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Am I wrong for taking this approach. My husband has not cheated that I am aware of but he does have a bad habit of sexting he takes it right to the line. I find it very upsetting and we almost split up over the last incident a year ago but he begged me to stay. We have one child and I am now currently pregnant. I just found out he is still doing it. It is every 4-6 months he does this crap then gets bored and stops only to repeat. I blame this on his low self esteem but I can only take so much. Rather then walk out I thought that I should go back to school secure my future build a little nest egg and leave when I’m ready. I just cant see walking right now making my life harder when I can prepare an exit it will be hard but I think walking out without a plan is worse. Of course he has no clue I plan on leaving but hell he brought this on.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Jan 14, 2012
    • If he’s doing this with other women then in my opinion it’s cheating. Do you think he’d go to counseling for the behavior?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Chris73 wrote Jan 14, 2012
    • No he knows it is wrong to an extent in the fact that it is disrespectful to me but he says he is just BSing with them that there is no real intention of doing anything. I’ve told him he has a problem and needs help. He doesn’t see it as a real problem, for him, as he says he would never cheat but I think it is all BS and he has some serious issues. I think it is an addiction and if he doesn’t want to fix it there is nothing I can do to change that other then change myself and and do what will make me happy.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jan 14, 2012
    • If he sees nothing wrong with it then he’s not going to get help.  I personally think your plan of preparing to leave is a good plan.  If you can stomach staying with him while you make the necessary changes and plans..then I say go for it.  Do what you need to do to secure a better income....start squirreling some money away...and during the time...start documenting everything he does especially the texting.  When you go to court...you’ll have lots of proof.  Document daily schedules....what you see....phone conversations....dates...times...keep a diary.  But remember...keep it secure.  Judges like when you are prepared!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Butterflyrose wrote Jan 14, 2012
    • You are a smart lady. Being prepared when you walk out that door will make the exit easier than not being prepared.  It’s about what’s best for you and your children. God be with you.

      An act of kindness is a gift given
      Butterflyrose

      #enjoylifeheart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Daphne wrote Jan 15, 2012
    • He’s full of crap.  He’s trying to bullshit you and he’s definitely bullshitting himself if he thinks there is ANYTHING acceptable about what he’s doing.  He continues this behavior, KNOWING how it hurts you.  That right there is a HUGE red flag.  If it’s an addicition (as he claims), he won’t achieve the same “high” repeating the same behavior over and over...he’ll have to up the ante at some point.  And, IMO, every time you take him back after he’s caught, you will get less and less respect and consideration from him.  I’d be interested in knowing how HE would feel if you were doing the same thing he’s doing!  Hell...find a girlfriend you trust (who’s number he doesn’t know and list it as “Brad” or something) and send her some pics.  Then, let him “find out“.  I wonder if his tune might change if the shoe is on the other foot.

      Something else he might not have considered...these pictures he’s sexting may find their way onto the internet, as they all-too-often do.  How might he like that?

      Remember...for every rat you see, there’s ten you don’t.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jan 15, 2012
    • I toally agree with what Daphne said and I’m standing by Mary’s statement 1000% prepare yourself and leave his rat tail behind!!! LITERALLY!!!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie Hempsey wrote Jan 15, 2012
    • Its definitely wrong. You are smart by wanting to wait and secure. If you can handle the wait...go for it. And documenting it all will help a lot! He needs a wake up call...you should do the same thing to him and see how he likes it..maybe it will snap him into reality...if not, he may really have an addiction and only he can help himself then. Good luck and take care of yourself and that baby!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Daphne wrote Jan 15, 2012
    • DOCUMENTATION!!!!  Yes!!!  You will be very thankful you documented everything when it hits the fan.   And, BTW...when it hits the fan, it will not be distributed evenly.  Documentation will create just the countercurrent you need to keep the shit from hitting YOU!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Chris73 wrote Jan 15, 2012
    • Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement. He doesn’t think he is addicted I do as being married to him I have noticed he has low self esteem and I think he does this to boost his ego without any concern for the repercussions. Oh I have documented quite a bit as well has taking pictures of the texts and pictures he has sent along with names and phone numbers. My aunt went through a similar situation (much worse) and gave me some great advice. Staying is difficult as I rather just tell him to kiss my ass but I have two little ones to think of and I need to secure my future first for them. I believes he thinks I am stuck and that I have no choice but to take it, that is why it continues. I constantly tell him don’t underestimate me. I know a lot of women would just walk out in my position but I feel I would just be hurting myself. I need to react with my intellect and not my emotions if I truly want to get out and better myself and my situation for myself and my children.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cc-u wrote Jan 15, 2012
    • You are 1 smart lady!  Godspeed to your plans!




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jan 15, 2012
    • Chris73...

      You are thinking very clearly!! A sacrifice now to secure your future will allow you to be “free” of him down the road.  Just keep focus as to why you are staying and really the less you say to him at this point the better off you will be.  He will then be wondering what you are thinking and doing.  Plan....save.....document.....pray......and take care of your children!! And don’t forget....TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda L wrote Jan 16, 2012
    • All the ladies gave great advice! Good for you for knowing what’s best for you and your children. Take care.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Jan 21, 2012
    • You certainly have your plans in order, I commend you.

      As hard as it is right now to look him in the eye and know what he is doing, in the long run, you will be the one that will reap the benefits and he will be one lonely little man.

      Best to you and your children!heart




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