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I’m concerned about my brother.  His daughter is a senior in high school and has been cutting class so much that she may be expelled.  Also,her grades are really bad so she might not even graduate.  He’s taking her to counseling and stuff but I don’t know if that’s helping her at all.  Do you have any suggestions?  He’s a single dad and he has to leave super early in the morning to get to work and doesn’t come home until 6 p.m. so she has a lot of time to get into trouble.  :(




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Jan 12, 2012
    • At best it sounds like a cry for attention, at worst, drugs.

      Sounds to me like dad needs to be focusing on the kid, not the job.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Diane17 wrote Jan 12, 2012
    • I did mention the possiblity of drugs to him.  I told him he should just do a random drug test on her.  She does go out with her friends a lot and “parties” so that is definitely a possibility. frown




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jan 12, 2012
    • Yeah he needs to make the daughter his 1st priority and maybe consider taking some personal time off to deal with this before things get any worse, best of luck to your family.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Butterflyrose wrote Jan 12, 2012
    • Sounds like supervision/care before and after school would be important: breakfast, seeing her off/taking her to school and  picking her up from school sometimes.  Teens do enjoy being made a fuss over. Is there a neighbor who’d enjoy helping in this way? Or could he hire someone to help?  

      Planned/scheduled daddy/daughter days(activities that they plan together on a big calendar) a few times a week, from board games to attending special events.

      REALLY LISTENING and time spent together  can hopefully open the doors of communication.

      I sincerely hope  that all turns out well.

      An act of kindness is a gift given
      Butterflyrose

      #enjoylifeheart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Brimstone1968 wrote Jan 12, 2012
    • Sounds like her behaviour is a manifestation of something that is going on with her.  Looking at different situations most often times the kid has some personal situation dealing with.  Angry over something, and acting out is one way to get unspoken attention.  Suggest he have some daddy/girl time and TALK and LISTEN.  She could be sexually abused, teenage pressure to do something she nows regrets, drugs, a host of things.  He needs some moments with her.

      Can he ask to start his shift a little later and try and end it 1 hour after she should get home from school?  I know money is tight all over.  

      Because he would have cut his hours during the week then he can arrange with a neighbour or family for her to be with on the weekends and he put in some hours on the weekends.  As hard as money is now he need to nip this now otherwise he will be spending a whole lot more later on.

      I pray that he can have something work out with his job, family and neighbours so he can help her.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Jan 12, 2012
    • I’m suggesting a random drug test. And, also, getting to know her friends and their families to see if there is a common thread among them. He’s the parent, she’s showing warning signs so he is within his scope to take measures. If she’s on drugs, best to get control of it now before it escalates.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jan 14, 2012
    • I can bet a million dollars that I don’t have that she is being heavily influenced by not so good friends and I would bet there is drugs and alcohol involved.  I strongly suggest he drug test her.  That will tell a lot.  He needs to make an appt with her school counselor and teachers.  They all need to be on the same page with her and she needs to know there is a team watching her.  

      The free time has to go. Not sure what he can do to occupy that time...but if he can...with him would be good but I understand the job situation.  But she doesn’t need that unsupervised free time day after day.  

      Like others have said...if he doesn’t get a grip on this not so good situation NOW...what he will have to deal with later on will be much worse.  

      Also..I will add that...she has to make the decision that she wants to make good grades and graduate.  If she CHOOSES to not do what it takes..then he also needs to let her SUFFER the consequences.  Bailing her out will be the worst thing he can do.  But he does need to map it all out for her and then let her decide.

      I’ll add one more thing...she needs a therapist or someone she can talk to as well.  A safe place she can tell how she is feeling and what is going on with her to make the choices she is making.  There is definitely something going on with her alone.




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