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Benefits
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I have had a friend for 5 years that has called me for all the major sad events in her life when she needed someone-I was the one person that went immediately over her house to console her. I went with her to bring her husbands ashes to the cemetary, took her to her 6am hospital appt (Im not a morning person) the moment her cat died she called I literally ran 10 blocks from an event I was at to get to my car to hurry to her home etc. We spoke several times a week. 2 weeks ago we went to a concert she was humming (it was distracting) I said please stop humming. She said I can do what I want-she was so mad I asked her to stop, she didnt talk to me on the way home AND when I went on my email-all she said was “FORGET ABOUT POLO IM NOT GOING“. We had plans for tomorrow-I have not heard from her since! Shall I make the first move? She’s 50 yrs old not 8 years old as it seems to me she is acting like a child to toss away our friendship over HUMMING!
I agree with Tulip. Give it some time and see if you two can patch things up. You’ve been friends for a long time. It would be a shame to lose the friendship.
Thank you both for your response but it has been 2 weeks and I think she is waiting for me to apologize- my thoughts are after all we have been through if she never contacts me again-and I apologize for asking her not to HUM....(silly huh) I cannot live my life walking on egg shells not knowing what may set her off next-I was hoping for an apology OR perhaps YOU MADE ME FEEL BAD....when you asked me to shhhh...How long is long enough - been 2 weeks already, should to be the one to make the first move?
Also her email cancelling the polo outing was something we had planned for several weeks.
perhaps this is one of those moments that your friend is not only taking you for granted and really behaving childlike. perhaps there has been many situations like this in the past and you have let it go. but now you have had enough, you have reached your limit and your friends actions point to a couldnt-care-about-you kind of nasty. 2 things come to mind tell her immediately about your feelings and what her actions suggest to you. or yes let it slip let time go on and on and on. perhaps not being there for her always, to help her may wake her up to the friend you are to her. perhaps she does not deserve your kindness, your support and your love and care as a friend.
Im with Nita on this....
Sad that you‘re friend behaved this way so is she really a friend?
Vikki
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I try to see the best in people even when it is really, really hard like in this instance...but it sounds like she is taking out on you something about someone from the past. Someone who told her she couldnt’ or shouldn’t do something. As long as she lives in the past none of her relationships will work. It could’ve just been the way you said it (not that it was wrong or said wrong) but it reminded her of another time. Maybe she’s been controlled in her life and decided anything anyone asks her to stop is control. You never know what someone is thinking. If you really love her and she is that good of a friend, talk it out. My thing is, even in my writing is do you want to be right or kind? If you love her talk to her... If you are really afraid you are going to be walking on eggshells and can’t do it then maybe it is not worth saving.
It seems like you did a lot for her. Has she been there for you too? If so, and you are that good of friends, I would at least try to get to the bottom of things...but that is just me....
xxoo Good luck
I like Nita and Marion’s answers...this woman sounds a bit like a brat and not at all mature, but you have maintained a long friendship with her, so getting to the root of the problem is important, for your sense of either continuing the friendship or closing the book for good.
50 can be a tough age for some women, trust me, I know some wicked witches!
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