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Q & A

Have you ever gone through a time where your self-confidence took a “nose dive?”
If so, what did you do to get it back & feel better?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • For a very self confident person my husband leaving was a huge shock .. So after the weeping and wailing I just looked around at how many folk had rallied to my side and thought of all the positive things they told me – I then thought let me use that and get me back to my old self.

      We are all basically great people and have great qualities but sometimes the inner negative voice drowns out the happy voice and you just have to stop and think ...... then slap on the war paint and face the demons




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Saylor101 wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • Only once - - PLEASE!! Yes, Yes, & yes.  I wallow in self-pity for a short while (they get shorter all the time).  Then I pamper myself, put all my most flattering outfits to the front of my closet, start working on self-motivation.... I do affirmations of my worth - which I already knew, but needed to remind myself of........

      It all comes back - usually stronger.  

      I also have a small group of people that are very watchful of me and do not allow me to think less of myself than I am....Thank the Dear Lord for them!  

      xo




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ms-kay wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • Yes I admit I have...it was right after the birth of my daughter....I put on weight and I wasn’t feeling confident about how I looked. My friends (who didn’t have kids at the time) helped me accentuate my new “Body of Love“...by getting a new wardrobe and makeover!

      Some days that negativity wants to flood my mind...but I don’t allow it!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • Thanks. happy

      I like that- slap on the warpaint & go fight the demons. So true! happy

      I know what does this to me. I refer to it privately as “an ex flare-up.” This ‘flare-up’ has successfully been a pain in my ass for the past 2 days. It makes no sense to me, really. The things he did were really terrible & I am over it- as much as anyone can be, although I’ll say it has changed me to a point. I’ll never understand how anyone can be so rotten. Anyway, thoughts about all of it come back like some sort of flashback occasionally, it hurts a bit, I get bummed or pissed off privately of course, I’ll feel sort of like isolating for a day or 2 (which also gets on my last nerve)- it’s not fair. I shouldn’t have to even think about that stuff. I feel sort of stupid even bringing it up. Bottom line, it gets to me occasionally, my self-confidence goes out the window for a couple of days, then it comes back. It happens less & less as time goes on.
      Saylor, you‘re right- it does come back stronger.  

      UGH- how depressing already. Sorry..
      Welcome to my ‘dark side.’   grrrr




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • MsKay that’s a great idea...
      I do need a new car... perhaps I’ll buy myself a new car for V-day then send myself a thank you note. hahaha
      “To ME from ME” lol lol




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Clyn wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • I was told by my ex that because of my disability I was unlovable. I so understand ex flare up syndrome. It took me years to believe my boyfriends feelings were real and at times I go back to thinking hes holding on while looking for better, which is not only destructive to the relatonship, its very bad for my confidence and self esteem.
      To kick this crap I pamper myself,makeup hair nice clothes and remind myself I look good and Im good inside too. I go about my day making an effort to smile and give off warm fuzzies, reinforcing posative energy in myself and everyone around me.
      I also unfortunatly do shopping therapy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • YES!!! after my divorce from my EX-husband I truly went to a low place, it was a hard thing for me to have to try and raise my girls by myself, but I did it! I picked myself up and dust myself off and said I can make it without him and I took it day by day, step by step and continued on with my daily activities and did what I had to do for my girls and I and when I look back now I take nothing for that journey thank you Lord, for I know it was then that He carried me though it all.

      "Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but how much love we put in that action Mother Teresa."




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ms-kay wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • Now that would be Fab, J!! happy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • My self confidence has taken a bit of a nose dive today, so this post is very timely.

      I went and registered for college yesterday.  Big scary step!!  And today I am all “is this the right thing to do?”  “Can I afford to do this?” “I’ll be 42 when I start classes, am I nuts?!?”  

      So, today I’m doing something I do very well.  I’m baking up perfectly scruptious valentine goodies and later on I will put on the warpaint and go deliver them to friends and neighobrs.

      Tulip




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dtro wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • Good for all of you! I pray that you and others in your situation continue to keep your chins up.

      I took a severe downward turn after dealing with my mother’s illnesses (many years) and grieving over her death.
      I gained weight, depression, CFS, acid reflux & IBS,among other things.

