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My 11 year old daughter hates school. It is a struggle every morning to get her to go.  i am already at work when she leaves for school and my mother calls me telling me that she refuses to get on the bus.  I know that she has had some problems with a girl in her class but we talked with the principal and I thought it was over with.  any suggestions on how to get her to not fuss about going to school.  I have even told her if she fusses in the mornings or at night that I am taking her Wii away for that day.  And I DO....she fusses about that too but whatever....Any suggestions would be great...

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jomi wrote Feb 9, 2009
    • My daughter was like that.  She was better if I drove her to school.  Turns out she was afraid of the bigger kids on the bus.

      It might not be a school issue, but a bus issue.  I see that you are at work,but if this is the case would your Mom be able to take her?

      Did someone bully her or did something embarrasing happen recently?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Feb 9, 2009
    • Something else is going on. I suspect there is still a problem at school that she may not be telling you about.
      You say there was a problem but you two talked with the Principal and you thought it was over. But do you really know for certain that it is.
      When I was being bullied at school I told no one because my mom did not seem interested. Instead I played hooky and stayed home. Even though you are interested and have gone to the school to confront the situation, there may be more lurking in the background.
      You need to have a nice, long talk with your daughter, maybe take her out to her favorite place and do it. A relaxed environment may make it easier for her to open up to you. Explain your concerns to her. This may be just what she was waiting for.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ms-kay wrote Feb 9, 2009
    • I agree also that something else may be troubling her and she’s afraid to mention it.  

      Have a talk with her teachers/guidance counselor to check on how her behavior is in class.  

      But definitely have a long heart to heart talk with her. Let her know that you are there for her no matter what.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Termite wrote Feb 9, 2009
    • When my girls were younger, I would take one day every other week and take one of my daughters out to dinner and shopping. It would give us time together to talk and catch up on things one on one. I know when you ask your children...“how was your day” you are going to get a generic answer. It will be either it was good, or boring etc. I decided to start asking my girls, what was the best thing that happened in school today, then I would ask what was the worst thing that happened in school today. That way, they have to think about it. She just may tell you what is going on.

      As far as the bus, I am a school bus driver (as a second job), and I have had parents call me and ask if I noticed anything going on on the bus. I am more than willing to keep my eyes open and check it out for the parents without the students knowing. Can you call the bus garage and ask for her bus driver to please return your call? I am sure if you just talk to them, they will be able to let you know how she is on the bus. I have a great relationship with my parents and students. The school bus is an extention of the classroom, and the same rules apply. Ask the driver who she sits with, does she have an assigned seat? And if so, find out if she gets along with that student that she sits with. She may have a seat that is close to the older kids and she feels intimated by that. If that is the case, I would ask the driver to please change her seat. Usually, that is not a problem at all. I am sure if you speak with the driver, they will be more than happy to accomodate you. I know that I am always willing to accomodate the parents, believe me...it makes my job much easier if everyone is happy.
      Hope this helps.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Onevision wrote Feb 9, 2009
    • Great advise ladies! It sounds like another student is causing her distress. Ask your daughter how she could solve the problem and tell her you will help in any way that you can.

      I would definitely try to have your daughter talk with a counselor. Maybe one who is not associated with her school, that might (?) be less threatening. Set up a positive behavior system. When she does what she needs to do, give her tokens (what ever she picks to be tokens). When she gets so many tokens, she gets to pick an activity....something that is reasonable for you and something she REALLY wants. If the activity is not motivating, then she won’t work for it. Does she have other places to make friends outside of school? That might be an idea as well. I wish you the best and hang in there!

      School staff have a wealth of information on your child. Ask to have a meeting with everyone sitting around the table. Bring a friend or your husband with you if you want support. Talk things out and ask lots of questions. The school will be very happy to get a plan laid out!




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