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I need advice on how to move forward.My sis and I decided I’d move south to be closer to her. Sis and her husband asked about putting a mother in-law apartment in the basement. Reluctantly I agreed. In the mean time, I was badly injured and so I was unable to pack up my property as planned.(this was a rented home.) I had no car and was unable to work. Sis loaned me the money for a car but wouldn’t allow me to choose it.(she went and bought one.) In the mean time the transmission went out and she loaned me $ to get it fixed. What has happened since is I found out she had me paying double on utilities and told me once I got my insurance settlement she would raise my rent. It was agreed from the start that I’d pay what ever her mortgage rate went up. She will triple her home value and I’m GLAD to help eventhough I won’t see a penny of the money I pay for rent. The problem is we agreed I would pay the increase in her mortgage. There are 2 of them but only 1 of me. Sis thinks I should pay more than we agreed if I get $ from a settlement. I get a tiny amount of pension,WAY under $800 and after paying her close to $400 I have car insurance,gas, pet food, cable,medicine AOL and food. Right now I don’t have enough money for even a bus to go to Pa. for my son’s wedding. The almost 1/2 tank of gas I have is all I can afford. I’m not released to work and have had 3 surgeries with more in the future. Am I a bitch cuz I told sis I wasn’t paying 50%? I had a talk with her and she feels I should pay more cuz I’m home all day. I agreed to pay 40% on electric. I feel terrible that our relationship is now strained. My first thought is to take the $ when I get it and run but that would leave her holding the bag for the extra mortgage payment. There’s alot of other awful things she said to me that hurt but I can deal with that on my own...it’s just the way sis is when her back is against the wall. Thanx for listening. If you say I’m the bitch I’ll accept that. If she’s the bitch,PLEASE give me ideas of what to say to defend my point. thnx, Connie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Necy wrote Sep 6, 2011
    • This is truly an unfortunate experience...you guys are sisters and it’s hard to deal with family matters. Sounds like you will be better off in your own place but on the other hand you sound very dependent on her. Make a list of your pros and cons of being there. It’s not worth the strain on your relationship or your health. Is there anywhere you can go and still be near her?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Connie Wray wrote Sep 6, 2011
    • Thnx,Necy. I hadn’t thought of a list. I do want to stay in this area.I’m leaning toward looking for a house for rent in this area once I get my settlement.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Butterflyrose wrote Sep 6, 2011
    • Being in a peaceful environment is important to your health and overall well-being.  You can have the best of both worlds by moving to your own haven and still be in close proximity to your sister.

      I pray that you and your sis can mend the fence real soon!

      An act of kindness is a gift given
      Butterflyrose




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Sep 7, 2011
    • Do some research.  Find out what a large room in a house in your neighborhood costs.  That’s what you should be paying your sister.  It’s got nothing to do with her mortgage increases.  You don’t need to live with the uncertainty of what your rent’s going to be from month to month.  Why are you paying 40% of electricity?  One third is sufficient. None of you is “the bitch“. Sounds like you‘re both in difficult financial situations and it is stressing you out. Did your sister invest money in getting the basement inhabitable? Please give her a decent amount of notice if you plan to move out (I don’t know where you live, but I couldn’t find anyplace to live for less than $400 here.)

      About the wedding, please ask your son for bus fare to go.  You‘re his mother! heartheart

      Good luck! heart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kyah wrote Sep 7, 2011
    • I’d get out as soon as possible, for your own well being. Let her rent the space out to someone and try to pull that nonsense on a non-related tenant.

      Your son should make sure you arrive for his wedding in style, bus, train, plane whatever.

      You‘re paying for AOL? I haven’t paid for AOL in years!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Sep 7, 2011
    • Connie I’m with Kyah on is!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Connie Wray wrote Sep 8, 2011
    • Thanx for the input ladies. Yes, my son’s dad is paying for the wedding as my sons fiancee is disabled and the economy has taken his job down to part time. My son is selling some things to get me the bus fare and one of my other kids is doing the same.As far as the mortgage increase, the bed room and bath was already finished but the main part of the living area was not. Sis took a loan out to pay for the renovations.My brother in-law is the contractor and does BEAUTIFUL work. I knew she was counting on me paying this so her home would be worth more when they sell. I had no problem with that.I agreed to pay 40% on electricity because I’m in the house 90% of the day so I do feel the higher electricity is my fault. Cat,you‘re right,you can’t find rent this low in a nice area. That’s what sis brought up as an excuse to charge me more on utilities. It’s my contention that principal and our former agreement is in play here.I feel a loss here and I am praying on the matter. In the past, when our mom was alive the way we resolved things was to ignore the problem, complain to everyone else in the family and let those people tell the other person what was said. After a while the problem went away. I AIN‘T playin that game! I’m not telling my brother or anyone else so it goes back to sis. That’s why I’m so grateful for the opportunity to vent here. LOL When rent comes due again I’m going to insist on seeing each of the utilities before I pay her.I hate doing that as she had said that what hurt her the most was that I went behind her back and that she “Honest to God was not making money off me!” Well...yah,you are! Her income,(she actually makes way more $ now than the last 10 years) now that she’s on SSN and still working part time plus her husband’s income is more than sufficent. She bought a $2,000 bike and a $13,000 camper this year. Also she paid $300 for an E reader at the time they first came out. She bought some kind of covection hot plate that cost 5 or $600, ALL with cash! In the mean time,I get $81 in food stamps. I need some of my pension for food. Right now,I am using powdered milk that I water down 50%, and the only meat is tuna or chicken. By the end of the month my fridge is empty. I’m sorry. I feel like I’m whinning,but I’m so grateful for the opportunity to gripe and get this off my chest. Whew... I feel SO much better! Thanx, ladies. Connie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Connie Wray wrote Sep 8, 2011
    • Kyah, Tell me about free AOL!




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