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anonymous Anonymous

Q & A

MOTHERS DAY-A friend had a mis-carriage in her 8th month 20 years do you consider her a mother she does not have children?  I said anyone can give birth it takes nurturing, love, time spent with child to be a mother. She  gets depressed on Mothers Day, does not spend time with her own mother.
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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote May 6, 2013
    • I can see where she would be depressed that she didn’t get to be a mother to that child.

      I would agree with you that if she has no other children, then she’s not a mother.  BUT, that’s something best not said aloud.  Sometimes you gotta bite your tongue and walk away.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote May 6, 2013
    • I agree with Tuliplady!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote May 7, 2013
    • At 8 months along, I’m sure she felt like a mother, and has a right to her feelings.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote May 7, 2013
    • How very sad that must have been for her.  I remember when Michelle Duggar (19 Kids & Counting) lost her last child in utero, it was devastating and she was not that far along as your friend.  I agree with Tulip and Mzd also.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Daphne wrote May 16, 2013
    • It sounds quite insensitive to tell someone that she is not a monther for the reasons that you state.  If she identifies herself as a mother (or mother-figure), who are you (or anyone else) to tell her otherwise?  Being that she has no other children and that she lost a nearly full-term baby, I’ll bet she identifies very strongly with that child being her only CHILD. For a person to minimize or contradict that is cruel.  

      My heart goes out to anyone who has to deal with the loss of a child...and the idea that “anyone can give birth it takes nurturing, love, time spent with child to be a mother” is, IMO, completely false.  NOT “anyone” can give birth...just ask the millions of women who go to great lengths to bring a child of their own into this world.  

      I have known several women in my lifetime whom i consider a strong role model and “mother figure“, for the exact reasons you state above (nurture, love, time spent).  I wasn’t “mothered” by just one woman and i’ll bet most of the rest of us weren’t, either!




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