      I had to quit my job and my husband made me join a health club. I don’t really do the machines but going to the classes (kickboxing, yoga, etc) turned my life around. At first I had to push myself to go but once I got over the hump, I was transformed. I quit red meat, cook organic, no more fast food, started a fiber supplement. The only Rx I take is for hypothyroid.

      Once my youngest is off to college, I want to re-enter the workforce and do volunteer work. One step at a time...but its good to have goals!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • Tulip- going back to college is scary I know my first day I was my 40th birthday and sat with 24 - 19year olds .. but hey it’s worth and yes it did give me confidence as I suddenly thought of all the crap they had to wade through and I had been there done that and got the badge and tee shirt - so have fun ..




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      3sa wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • Yes I lost my self confidence but not my self worth . After my divorce, I was phased out of my job, and then lost my home. By having my self worth in tact I was able to RISE, RISE, and RISE......Let me share this with you from something I read.

      WHAT IS SELF-WORTH?

      The worth of something is how much we value it and love it for itself, how important it is to us, and how much priority we give it compared to other things. Self-worth is an overall measure of how much we value ourselves and give priority to our own needs and happiness. Our self-worth is a measure of our unconditional self-love.

      High self-worth means loving ourselves unconditionally in all situations and in all areas of our lives. To have a high degree of self-worth, then we must still love ourselves even when we make mistakes or do dumb things—no matter how bad they were.

      There are a lot of confusing “self” terms—self-worth, self-concept, self-esteem, self-confidence, etc. Think of self-esteem as composed of two parts—the unconditional part, and the conditional part. The unconditional self-valuing part is our self-worth. The conditional self-valuing part is our self-confidence. The most important part is the self-worth (unconditional self love) part.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jean Walter wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • I’m not sure if this qualifies as an answer but going through an abusive marriage for so long took a huge toll on my self-confidence. I mean, when you have someone constantly beating you down and verbally beating you up as well, you lose that self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth!
      It wasn’t until after I left with my 2 little ones and made it on my own that I felt I was worth something. To feel independence and accomplishment is so rewarding!
      Even today, when I feel myself starting to take a nose-dive, I plug in my IPOD, turn up the tunes, start pouring myself in to one of my photography projects and then sit back and watch. When I feel accomplished my self-confidence soars!
      It sometimes creeps back up when I am feeling unsure about a decision I’ve made but then I just reevaluate the situation and convince myself that I am confident with myself.
      Everyone has a bad day now and then or gets stuck in a “funk” but here at FAB40 it is our job to “slap” ya out of it...LOL
      Jen~ I know you play the guitar...does that help?  I don’t play very well, but sometimes it helps!

      =)




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachmombabe wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • Jenz, right now start making a list of all the positive things about your self. You can include physical attributes, but don’t limit to them. Nothing is too small to recognize. Then write yourself a letter, encouraging yourself in all these things. You might want to add the things you’d like to learn to do or encourage yourself to experience new adventures.

      Blessings,
      Coachmombabe
      http://www.shilohhomeofhope.org

      "Treat others as if they are who they ought to be and you help them to become who they are capable of becoming." Goethe




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • I’m glad I mentioned this today. Thank you everyone for the wisdom you always seem to have an endless supply of. Luv ya!
      xoxoxoxoxo




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Paris Mano wrote Feb 10, 2009
    • I got a divorce and my self confidence and self esteem has risen to higher levels than ever.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shopgirl1960 wrote Feb 11, 2009
    • Jen, thank you for this blog. I think we all have self confidence issues from time to time and just knowing that we are not alone makes us feel SO much better.
      And I can tell you are a warm and wonderful person by the things that you write.... YOU are so very valuable and wonderful to all of your friends! Here’s to You Jen and the wonderful person You are!

      Big Hugs!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sunnyshar wrote Mar 23, 2009
    • Jenz41 - What you wrote was exactly like how I felt. It’s a little comforting I guess you could say knowing that someone else is going through the same sort of thing. It’s not good to keep it inside and I have been really learning and trying to practice that as I get older. It has been getting better though every day and I am so much happier for leaving the person I was with. I am also so happy for getting out sooner rather than later. I’m sure you feel the same!

      Take Care
      Sharon




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