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How do you help a friend who is too proud to accept help?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote May 24, 2012
    • I saw a couple alarming posts on FB this morning from a friend of mine, so I stopped in to talk to him a little while ago.  He is down and out financially.  His ex wife is harassing him.  His late girl friend’s creditors are harassing him.  He’s taken a second job as he put it, “so I can make enough to file for bankruptcy”

      I know he’s barely eating because he has no grocery money, so I’m going to take him some eggs and what groceries I can afford.  I know he is too proud to accept them, so I will deliver them while he’s at work.  I can’t help more than that financially.

      I’m trying to think of some way to find him some help.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cc-u wrote May 24, 2012
    • Having him over for dinner might be nice—it’s more of a friendship thing than a hand-out.  And maybe researching possible local resources for him to look into?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne Lyken-Garner wrote May 25, 2012
    • I once gave another friend some money to give to this friend who’d just lost her job and had her house repossessed. I asked the friend not to say who the money was from, only that it had been given specifically for her.  

      This worked for me and unto this day she doesn’t know the secret. Maybe you could find someone trustworthy and ask them to do it.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote May 25, 2012
    • Thanks for the thoughts on this.  I did take him some groceries yesterday and he accepted them graciously.

       I’m looking into whether I can get him some stuff from the county food pantry since I don’t have much extra grocery money.  I’ve been brainstorming a bit and hope I can take up a little collection among those of us who know him (he’s a loner who doesn’t make friends easily).  

      I offered him some garden fresh lettuce which he declined because he’s got no salad dressing.  :(




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne Lyken-Garner wrote May 25, 2012
    • Yes, I think a collection on his behalf would be good. People who know him wouldn’t mind chipping in. That way, once person doesn’t have to bear the entire load.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote May 25, 2012
    • You are very kind, T! Just a thought, but what if you were to help him cultivate a small garden for himself, pick up veggie and fruit seeds and help him plant these things so he could have some nutritious foods to eat through the warm months.  It is also easy to make your own salad dressing..my MIL would always mix some ketchup with mayo and make a french dressing.

      Another thought, get some of your neighbors to make a casserole dish..mac & cheese or an egg dish that could last him a few days.  

      I have known people in rough spots and always helped in any way I could.  Growing up poor myself, my poor mom never had help, so you learn to have a heart for those less fortunate.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote May 25, 2012
    • I, too, like the anonymous gifting idea. It’s important to preserve his pride, especially being a man. From what I have read in your posts over time, though, you live in an area that has a strong sense of community. If anyone knows his ex perhaps they can work on her to leave him alone. And his late girlfriend’s creditors definitely need to leave him alone. If they were not married, they have no business trying to collect on her debts from him. Sounds like this man needs some time to heal.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote May 25, 2012
    • You‘re right Cynthia, he needs to heal.  He’s been beaten down a few too many times in life.  Unfortunately none of us know his ex

      Mary, good idea about the garden.  He and I have discussed it once or twice earlier in the year.  He knows he can use my tiller.  Maybe I’ll tackle him tomorrow about that.  Gardening is so healing for the soul too!!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Butterflyrose wrote May 25, 2012
    • Since he seems like a man who isn’t afraid of work, why not have/create some jobs for him and pay him with food, toiletries, household items and anything needed for living as a “trade/barter.” Others may want to join in and he keeps his pride.

      Also hone in on his skills as a way for him to “make a living.”

      An act of kindness is a gift given
      Butterflyrose

      #enjoylifeheart




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