Don't have an account? To participate in discussions consider signing up or signing in
facebook connect
Sign-up, its free! Close [x]

Benefits

  • okay Create lasting relationships with other like minded women.
  • okay Blogging, let your voice be heard!
  • okay Interact with other women through blogs,questions and groups.
  • okay Photo Album, upload your most recent vacation pictures.
  • okay Contests, Free weekly prize drawing.
  • okay Weekly Newsletter.

Q & A

My ex-husband and I have a civil relationship...but somedays he will call, just to let me know how badly his life is. He keeps doing the same things over and over, as he did when we were married. Horrible financial choices. But now our Daughters are older, and they live with both of us, back and forth...they are 18 & 21. He has them so stressed out and worried...He inflicts this guilt on them, because he cant be a responsible adult...I dont know what to do or how to help my Daughters!? They love their Dad, I do not bad mouth him...but I cant stand to see them at the point of making themselves sick over his poor judgement!




Answer this See more Questions

View All Answers

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Oct 3, 2011
    • It’s a tough one. I think the best thing you can do is to point out to your daughters that their dad has made some bad decisions didn’t learn from his mistakes and continues to do so.

      That does’t make him a bad person, nor a bad father.l At 18 and 21 they should be old enough to understand and take it not as you are “bad mouthing him“, but rather explaining the situation trying to prevent heartache for them.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote Oct 3, 2011
    • Great input Yana!




            Report  Reply





            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carey Meredith wrote Oct 3, 2011
    • thank you...and yes I do agree, great advice. My oldest does understand...but the youngest is very defensive of her Dad. So, as my boyfriend says, they will see it, in time, how he really is. Just listen to them, is the best thing!




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Frannie1964 wrote Oct 3, 2011
    • Ditto to what Yana said.

      And I hope it works out in due time. Good luck heart




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Oct 3, 2011
    • Yana said exactly what I was going to say....and your boyfriend is right...they will see it in time and figure it all out.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Oct 4, 2011
    • I think it’s best to explain to the girls that, no matter what happens with their dad, they will always have food to eat and a play to stay, if necessary, with you!  They are the children, not the parents and they are not responsible for their dad’s bad situation.

      Unless your ex is suicidal and desperately needs someone to talk to I wouldn’t listen to him complain about his life to you.  He lost that privilege when you divorced.  Just politely make an excuse (something in the oven, doorbell ringing, bath water running...) and hang up.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      YHVH TALENT wrote Oct 6, 2011
    • I don’t think is fair to measure how much they should love him based on his financial decisions.
      They are old enough to stop depending on him, at the end they should not be worried because they have you.
      If your finances are tight, then they need to support you too and find part time jobs to assist you and themselves.
      FAMILY THATS ALL U HAVE AT THE END!!!heart




            Report  Reply


Ask a Question






mature content submit as anonymous