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How does one tactfully suggest to a parent that the OTHER parent may have the beginning of dementia or alzheimers?  My dad is really getting BAD!

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • Ditto to BB.  Sometimes if you say, I am sure it will be stemmed from your heart, “I am worry about Dad.  This is what he has done....., what do you think Mom?  Did you feel the same as me?”  and suggest a visit to the doctor.  Call the doctor’s office ahead of time and express your concern so you do not have to speak it in front of your parents and cause embarrassment.  Hope this help and good luck.  Let us know.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marcy wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • Funny!  You all CORRECTLY picked Dad as the one who is displaying the symptoms & I didn’t mention which parent!  

      I think part of his problem may be due to some hearing loss (he was around farm equipment all his life - he’s 78 y/o).  

      Things like playing card games we’ve always played or finding things in the house (that have been in the same place for over 30 years) he has trouble with.  He repeats himself over & over on the phone & I finally have to ask to talk with mom.  

      I’m concerned about him driving too far from home.  My brother bought him a GPS but that only works if he uses it! He gets together with Army buddies every other year... and he doesn’t fly... so that means they drive all over the country!  Scares the daylights out of me!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marcy wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • DUH!  Must be catching... I just re-read my original post & I did say it was my Dad!  tongue out




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • My mother does have alzeheimers and was diagnosed with it over 10 years ago.  Hers is very slow.  She is in a nursing home now that has a wing for alzeheimers patients.  

      Fortunately my father passed away right before she was diagnosed and he didn’t have to deal with it.  We look back and now realize we missed some of her symptoms because we were so consumed with my Dad and his bad health.  

      Shuffling of the feet (not picking up their feet to walk) is a sign...along with...not eating right....repeating themselves.....losing things constantly.....calling a loved one over and over in one day and not remembering they called before.  

      When we moved my mother out of her house to an assisted living...she had just started to make mistakes in her checkbook (thank God nothing major)...she was eating ice cream all the time (she is diabetic as well).  She had started to have bathroom accidents...not making it to the bathroom...and she fell a couple of times.  Thank the dear Lord she did not drive so that was not something we had to deal with.  She heard the diagnosis and dealt with it.  She was put on Aerocept and is still on it.  

      She sleeps a lot more now....she really will not recognize me at first but I have to tell her that I’m “her baby” meaning I’m the last of (4) daughters.  She thinks my father is still living and she thinks her parents are still living and we go along with her way of thinking.  You can’t convince them of things that are stuck in their brains...you go along. You have to get in their world.  

      It’s very hard ..it’s a horrible disease and I wouldn’t want to wish it on my worst enemy.  But she still has a sense of humor and we (my sisters and I) cling to that.  

      You just need to tell your mother that you have researched it and that you think your father needs to be seen.  If he won’t go then you have a problem.  I’m sorry for what you may be going through.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Psalmist wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • Well, i’m in a tough spot because my dad suffered a stroke in june of ‘07 which has definitely affected his cognitive processes and balance.  in the meantime, my sister and i have noticed some things lately about mom that we‘re both in denial over, simply because we couldn’t handle having both parents suffering dementia simultaneously.  We‘re keeping our eyes on them both.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • My grandmother has dementia and it has been tough going. We first started noticing the forgetfulness, she would repeat herself constantly. Now she is at the point where she only wants to eat sweets, does not like to bathe and is almost child like in her behavior.
      I would tell you to go on the internet, research dementia/alzheimers and present the list of symptoms to your mom. Sometimes we don’t want to admit what we can really see. I just hope dad is not still driving, that can be a huge mistake!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carine Nadel wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • my sister and I are also at our wits end w/ my mom.  She allows our father (who has always been an awful driver) to drive.  We have tried everything-including calling their dr!  We were told we have no rights-unless we go to court and have them declared incompetent.

      Mom is sharp as a tack.  Dad is the sweetest man on earth, but he can’t remember anything.  Mom is not in the best of health and is too tired to fight w/ him about not driving.

      “I wouldn’t let him drive if there were people on the road”

      WHAT IS THAT????  Oh, and “I can’t take his manhood away from him” is the other brilliant line we hear!!!

      WHEN HAS RISKING OTHER PEOPLES LIVES BECOME A MANHOOD THING?????

      I hear you and then some sister-maybe we could come up w/ a group plan????




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marcy wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • Thanks ladies!  I’ll be giving my mom a call to see what she’s been experiencing at home.  This is just what I’ve noticed since we’ve been back from Colorado but especially over Thanksgiving & Christmas...




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