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Teen Boys - I am concerned about my son’s serious relationship with his girlfriend.  I believe it’s too serious and he should be spendng more of his spare time with his friends and concentrating more on his studies.  He only wants to spend time with her, we’ve had to confiscate his cell phone overnight because of the constant txting & calling in the early hours of the morning.  I believe relationship has become phyiscal, but he denies it. (I’ve seen some txt mgs confiring this)I don’t believe anything he says anymore.  I don’t like the girl for various reasons, which are also reflected by other members of our family.  I can’t seem to hide my dislike for the girl and often make negative comments to my son about her, I know I shouldn’t do this but sometimes he just pushes the wrong buttons. How do I handle this, would appreciate some advice from other mums of teen boys. It’s a crazy time.  Help !!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Feb 5, 2012
    • Remember you are the parent.  You can take away the cell phone permanently if need be.  You can control where he goes.  If he needs to be home studying, it’s up to you to make sure that’s what he’s doing.  He will probably hate you for awhile, but that’s just teens for you.  Better to listen to him whine about how you‘re “ruining his life” now, than to let him procede and end up ruining it by his actions from here on out.

      And let’s face it, I think teenage boys’ hormones make them just plain stupid.  (yes, I have a nearly seventeen year old)




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Brimstone1968 wrote Feb 6, 2012
    • You cannot police every single move but you can put on the brakes now.  My motto in my house was “Hate me  now, Love me later“.  It sure did work.  You will seem to be the worst thing that could happen to him right about now but trust me he will come and thank you in the end.  He is in YOUR house, eating YOUR food, resting in YOUR bed, YOU are paying the mortage/rent and so therefore YOU get to make the decisions.  If it means as Tulip said taking away the phone so let it be.  Once he is home and in your house, you know where he is everythingelse could waite until the next morning.  

      Education is very very vital in this day and age and I would not want him messing that up because in the end it will all fall back on you which will not be fair.  I know he could push your buttons but if you donot like certain qualities about the girl sit and talk with him about them, find another person who is displaying the same qualities who he can relate to and maybe seeing it that person will drive home the point faster.

      We cannot choose for them but it is our responsibility to guide them and do everything in our powers to make them productivie citizens.

      I know teeanage years are rough, will remember you in prayer.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Feb 6, 2012
    • These are wise words by these wonderful ladies!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Chris73 wrote Feb 7, 2012
    • My son who is now 20 was exactly the same way in his last 2 years of high school, totally consumed by this girl. She was not a bad girl but she had extreme jealousy and control issues to be so young. I found out the more I was negative (comments or picking) about her the more he pulled away from me and more to her defense. I just had to get real with him and have real conversations explaining that I did not like the way she treated him and he should not put up with it. I told him I understood that he felt like these feelings were deep but I would not be tolerating certain things in my house. I did take his phone away and he totally flipped out but my son at least listened to me and we compromised about each others feelings. I told him if he became a hermit or his grades dropped he would be on permanent lock down. I did let it run it’s course and it did thank God, but there were rules that had to be in place. Now had this girl been into drinking and drugs or some serious negative behavior then I would have put it all on lock down no questions asked. As for teens having physical relationship I agree with the above ladies you cannot police your children all the time but you can educate them. I let my son know he could talk to me about anything with the promise that I would not flip out and that it was a safe place to talk. I was very honest with him about a lot of things and even let him know that I wasn’t perfect as I got pregnant with him at 18 but I also let him know there were many consequences and not just getting a girl pregnant. I think you have to balance being the parent who puts their foot down and makes the rules to being a parent who is open to listen and not judge but to listen and guide them in the right direction.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marza wrote Feb 9, 2012
    • Thanks to you all, really appreciate your comments.  

      It’s comforting to know that I’m not alone out there when it comes to teenage boys.  God help me I still have daugther yet to go through these horrid hormones - how will I cope !!!

      Chris73 your comments about the negative remarks I’m making about the girl are so true, I’ve felt over the last few months that my relationship with my son has been strained.  I will need to be more mindful before making any comments in relation to the girlfriend going forward - will be hard - but I’ll do it.  Hopefully this relationship will run it’s course in due course.

      Thanks again to you all.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Feb 10, 2012
    • I can relate, as we went through this with our son in his teen years...luckily, he finally wised up and realized she was the not the one.

      Do what you need to do as the parent.happy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Trishski wrote Feb 10, 2012
    • I was in a relationship like this in high school.  I think his mom thought we were way to young, to be so serious.  We ended up going to the same college and married right after graduation.  Today, we’ve been married for 20 years, and have 2 beautiful children.  His mom and I get along really well.  Sometimes you just know when it’s right, even if you are young. Still, you are smart to limit their time, and make sure he concentrates on his studies.  Also, I never treated my boyfriend/husband poorly, so if that is happening, I can understand your worries.  He’ll figure it out eventually.  It’s tough to let our kids fall, but sometimes that’s the only way they can fly.  Good luck!




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