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I am presently in my fourth month of not seeing my 26 year old daughter(this was the first Christmas I’ve not been with her).  She started getting into drugs at age 15, had a baby out of wedlock at age 21 (thankfully my grandson is normal)and is still on drugs. She is living with a man who beats her and is a steroid abuser (he is NOT my grandson’s father).  She had lived at my house for almost two years with my grandson until she became paranoid and thought I had cameras in her room!  I am supporting the biological father’s decision to get sole custody.  He is a very nice and responsible man who allows me to see my grandson. My daughter flunked three drug tests and is only allowed supervised visitation once a week with my grandson.  I guess I just feel so overwhelmed.  Anyone else have a similar problem with their children?  How did you handle it?  Did they ever get help and get sober?  My daughter refuses to believe anything is wrong with her. She claims I paid the doctors to have the three different tests come out positive (she tested positive for meth twice and then cocaine).  It is if I don’t even know who she is any longer. I am emotionally, financially and physically burnt out by all of her craziness.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Feb 24, 2009
    • I feel your pain - emotionally, financial and physical.  It is your daughter.  You love her.  You said “How could this be?”  “What have I done wrong?”  “Why do you do that to me or to yourself?“....  

      Unfortunately, this is no quick fix.  I am sure you know drugs are hard to break.  The addicts’ first stop is to accept they have the problem.  From what you stated, she is not there yet.

      Till then, you have to exercise tough love.  Though you miss her but do not enable her.  Meanwhile, you need some helps for support and also, hate to say, be on your knees and God hears.  

      All my thoughts and prayers.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Latoldy wrote Feb 25, 2009
    • I am going on my second year this April of not having seen or heard from my 26 year old daughter. She left her babies behind with her “X” and he is raising them both.
      Tough love is the answer. This is the second time she has done this to our family and returned after 3 years.
      I love her, pray for her and leave the door open; but will not be an enabler to her wreck less lifestyle.
      The way I have gotten through this is one day at a time, praying, believing and trusting that God will protect her and remain by her side, asking for her to follow Him.
      I will keep you in my prayers!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Feb 25, 2009
    • Yes, i agree.. TOUGH LOVE is the way to go! my parents did that with me.. its not easy for either side, but it needs to be done..

      i wasn’t into the real hard drugs.. i was more into alcohol.. i have been clean and sober 24 3/4 years, and APPRECIATE what my parents did..

      i will keep you both in Prayer..




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Blindeyepug wrote Feb 25, 2009
    • Thank you so much, all of you, for your answers and support.  I do pray every day and feel, for now, that is the best I can do.  I am so glad, linni, that you are clean and sober. Also, latoldy, thank you for your words of experience and kindness.  I will keep you, also, in my prayers.  It is just so sad; such unnecessary heartache and pain all around.  Prayer does seem to be the best and only answer at this time.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Feb 25, 2009
    • I wish you are premium or at least platinum level.. so you can start a group in this area.  Mmmm, name of group “Caregiver to the addicts” ...still pondering.




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