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I have a friend whom I have been helping out here and there with furnishings and just took her a turkey for her to have for her Christmas dinner. I also have some other items that I want to give to her because I know she is down on her luck and having it hard. Ok so today I was going to take over the other items that i wanted to give to her and she sent me a text message asking me if I could stop at the store and buy her a couple of beers and a pack of cigarettes, WTH????? First of all I don’t smoke and I don’t drink beer. I’m trying to be a friend and help her with the needs not her wants and it kinda peed me off for her to ask me this, I’m not going to supply her needs of habit what are your thoughts?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Dec 19, 2011
    • A big NO!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Brimstone1968 wrote Dec 19, 2011
    • I know we donot want to feel like we are running people lives but this is the perfect time to tell her about her habits in relation to her health, finances and most of all  her soul.  Speak to her about it, that would have peed me off as well.  

      I saw a man supposed to be homeless pushing a buggie the other day and he got to the side of the store at the gas station and asked someone to go inside and buy him TWO packs of cigaretts and beers.  That man went down in his socks and pulled out a $20.00.  I did not even realised cigaretts were that expensive.

      I know you Niecy, you will supply her NEEDS not her WANTS.




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Dec 19, 2011
    • Neicy....I would just say “no” very politely.  You don’t owe her an explanation but if you feel very compelled to tell her why..then just say I don’t mind helping out with your NEEDS but I can’t do the WANTS.  

      Remember....don’t try to fix her.  She has to do that herself.  Show her by example.  If you decide to continue to help her with her needs then that is your choice.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie Hempsey wrote Dec 19, 2011
    • I agree with what Mary said. You definitely should tell her you cannot supply her with her vices and I hope I am not overstepping my boundaries in your friendship with this person, but it sounds like they are taking advantage of your good nature. I know you will do whats best for yourself and your friend whatever you decide to do.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Frannie1964 wrote Dec 19, 2011
    • I agree with Mary.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carine Nadel wrote Dec 20, 2011
    • me too.  she sounds a bit like dh’s “person who gave birth to him“.   the more you do to be kind, the more she thinks she can take advantage.

      I’d point out that when you do help, you are taking away from your family-but that you simply can’t afford to spend out on “wants” for her, as your family has “needs” that come first.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Dec 21, 2011
    • Definitely not!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Monay wrote Dec 27, 2011
    • OMG!  She has a lot of nerves.  Sounds like you need to fall back.  She has fallen into the “USER” category. She has taken your kindness for weakness.




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