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How can I get divorced when I dont have my own income?  I have two children, and divorce will be difficult for them, and if I have to leave our home (which is they only home they have ever known) cause of my financial situation,  it would flip their life upside down and sideways!  Any advice?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Onevision wrote Feb 8, 2009
    • Is there any way to work things out queenb.....divorce is sooo hard!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Onevision wrote Feb 8, 2009
    • Yes, I stayed with my parents for about six months and then I bought my own house. I had a good job. My ex got the house because his father was on the mortgage note.....I learned a big one there! Everything should be divided equally since you don’t work. You should get alamony and child care if you are the cutodial parent. Ask around and get an excellent lawyer. Do you have savings?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Holdonloosely wrote Feb 8, 2009
    • queenb, first you need to apply for some assistance so your children can eat. Then find your county child support unit and file for those kids. If you are on assistance, the fee may be waived, if your county charges one. If you have to pay, borrow it, your children are worth it. Then worry about the divorce. Child support orders, should not be tied to divorce decrees anyway.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Onevision wrote Feb 8, 2009
    • Great advise Teeky! I divorced when my son was 5, he is now 11, almost 12. Neither one of us can imagine our lives without my current husband....we love him so much! If you still love your ex, work it out. Otherwise you deserve happiness!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Feb 8, 2009
    • Listen to Teeky.  

      There’s nothing I can say as I have not exp’d marriage or divorce. I am a mom however & I know we know how to make things work more than anyone else does, particularly when it comes to survival.
      I hope everything works out the way you would like it to.

      Hugs,
      J.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Termite wrote Feb 8, 2009
    • Teeky, that is great advice!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marionjayne wrote Feb 8, 2009
    • I kind of felt the same way a few years ago. “Fear” of losing my home, possiblly losing my kids, being on my own... I thought I could stick it out until my youngest graduated high school in four years. Then one day my youngest son said to me “Mom, why don’t you just divorce him, he is so mean to you?” OMG, here all this time I was trying to stick it out for him because of all these “fears” I had. Then I asked myself what am I teaching my son about love and relationships? I decided to walk through my fears and contacted a lawyer and filed for divorce. I still have my home, the kids and I am in a wonderful relationship with a man who truley respect me. I went back to praticing my faith and attending church. My relationship with my kids is beter than it has ever been. My BFF would allway tell me ” God didn’t bring you this far to drop yoou on your head”




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Felicia Wynne wrote Feb 8, 2009
    • Thank you all for your support & advice.  This marriage is in bad shape, and has been for a while.  He left my kids and I 6 years ago, just walked out the door and left me with nothing.  I filed for divorce but ran out of money in the process and let things slide when I shouldn’t have.  After 4+ years of separation, I was foolish to belive he changed his abusive ways and let him come home (the house was Quit Claimed to me).  For a short time things were ok, he wasn’t a total jerk, but slowly it is back to the same old routine and this is where I am today, unhappy and dread when his car pulls in the driveway.  I never know what to expect when he walks through the door, it is getting unbearable.  I pulled through when he left the first time, and will have to do the same now.  It just stinks that I’m a slow learner and thought I was doing the right thing when I allowed him back into our lives.  

      BOY WAS I WRONG AS IT GETS!!

      Thanks again ladies, your advice is appreciated.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Feb 8, 2009
    • Queenb: You did it and you can do it again.  This time is much different.  You have the experience, you are stronger, you are wiser, the pain will still be there but can be lesser or shorter.  Another thing, you have us here to root for you, though we cannot do that for you, we are here for you!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marionjayne wrote Feb 9, 2009
    • Queenb,  "I was foolish to belive he changed his abusive ways"  - If there is abuse going on it will only get worse.  

      “I pulled through when he left the first time, and will have to do the same now.” - This you can do again!  

      My prayers are with you and your children.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Feb 9, 2009
    • Is the house still yours? Well change the locks, put his stuff on the street. Depending on the state you live in you can do a do it yourself divorce. Yes its easier to have a lawyer but if out is what you want and money is the only thing holding you back then try a do it yourself. At least to file and get things rolling.
      Once you take that 1st step the rest falls into place.




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