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SERIOUS MOMENT:I have three grown son one of the three being deceased. After my son was killed in 2009 I thought it would change my other sons behavior for the better. NOPE, it did not happen I been going through so much with them throughout the years. The disrespect, and now that I lost one son and now I fear of losing another Everyday. They dont get along nor respect my husband of 10 years.They have been out the home for months now and now is homelees and i am so scared of them being out there.My Husband do not agree with them coming back home cause we have gone through this hurt over and over again; and allowed them back home many of times and they only causes problems for us. And disrespect the home. I have a 10yr old daughter with my husband and she fear for her brothers everynight but at the same time dont want to see them fight and argue with her dad. I dont know what to do?

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Best Answer

Their is noting like a mother’s love.  No matter what, we tend to worry about our kids, good, bad or indifferent.  As hard and as hash as this may sound you have to let go of those two boys.  You have to first detach yourself emotionally and let the bare reality face you dead in the eyes.  Ask yourself can you go through another 10 years of their behaviour and you would answer yourself.

You have raised them and they have seen what happen to their brother and if they did not change from that incident then you have to let it go.  You have a 10 year old, you cannot continue to raise grown men and still raise your 10 year old.  The environment is not a safe one for her and it is your responsibility to make it a safe haven for your daughter, yourself and your husband.

I always say the individual have to want it bad enough to want the change, we sometimes as parents want the change so much more than them.

I will pray that you find peace in knowing that you have done your job with the grown kids and it is time to focus on your daughter and the life with your husband.


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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Brimstone1968 wrote Feb 27, 2012
    • Their is noting like a mother’s love.  No matter what, we tend to worry about our kids, good, bad or indifferent.  As hard and as hash as this may sound you have to let go of those two boys.  You have to first detach yourself emotionally and let the bare reality face you dead in the eyes.  Ask yourself can you go through another 10 years of their behaviour and you would answer yourself.

      You have raised them and they have seen what happen to their brother and if they did not change from that incident then you have to let it go.  You have a 10 year old, you cannot continue to raise grown men and still raise your 10 year old.  The environment is not a safe one for her and it is your responsibility to make it a safe haven for your daughter, yourself and your husband.

      I always say the individual have to want it bad enough to want the change, we sometimes as parents want the change so much more than them.

      I will pray that you find peace in knowing that you have done your job with the grown kids and it is time to focus on your daughter and the life with your husband.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Feb 28, 2012
    • My heart hurts for you and I pray that your boys see the light and work on the relationship with their step father. If they are unwilling to do this for him, maybe they will meet you halfway for the sake of their sister. This is a terrible emotional burden for a young girl like that. I’ll keep your family in my prayers.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      40yearsyoung wrote Feb 28, 2012
    • Thank you for your prayers....




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Trishski wrote Mar 2, 2012
    • Can’t begin to imagine what you have been through, and what you are going through right now.  If it improved matters when the boys moved back home, I’d probably allow it.  It seems like it doesn’t improve anything for your boys though, and they might need a little tough love.  Maybe struggling in the real world will encourage them to want to straighten up. And if they do, maybe you can let them temporarily stay at your house till they are on their feet.  My heart is breaking for you, I know this must be difficult.  Lots of prayers coming your way!




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