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Has anyone stopped talking to their Mom because she’s crazy and you just can’t deal with her anymore?

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Jenz41, my adoptive parents split up when I was about 14, a very vulnerable age.  I was close to my Dad, and was definitely a Daddy’s girl.  My brother who also was adopted before me, hated when I came on the scene when he was 6, hence we were never close, he hated me forever.  I was only close to my Dad, we had fun together, unfortunately my mother and I never quite clicked.  I was a typical little Leo, dancing and singing in my bedroom to 45’s, then playing guitar for family, friends, etc..very extroverted.  My mother has always been antisocial and hypercritical of everyone and everything.  Never approved of my friends, boyfriends, jobs or any other part of my life.  She was a complete control freak when I was young, when I reached teenage years I started to see the relationship with her dissipating.  I tried over the years many many times to get her to open up, share some emotions and get through our problems.  She was never willing, and in total denial her whole life.  Very sad, I had to break away, for my own inner health.


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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Feb 1, 2009
    • I wouldn’t call my (adoptive) Mom crazy. More like completely emotionally unavailable & angry at the world. Not sure why & it’s not as though no one has asked. Long story short, she basically adopted kids & decided somewhere around the time I turned 18 that she no longer wanted the job.
      So.. not so much one can do about THAT one. My friends borrow me their Moms (lol) & my Grandmother & Aunt are fabulous.
      Bottom line, I’ve literally got no relationship with ‘Mom.’




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deanna Moon wrote Feb 1, 2009
    • Wow, Jenz41 I think we had the same mother, and I am also adopted, and disconnected from her presently due to her emotional unavailability, and complete denial of how she treated me.  My Dad remarried, thank God, at least he got saved from her.  I have no relationship with my adoptive mother, for my own sanity.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Feb 1, 2009
    • It’s her loss, Jenz!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Feb 1, 2009
    • Wow.
      Thanks Inakika! And you‘re right! She’s shut herself off from such important things/people/relationships.

      And Deanna- it’s all such a very loaded subject, isn’t it? Wierd indeed. I’ve analyzed it up one side & down the other & sadly, that woman would be more than happy to let me accept responsibility for her ways; sort of like some strange blame game or something. It’s a subtle one, but I’m happy I saw things for what they are & dealt with it. Thank GOD. If I hadn’t been headstrong & determined in respect to standing up for what I strongly believed, I likely would have ended up an anxious wreck with huge abandonment issues. YIKES.
      Interestingly, this is a fabulous place & a safe one at that to discuss the topic when the need arises.
      How awesome is that?
      I also get the feeling you dive into music similarly to the way I do. (I play guitar etc also) Music’s been a saving grace to me a million times. :)
      May I ask what happened with your Mom? (Not trying to be too forward.)




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deanna Moon wrote Feb 1, 2009
    • Jenz41, my adoptive parents split up when I was about 14, a very vulnerable age.  I was close to my Dad, and was definitely a Daddy’s girl.  My brother who also was adopted before me, hated when I came on the scene when he was 6, hence we were never close, he hated me forever.  I was only close to my Dad, we had fun together, unfortunately my mother and I never quite clicked.  I was a typical little Leo, dancing and singing in my bedroom to 45’s, then playing guitar for family, friends, etc..very extroverted.  My mother has always been antisocial and hypercritical of everyone and everything.  Never approved of my friends, boyfriends, jobs or any other part of my life.  She was a complete control freak when I was young, when I reached teenage years I started to see the relationship with her dissipating.  I tried over the years many many times to get her to open up, share some emotions and get through our problems.  She was never willing, and in total denial her whole life.  Very sad, I had to break away, for my own inner health.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Owlmaria wrote Feb 2, 2009
    • Yes, about 7 years ago. I stopped calling her mom & refer to her mother as mine! My grandmother & great-aunt taught me everything I needed to learn when I was growing up. It had gotten so bad that by the time my dad died(in Dec.‘08)that I hadn’t seen him either in years & spoke to him on the phone last summer when he had lung surgery. He died w/ us having not spoken b/c I didn’t respect his wife. She was no mother to me & I was the oldest daughter. I had a sister like another blog, being discussed.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Feb 2, 2009
    • I’m so sorry you ladies have gone through this- I have a great relationship with my Mum & Dad ..

      My parents have been the most positive force in my life - my mother was my business mentor ....She now looks after my affairs - we holiday together every year for two weeks - total US time no calls no nothing just having a laugh and eating joking - it saddens me when people don’t have that




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Esther Bloom wrote Feb 18, 2009
    • Oh yes,estatic But I talk to her today because she has short term memory lose. Before I would ask her not to talk about certain things and she would anyway!!! Crazy is what she made me!!! Good luck...I have been told that if your family was not your family would they be your friend???




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Gottagorightnow wrote Feb 18, 2009
    • foxehop, I know what you mean - I feel horrible admitting this but I once said to my mother that if we weren't mother & daughter, I never  would have selected her to be a friend in my life (because I just don't like who she is).  Sad....




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