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Do you find it hard to please your parents?  Do you find that they are dissatisfied with you no matter what?
I just feel that way with mine.  They are lovely parents but nothing I do seem to get any kind of recognition or sincere appreciation for.  Guess because of their culture and upbringings.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Aug 17, 2011
    • They will say nice things about me behind my back and they will never say anything good about me in front of me.  On the contrary, they once in awhile will pop up something that hurts me deep inside. I forgive them.  I let them slide off my back but sometimes, my feelings are hurt and wounded.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda L wrote Aug 17, 2011
    • Yes, Chinadoll my parents are the same as yours. They are so proud of my brother and always aknowledge his accomplishments, but never mine. I’m a single parent and raised my daughter well and they are so proud of her, but I don’t ever get credit for it. In my younger years my mom had said so many hurtful things and when I bring it up she is in denial. I think it’s an Asian thing and they don’t seem to realize it wounds us. My dad and I get along fine, but feelings are hurtful with mom. I can only accept their ways.

      All the best to you.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Aug 17, 2011
    • I don’t know if it’s cultural or not. I was fortunate and didn’t have this issue. On the other hand my parents didn’t raise me to please them but to make sure I was happy doing whatever I was doing.

      So sorry CD that you are feeling this way heart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Aug 17, 2011
    • No girls it’s not an Asian thing.  My parents are the same way.  They were always super critical when I was young and mom hasn’t mellowed much at all.  As dad has gotten older he’s less critical and more accepting.  They too brag up my brother (who btw has cut them out of his life!).  My mom can’t or won’t ever focus on the positive.  It’s very hurtful, but I guess we‘re not going to change them now.  I can only hope I don’t do the same thing to my kids.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cc-u wrote Aug 17, 2011
    • My dear neighbor was just talking to me about this very thing.  Her mom & stepdad are halfway thru a monthlong visit & she Is going out of her mind.  I wish I could do more than just listen.  She was so upset.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Aug 18, 2011
    • My mother was critical of all of us kids. She was a “the glass is half empty” individual. She
      wasn’t a happy person with herself so I didn’t expect her to be happy with us kids. She had my sympathy though, I feel she missed out on a lot of happiness.  

      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Connie Wray wrote Aug 19, 2011
    • Cathie and others who had comments alike. My family was highly disfunctional.I know that now. My mom always praised my brother and put down my sister in front of me but put me down in front of my sister.I thought something was horribly wrong with me. When I married a handsome man, my one aunt,grandma and my mom couldn’t believe I landed such a good catch! They kept telling me someone would steal him from me,so “Don’t be leaving him alone and go on trips to see them in Michigan!” I was always insecure,my whole life! All because my mom was so unhappy in her own life! I also forgave her. She had a bad life and upbringing.It wasn’t until I had more life experience that I came to realise so much. My husband DID end up leaving me for someone else,28 years later!! I had always been over weight and at his beck and call.When I lost alot of weight,he left me for a fat woman...wierd! I now know what freedom is. My parents/grand parents are all gone. Sometimes I feel sad about that but for the most part I feel free.Kind of sad huh? Connie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Aug 19, 2011
    • Connie, that’s why we‘re here... to talk about such things in our life that can make us or break us, and share how we’ve healed against all odds. ;oD  

      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Connie Wray wrote Aug 19, 2011
    • thanx Cathie.I have found great joy in my life. But at times,when things go wrong, I hear mom saying,“Why can’t you do anything right?!” I STILL get ILL when I have to do math because of the name calling and badgering I got as a small child. At the end of her life she admitted she kind of wasn’t the best mom. I instantly forgave her. She was raised the same way. I had one of my kids say to me,“I think you did good to spank our butts when we needed it“.I was shocked! I didn’t use corporal punishment the way my parents did and I have NEVER seen my kids use it to the extreme either. I’m proud to think I broke the trend. Connie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jewelrybyirina wrote Aug 19, 2011
    • Hi girls,
      my parents are the same as yours:)
      I can’t even go to details- too paintful to talk about.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Aug 20, 2011
    • Hi Irina,

      I hope someday it stops being painful for you and you can let go by the wayside.  

      Hugs,
      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Connie Wray wrote Aug 20, 2011
    • All we can do is change the trend. I know there’s help for people on mom.com sites. When things get hairy and you start doing things to the kids that our parents did,it’s time to talk to other parents to get some perspective.
      Good luck, Connie




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