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anonymous Anonymous

Q & A

Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just found out that my boyfriend for two years is married.  Part of me still wants to be with him and another part of me wants to run and tell his wife... pls help

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Jan 19, 2013
    • Get away from him far and fast.  It is OVER!!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 19, 2013
    • Wow! Run like Tuliplady said and don’t look back! You deserve better than that!!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Jan 19, 2013
    • Yikes!ohhhh  What a scam artist, like Tulip said, far and fast, RUN, RUN.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Wendy101 wrote Jan 19, 2013
    • I’m sorry to hear you‘re going through this. It’s hard when someone has gone out of their way to seek affection and attention from us..gaining our trust only to find they have deceived not only us but others. Reasons do not matter for their true colors are shown. Any good man would have ended a failing marriage before seeking out another and trusting him at this point has proven he can’t be trusted. Yes it will be hard on the heart for I’m sure he does carry some good qualities or you would not have beem dating for two years. However for two years he has lied and deceived you. End it knowing that you are doing what is right for you. And that you deserve a good man. Hugs and we are here for you.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Daphne wrote Jan 19, 2013
    • When someone shows you their true colors, BELIEVE THEM!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jan 19, 2013
    • There is no need trying to tell his wife. Why would you, and why would she listen to anything you have to say being the other woman? I’ve been there before, my ex hubby cheated on me I was able to chat with the dummy he was seeing when she called my house and I got the call, I did kick some wisdom to her and she did adhere to it, but our marriage and their relationship was over, as Tulip said move on, he will never be trustworthy or true to you he wasn’t with his wife seeing you, think about it!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jan 19, 2013
    • I need you to go back and read your reply focus on this part: I asked him to leave his wife, and he said he would if I would support him financially. Are you serious????? This guy sucks to no end why would you want to be with someone you’d have to support? Again he is not gonna leave because it will cost him big time, he wants his cake and the ice cream girl get real with yourself and move on unless you‘re the kind who just has to have a man and will settle for being used. Best of luck to you.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jewelrybyirina wrote Jan 19, 2013
    • I know it is for you, but you need to leave him.
      I agree with ladies. Please move on. Try to concentrate on something/somebody else.
      Stay strong!heart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carine Nadel wrote Jan 19, 2013
    • tuliplady’s rightr.  nothing good could ever come out of this.  if you really didn’t know-let him know this is over that you value yourself.  if you did-learn to value you and run.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda L wrote Jan 19, 2013
    • Agree with the ladies! He’s a loser, using you and cheating on his wife. It may be hard to get over him, but you deserve better! Please move on.




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Nathalie Girard wrote Jan 20, 2013
    • I agree too. You will never be able to build a trustworthy relationship with this man. For all you know he might have girlfriend number three waiting 15minutes away. You will always have doubts on where he is, what he is doing when he doesn’t come home. Do you really want to live suspended on your phone waiting for him to want to see you all the time? He is manipulating you. Don’t let him sweettalk you.

      Like a lot of the ladies, I’ve been there too. I hung on only to be more disappointed. Leaving someone you love is hard, but an unhealthy relationship cannot be anything else. Once over, it leaves room in your life for someone trustworthy and a healthy relationship.

      Seek friends to help you go throw this. Don’t try to do this alone, it’s too hard. In my case I actually changed appartment and stopped answering his phone calls, deleted his emails without reading them. It was so hard. He was the reason I was living and I wasn’t sure I could find anything as intense or anyone that could make me happier.I now know better.

      I am now happily married to a lovely loving man I fully trust and adore. I am SO happy I didn’t stay with that other man. I don’t even miss him anymore.

      Hope this helps. You can always count on us ladies here to help you go through this. You can private message me if you need too.

      heart Be strong! and SEEK SUPPORT!!!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 20, 2013
    • Try to look past YOUR hurt and see what really will be accomplished by telling his wife. My guess is more hurt for you. I would just walk away without a glance back. You truely have nothing to gain!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Jan 20, 2013
    • Most often women who have cheating husbands know they cheat, but choose to stay with them for whatever reason. He is not going to leave her. And if he did it stands to reason that he would leave you for another woman one day, do you really want to live with that insecurity the rest of your days. It will be hard, you will cry, but you will be better for yourself and the right man. Trust and believe in yourself.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Jan 20, 2013
    • I believe that no man is worth any woman’s heartache, they are a breed upon themselves and will suck the life out of a woman if she lets him.  You sound like a loving, caring person and certainly deserve much better.  If any woman stays married to a cheating man, it is on her and every woman involved risks the chances of emotional trauma as well as a potential physical problem..sexually transmitted disease, sorry but it happens.

