourself BACK in that situation AGAIN.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kmarie wrote Jul 8, 2011
    • I have actually had this experience and I choose to forgive. While we are not bff’s we are friendly polite and have spent sometime with each other. I have forgiven some and the outcome was different not as reconiled but I have forgiven them. I can not control others. Some we have become closer than we ever. It has been great




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angie Stephenson wrote Jul 8, 2011
    • Yes I would. When you forgive you are freed from the scars of they wrong they did to you; however if you fail to forgive, then that person still has a hold on you. So yes, I would forgive so that I can move on!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Jul 9, 2011
    • Sure, I will absolutely forgive.  It is not my place to judge someone’s hurtful actions, they will have to take that up with the Lord and it took me a long time to see this.  

      and I agree with you ladies, you never forget, you just move on.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Jul 9, 2011
    • I get where Daphne is coming from... with the person figuring if you forgive, then you are trusting them again. Trust broken isn’t easily given back, even if you accept and forgive, it won’t be the same relationship based on the orginal trust.  

      Not carrying anger around over a trust broken (forgiving) is always better for us. I prefer to forgive, but it doesn’t mean I will trust them again.  

      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jul 9, 2011
    • Great Question with a lot of excellent answers that I agree with.

      I don’t hold grudges I just try to choose smarter next time around.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Nita P wrote Jan 24, 2012
    • i would forgive but i would not forget and it would not instantly mean we are best buddies again




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Pamela Foley wrote Feb 19, 2013
    • Yes, you should forgive as to not be bitter. Should you continue the friendship? It depends on how egregious the circumstances were. Toxic friends need to go!




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