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anonymous Anonymous

Q & A

I have had a bit of a dilemma. My husband had some prostate issues for years and finally had a procedure done (don’t remember what it was called, but involved laser) about a year ago.  He now has absolutely NO sex drive and although I have talked to him about it, he make no attempt to be physically attentive to me anymore.  I know this has to do with his inability to respond physically, but I feel very neglected. I now have a 2-3 times a week date with BOB, but it isn’t the same. Any suggestions?



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Best Answer

I know that there are medications that can help restore those sexual urges and perhaps a little foreplay where you help stimulate him. I’m guessing he feels embarrassed and/or inadequate and would rather ignore the problem than address it.
Maybe start by taking a nice shower together and initiating a bit of play. If he does not respond well rather than feeling rejected, use the opportunity to open up a conversation about how much you miss his touch, etc. Make sure he tell him that you love him and you will get through this together. Start slowly, intimacy is more than just sex. If you are comfortable enough with him ask him to participate in watching you masturbate. Sometimes that’s enough to bring sexy back!
Just don’t give up. It sounds like there is more going on than just a physical issue.  Good luck!


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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Sep 28, 2012
    • I’m no Dr so I don’t know the side effects of what he went thru. So.....

      Have you been honest and upfront with him about how YOU feel? Have you told him that it’s not him but about YOU? Have you asked home to be a 3rd player with you and BOB?

      As far as I know being upfront and honest without accusing is always best.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Sep 28, 2012
    • Possibly asking him to accompany you to a sex therapist or counselor could be helpful, your family doctor might be helpful in providing that info.  I do not know much about prostate issues, but involving a professional sounds needed.




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Sep 28, 2012
    • I have no suggestions, all I can say is that most men are very “all or nothing” types.  If they can’t have sex, they don’t want all the cuddly snuggly bits either.  Very frustrating for us women, but it’s the way they‘re wired.

      I hope you can get thru to him. heart




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Tanfish wrote Sep 30, 2012
    • I know that there are medications that can help restore those sexual urges and perhaps a little foreplay where you help stimulate him. I’m guessing he feels embarrassed and/or inadequate and would rather ignore the problem than address it.
      Maybe start by taking a nice shower together and initiating a bit of play. If he does not respond well rather than feeling rejected, use the opportunity to open up a conversation about how much you miss his touch, etc. Make sure he tell him that you love him and you will get through this together. Start slowly, intimacy is more than just sex. If you are comfortable enough with him ask him to participate in watching you masturbate. Sometimes that’s enough to bring sexy back!
      Just don’t give up. It sounds like there is more going on than just a physical issue.  Good luck!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Rene Grandon wrote Dec 30, 2012
    • I have same issue accept my hubby has a groin hernia and tummy hernia and possibly lowT too. I feel so lost without his touch and wonder if he still loves me! frown
      If he needs me anymore?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Rene Grandon wrote Dec 30, 2012
    • I do want to add that I still love him very much and  I stay hot for him all the time! He is my heartbeat and my only love!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Dec 30, 2013
    • My husband has a vasectomy almost 4 years ago and hasn’t touched me since.  There is no intimacy whatsoever, no holding hands no love and yet I hang in hoping that he will one day try.  It’s getting difficult though and I wonder whether I should leave and if there are people out there who would want to get to know me.




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