      Many blessings and hugs to you.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Jan 20, 2013
    • It will take time, but you will get over him, and I think his wife has every right to know...




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 20, 2013
    • At no point and time in the last 2 years you were suspicious or anything? I guess I was just thinking back to when I was dating my hubz and I spent time at his home and with his friends and family. Did you do any of that?
      And the part about you having to support him!?!!!????!!! That’s just crazy especially if you even consider it. What else is he with holding from you? Has it occurred to you that if he cheated on the mother of his his children, his wife that he is legally bound to that he won’t cheat on you.??!?!?! Especially if you accept his behavior and continue to see him he will think its ok to cheat!

      Married men equal trouble if they are not married to you!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jewelrybyirina wrote Jan 21, 2013
    • I would not talk to his wife.  She might not believe you.
      Just move on. Do not see him any more. I know it’s hard,
      but you can do it!
      Hugs,




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Jan 21, 2013
    • Ladies, you don’t want to know if your husband is cheating? That’s crazy...she has every right to know....




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 21, 2013
    • It’s not that I wouldn’t want to know. I would! However I don’t see how anon is going to gain anything by telling the wife. It’s keeping anon involved with this man and she needs to be uninvolved. Especially since anon still has feelings




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Jan 21, 2013
    • Anon is going to have feelings weather or not she tells wife....she may just feel better about all of it if he doesn’t get away with it, and do it again to the next lady.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jan 21, 2013
    • I honestly don’t see what she expect to gain telling his wife of their affair, I see an alterior motive here she thinks telling is going bring him to her, NOT!!! Trust me most times the other spouse has their suspicions about affairs, sometimes they want to remain blind to the fact because they too don’t want to lose what has been built in the marriage.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Jan 21, 2013
    • I would never think that would bring him back to her, the opposite really. Why would he want anything to do with her after she “outs” him?  His wife just might need to hear this to finally give her proof of what he’s doing so she can find a man who will be honest with her?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Nathalie Girard wrote Jan 22, 2013
    • I say if you really need to tell her, tell her but you won’t feel better. He is going to wiggle his way out of this. He won’t be devastated, but his wife will.  

      My father once had an affair that I found out about. I told my mom. She called me a bitch and a lier. My point: if she is not ready to hear it, she might protect him and take it out on you. You can bet he will lie to her and tell her how you seduced him, bla bla la. In my experience, by exposing him to his wife you just bring more pain and frustration on yourself.  

      The best vengeance you can have is to cut all means of communication with him and move on like he didn’t matter. That will make him feel more insignificant than trying to bud in his life.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Jan 22, 2013
    • She has proof, wife will have to believe it, no way to wiggle out of it. Anon may feel better, revenge can be sweet.




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Daphne wrote Jan 22, 2013
    • Karma’s only a bitch if you are.  It is pretty likely that my response isn’t going to be well-received but i’m not going to post it anonymously...i stand behind my beliefs and, being that you ASKED, you deserve to know who is giving their opinion.

      First of all, i’m sorry you‘re in this mess.  Really, i am.

      With that said...if it was me, i would sever all ties and be done with it.  This a**hole is thinking ONLY about himself.  He LIED to keep you around.  You‘re not even worth the TRUTH to this guy.  Your relationship began and grew because of a big, fat, unadulterated, selfish, ego-driven LIE.  He’s from “a foreign country that allows more than one wife“...PLEASE tell me you didn’t buy THAT line of crap!

      I’m not a vindictive type of person who finds satisfaction in retribution.  I look at it this way...if you tell his wife, you are not only pointing out that HE is a scumbag, but that you‘re one, too.  You’ve been in a relationship with a married man and you have admitted that you ignored the signs telling you he was married.  Shame on you for not doing your “due diligence“.  I may sound as if i’m a harsh bitch, but by ignoring the signs, you weren’t giving him the benefit of the doubt...you were giving yourself the benefit of a boyfriend.  You‘re as responsible for this mess as he is and telling the wife isn’t the answer.  What are you looking for by telling her?  Don’t kid yourself by saying you‘re looking out for HER...you’d be doing it to gain something for yourself.  What is it?

      Take responsibility for yourself and fix YOU.  There is a reason you didn’t listen to your inner voice when it TOLD you that this guy wasn’t who he portrayed himself to be...figure out why you didn’t/don’t believe you deserve better and go from there.  Let the “fixing” of this dirtbag be his own responsibility.

      I’d rather be lonely than lied to.  I’d rather be alone than with a liar.




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