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Things have really deteoriated between my husband and my mother in law.  She is very rude and insulting to him and has also said bad stuff to me and our kids.  My husband has had enough.  He used to take it but now he’s tired of putting up with it.  So he has started to get nasty with her.  It is unfortunate that it has gotten to this point.  She doesn’t like me and has NO relationship with her grandkids which is very sad since we only live 20 minutes away.  Any suggestions on dealing with this?  My husband has tried talking to her politely on several occasions to no avail.  She also has had falling-outs with several of her own siblings too.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jul 28, 2011
    • I agree with what MoSher has to say. It takes all parties involved to WANT to be part of a family and make it work. Either she isn’t interested in family or there is something medically wrong with her.
      heart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Allinet48 wrote Jul 28, 2011
    • heartSome people are toxic to your life. It is your choice if you want to be infected.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Daphne wrote Jul 28, 2011
    • I’m with Allinet!  I wouldn’t even give her an explanation...she will know why you aren’t talking to her, returning phone calls, visiting, etc.  While she my not agree, deep down she will KNOW why.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Monay wrote Jul 28, 2011
    • Sorry for your troubles but it sounds like she has issues within herself that she really need to look at. Leave her alone and just be there when she is ready to be a supportive mother and grandmother.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Gardenchic wrote Jul 29, 2011
    • i for one know how you feel!!!!,,, my mother in law has 3 sons,,,,, and she is not in good shape,,, we do it all, they have nothing to do with her anymore cause she can be so mean and nasty!, she cannopt walk on her own, and will not move to town, she sits on 3 lots of waterfront,,, we have to cut the lawn,,,,, we are there all the time, and noone helps, not one soul!,, when the father died,,,, noone had anything to do with that either but us,,, well i for one am getting tired of doing it all, it is a 45 min drive and we have NO LIFE!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote Jul 29, 2011
    • Diane, sorry to hear this.  I can’t really say because my ex MIL and my current one is great.  I guess I would have to say just “leave her be“.  Don’t call her or if she calls and get’s rude quickly tell her you need to go for whatever reason.  Hopefully she’ll come around some day.  But, it will have to on her terms as far as when she decides to turn things around I believe.  I can only imagine how difficult the situation would be.  Best of luck to you and your family.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Jul 29, 2011
    • I feel bad for you, Diane. Obviously you would like your mil to have a better relationship with your family, but it’s not sounding like it’s not going to happen. Maybe you could talk to your hubby gently about distancing yourselves from his mother?  

      Everybody wants to be loved by their family, but some family members don’t have it in them for whatever reason. It sounds also like this is nothing new. If it was you’d both be hauling her to the doctor’s for tests, so acceptance of the reality and getting out of her (anger) range is all I can think of. Sorry, Sweetie!  

      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Diane17 wrote Jul 29, 2011
    • Thanks for the advice and support everyone!  I know I’m not the only one who has gone through this.  I choose not to deal with her but I feel bad for my husband.  Plus it really stinks because she is the only family we have close to us.  I have no one from my side living close by.

      Honestly, we think she is bipolar or something because her daughter is bipolar.  Yet she tells her daughter to get off the meds!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Aug 1, 2011
    • So sorry to hear this!  I am happy for others who have great relationships with their in-laws and I am fortunate to have a great mom and step-dad that love my husband like their own.

      My MIL was problematic in the past, until I gave her the “cold shoulder” for a long, long time and now our relationship has gotten better..she is still distant, but cordial to both her son (my hub) and me.

      Sounds like your MIL needs help!




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