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Q & A

How does one accept the end of a relationship and move on without hurting, and missing the person?  In addition how do you ever trust again?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • Good question.... I will have to get back to you on this.....




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • I don’t think you can end a relationship without hurting and missing that person. I believe it’s the hurt that makes us stronger. In time it gets easier.
      Trust will take time. But you have to remember not to judge the next person by the ex.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ms-kay wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • It will definitely take time to heal emotionally. Just know that this person was in your life for a reason and though we wish it was forever...their time was only temporary.

      Keep a journal and write your feelings down on paper. Don’t keep feelings bottled up.  

      In time your heart will heal completely and only then will you be able to trust again.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michelle Walker wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • Ok Vikki.

      But Ingrid what if you were single for seven years by choice (that’s taking time), a mans comes into your life with an approach and behaviours periodically that are familiar to pass experiences its extremely difficult not to remember what you went through.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • Pain & sorrow are normal expected emotions anytime we lose something we love/had loved. Time does ease the intensity of these feelings. In the time it takes, keep mentally & physically active....and lean on your support network...including all of us here.

      Trust...Even though our past colors everything we are and do in the present and future, it is best to learn how things could have gone differently and try to apply these lessons to moving forward. As Ingrid said, don’t expect the same behavior from a new person...let everyone stand as an individual and show you who they are.  Innocent...until proven guilty. Easy to say, harder to do...just keep it in mind with each new relationship.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jennifer Stewart wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • I totally agree with Ingrid.  There’s always hurt involved when something substantial ends.  You may have been ready to move on and most of the time remember the bad reasons why you wanted to end it.  But, you’ll always miss the happy memories you had with that person and hope that the breakup wasn’t so bad that you can’t let yourself remember.

      As far as trust goes....you have to trust yourself first of all and believe that you will find happiness again.  After you are ok with yourself you can then let love in and trust someone else again.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michelle Walker wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • Ms. Kay I thought seven years had done that until I allowed myself to try again.  And it seems the very one I allowed into my comfort zone took me back down memory lane.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michelle Walker wrote Jan 16, 2009
    •  ok ladies I guess you can't pick that beautiful rose without getting pricked by a few thorns.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • Are you able to work with a trained professional like a therapist?  That will be my suggestion.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michelle Walker wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • I never tried that Chinadoll but will consider.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • Summer...
      I agree with Jenni and the rest of the ladies.
      You can never loose someone you love and not go through pain.
      It is the same as mourning a death of a loved one.

      I would also like to add that there is nothing to do but be in this moment.
      Try to focus on what’s going on right at this moment because that is all that really exist. Trying to rush your process will only makes it worse and you will miss the lessons that are there for you to learn.

      As far as trust goes, you are going to eventually have to allow yourself to become vulnerable again.
      Being vulnerable is not a bad thing. It is the only way that we can accept love... by being open.
      But this means you need to remain aware in your next relationship, follow your heart and listen to what is really being said to you.

      That’s why it’s so important not to rush your process right now. Rushing makes you unable to hear the answers to all the questions I’m sure you are asking right now.
      I hope this makes sense.
      Peace
      Carol




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michelle Walker wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • I’m feeling like if I could convince myself that he never existed, maybe that would help.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • Summer, that will not help.  It is an onion peeling process.  One skin at a time.  That’s why I suggest a trained therapist.  So you are guided to peel.  You seem to be stuck at a certain level and some assistance will definitely help.  If $ is not too much of an objective, I would encourage you to work that out so you can move on and grow.  With much love and care.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ms-kay wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • SummerB - I’m in no way a psychologist happy but time only allows you to heal..unfortunately it doesn’t change the type of men we date. That’s up to us!

      We can only hope the next guy...will be “the one” but something has to be different about him that doesn’t put him in the same category of past losers. Once he gives off a familiar and uncomfortable vibe....then it’s time to say “See Ya“!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • In all honesty it will hurt for a long while because you have deep feelings inbedded wihtin for that person so it will take time, sometimes we NEVER get over a person but we do somehow learn to move on. You just have to take it one day at a time and not forget that YOU matter even without the person.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • Minnow...I love that quote and believe it is so true!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mb03 wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • Minnow right on!  Beautiful quote.
      Summer I’m so sorry you are going through this painful process. Time does heal all and I believe that all of life’s experiences are lessons for us to learn from. So ask yourself~ What is right about this situation? I know it might not seem that there is a damn thing right with it but I guarantee you there is. Just allow yourself to be in the moment and allow yourself to grieve for the loss of the relationship. What if we never made a wrong decision? What if every decision we’ve ever made was to get us to where we are now? Keep learning and be open to receive what is coming to you with ease, joy and glory.
      As for trust you will be able to trust again and like Minnow’s quote says just “trust the person to be who they truly are not who you want them to be.”  No judgments and no attachments to the outcome.  You only have control over your thoughts, feelings and reactions.  You can not control others.  Learn to trust yourself and allow yourself to be the infinite being that you are and allow yourself to step into your potency.  

      Maribeth




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michelle Walker wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • Thank you all for wisdom and words of encouragement.  Tomorrow is a new day.




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