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Q & A

Did you live with your spouse prior to marriage?  Would you do it again?  Do you feel that it’s beneficial to co-habitate before marriage?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Jan 6, 2009
    • No, I did not live with him before marriage. If I had I may still be single! tongue out




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Jan 6, 2009
    • I lived with this one a year and a half before we got married.  Would I do it again?  I’m not sure.

        Beneficial, no.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Jan 6, 2009
    • No I didn’t and if I had my time again yes I would ... I think I would have spotted a thing or two ...




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Jan 6, 2009
    • Joyfull, I so agree! I’ve had friends that lived with their spouses prior to marriage and they say after they sealed the deal there was a shift in the Universe.
      I only dated my husband a few months before I married him and to top it off I was 18 when we met, 19 when we married. What woman really knows what kind of man she wants at 19? You just don’t have enough life experience to make a sound decision like that.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Jan 6, 2009
    • I feel that I have missed out on things that so many of my girlfriends got to experience. I was pregnant when I got married, so I went right from being a wife to being a mom. I never got a chance to experience College life, having my first apartment, dating. While my friends were doing that I was playing house.
      Part of the reason I got married young was because I had no direction after High School. My mom was kind of giving me that “Time for you to go” hint and I did not know where to go, what to do. Alvin (my husband) came into my life when I was quite naive, he did things for me that I was not used to. Not having a father when I was growing up made a huge difference in my life. He treated me like I imagined a dad might. He cared about me.
      We met in May, were engaged by July and married by October, all in the same year (1983) I did not know until a few weeks after I got married that I was pregnant.
      Do I feel I gained any life experience? Wow, I’m sure I have. I know that I would never want to be that naive 19 year old again. But I’m still a work in progress, I don’t think I’ve gotten to the good part just yet.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Jan 6, 2009
    • My husband and I lived together for about a year before we got married. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
      I want to know the habits of a creature I’m going to be spending the rest of my life with.
      However, he didn’t snore back then! LOL




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jan 6, 2009
    • NO! he was in his apartment at the time of our courtship and I had the home. We moved in together after marriage.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Trudy S wrote Jan 6, 2009
    • Yes and Yes.  It was the right thing at the time.   We were both in our late 30’s and knew what we were doing.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Jan 6, 2009
    • Thank you, my sister. It has been rough, you know of some of the things I have been through. But I can say in all honesty, this marriage is the only thing I have maintained for any length of time. How? I have no clue! LOL!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Jan 6, 2009
    • I got married when I was 23. I don’t feel like I missed anything, but after 22 years, I feel like there is still alot to be done. There are so many things I want to accomplish now that I have my kids grown.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      3sa wrote Jan 6, 2009
    • I am living with the love of my life right now for about 18 months, but I have not ever before lived with anyone, and No I would never again! It’s against how I was raised and I still feel weird about it even though I’m 46!  

      We both have been married before twice.  I’ve known and loved this man however for 29 years of my life and our paths have finally met again (we dated when we were 17 years old and then broke up). We hooked up here and there over the years and always kept in touch, but 18 months ago the timing was right and we reunited.  This time forever, and I’ll take him anyway I can get him.  I’m just giving it some time, whatever will be will be.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carine Nadel wrote Jan 6, 2009
    • oh lordy, no!  my parents would have literally died of disappointment and embarrassment! LOL!  However, not only did our daughter and son live w/ their spouses (one’s an almost at this moment), but they lived with us!

      We figured we’d rather them live in a decent neighborhood and save up for their futures than get into debt before they even started.

      okay, it worked for our son (he’s like us, a real saver), but oh my, our daughter!

      We brought our sil to be here so they could pay off their debts.  No matter what we gave them as role models-oy vez-they just don’t get it.  

      Now, we will help by bringing the diapers/wipes/etc for the grandkids, but we simply will not give them “money to help” anymore.  Merchandise they have to use on what it was intended for, but we see what happens otherwise.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jan 6, 2009
    • It goes against my beliefs but I do not knock anyone that does.  I didn’t live with mine either.  Got married way too young...but I was bound and determined to get married while in college.  I wish my parents would have stopped me.  Had a huge wedding (well huge at THAT time)..nothing like what they have these days....and got pregnant not too long after we got married.  I feel like I missed out on a lot of things....but then again..I’m glad I had my children young.  I am enjoying my time back now.  I certainly do not want to go back and relive any of that time.  I like my age now.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Jan 6, 2009
    • I did 2 times before roger and with roger.

      for me, it was the right thing to do as it showed who they really were. I ran 2 times before i got married. Thankfully.

      Rog and I did as well and I knew he was the right one. almost 16 years here through the good and the hell and the sickness. estatic




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Raysa Santana wrote Jan 6, 2009
    • I didn’t the first time and I wish I had because I probably would not have married my ex-husband.  Because of that my second husband and I lived together for over a year before we got married.  You learn a lot about someone when you live with them.  Not only their habits, but how they handle conflict, stressful situations and financial issues.  Like I said, if I would have lived with my ex I would not have married him.  He failed in all of those categories.




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