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Q & A

Is there any good/proven (haha) way to deal with the feelings of mistrust that a man has from a previous relationship?  

Perhaps once someone is cheated on so badly they can not ever trust fully again?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Aug 31, 2011
    • I think it’s definitely a hurdle to get over in a new relationship. But, I also believe that time will eventually build trust and make someone believe that history will not repeat itself.




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Saylor101 wrote Aug 31, 2011
    • But how frustrating to be “judged” or viewed w/the “history” of someone else.  My stance has been to trust until given reason not to...hasn’t always worked out well - but it is who I am...  

      In the spirit of that comment I understand and appreciate others reluctance once hurt, but wonder if they realize how those underlying feelings can hender or even totally cripple a chance for success in the current relationship.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Aug 31, 2011
    • You just have to keep showing and reminding him that you are not that other person.

      You also  need to be supportive and understanding as he works thru those trust issues.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Sep 1, 2011
    • It depends on you and how you walk into the new relationship if you‘re going to csrry old bagage with you then you can expectthe same from the old relationship. Sometime we cause the same mistakes in our new relationships by holding on to the hurts and not giving the new person a proven chance to show their true love to us.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Saylor101 wrote Sep 1, 2011
    • I believe that Scot is reluctant to allow anyone to love him fully.  We dated in our 20’s, now we’ve come full circle 20+ years later.  

      He knows I AM NOT The person that hurt him ...He knows ME - that I love unconditionally, with great passion and care, that my loyalty is to the best interest of All things ... I believe he sees my confidence, friendliness, and independence as reasons to “worry” and tends to lean toward sabotage when things are really good - - as a protection or preservation mode perhaps..?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Sep 3, 2011
    • I wouldn’t have the patience to deal with it for long. As MoSher pointed out, sometimes it’s an excuse to maintain a distance and have control over you to appease their own jealousy and insecurities.  

      Cathie




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Saylor101 wrote Sep 3, 2011
    • I don’t disagree with you Mosher. . . basic/bottom line is life is too short and goes way too fast to be unhappy-I want everyone to be happy - but that has to start with ME... I“m more then willing to offer assurance a time or two, proven through actions, presentation and words but am not going to “walk on eggshells” daily... not an example I would want to set for my boys anyhow.

      xo

      Super happy weekend wishes to you all




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Melanie Morgan wrote Oct 16, 2011
    • I feel that it hinders a relationship if it continues over a period of time.  If the man constantly mistrusts you and you are trustworthy, have proven yourself to be so, and he is still very insecure and distrustful and jealous there is no way the relationship can last with this hanging over it. I am dating a man like this and he was badly burned by his ex wife, and is constantly bringing that up and also imagining things that I am doing that did not happen. I am seriously losing my patience and do not think this relationship is going to last. I have tried to talk with him about it, but he shutdowns and refuses to deal with it.




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