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Q & A

Have you been or are you in being a Single Mother position?

Since when? For how long? What is your total take on this?  Most of the challenges & rewards.... just to share.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Debbie McGinn wrote Mar 4, 2009
    • I have been a single mother.  My exhusband left when I was pregnant with our second child.  It was hard at first.  Thanks goodness for my mother - she moved in with me a few weeks before I had my daughter and stayed with me for 2 months after that.  I was not one to put my children in day care - I did work from home as a Mystery Caller/Evaluator for a few years.  Eventually, I became an AVON Representative and I watched my neighbors children.  We sacrificed over the years, but it was worth it.  A few times I thought I would get assistance, but didn’t - I figured someone else needed it more than we did.  I love my children dearly and I did what I felt was right for them.  Eventually, I remarried, and have been married now for almost 11 years.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Alleyne-Hill wrote Mar 4, 2009
    • Well, I was a single mom even when I was married to my ex-husband...lol..My ex did absolutely nothing to help me raise our 2 daughters and my 1 daughter by another relationship. He never really took her in as his own child, although he’d say he did, we knew.

      When my children have to go to Georgia on their court appointed visitations, it’s hell on us all. They really don’t want to spend the time with him, but they know they have to, they also know if it was up to me, I wouldn’t make them go. When the girls come home, I have to ‘debug’ them. He lets them get away with just about any and everything, spoils them to no end, buys their love. And then I have to get my children back to how I need and want them to be, until the next time.

      When I finally left I knew it would change our lives forever. Dating as a single mum was quite challenging, but I have no regrets because my husband found me and now I don’t have to raise my children alone.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Mar 4, 2009
    • My ex left me with another woman when my baby was 18 months old.  In fact, he left earlier.  At first it was hard.  I kept asking “Why me?” and felt so sorry for my son that his biological father did not even want to do anything with him.  I felt I was responsible for the divorce and my son was a victim.  

      Little by little, I stayed strong.  I made friends, true friends that helped me along the way.  

      Yes there were nights I shed my pillow wet.  There were nights I was lonely.  There were moments I wanted to end, especially when my son threw a tandem.

      Now my son is 17, go‘g on 18 and I am so proud of how I raised and influenced him.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Esther Bloom wrote Mar 4, 2009
    • I WAS a single mother for years. I just did the best I couldhappy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 4, 2009
    • I never married but did wear the ring and as Gran says, let the man have the milk for free w/o buying the cow. lolol. Granted. Who made up that saying anyway? I joke about it occasionally & state that I’m just doing everything backwards. ;)
      We were together for many years but did not marry. (In the end it turned out to be for the best!)
      Technically, I’ve always been a single Mom as I was not married & my oldest is now 24. I was not alone, but not married either.
      My views? I can’t make a judgement call there. I did what worked for me and my family and we were quite happy, but we went through our share of tough times too. I’ve always been fully aware that I was NOT Mom and Dad. I am Mom. A woman cannot take the place of man, ‘father‘, or ‘dad.’ It’s completely different. I just feel if there is no father figure in the home or the life of the child, then there are other options such as “Big Brothers” or some healthy male figure to assist in teaching the child what the woman cannot fully accomplish because she is the Mother. I hope that makes sense. My kids had their step-Dad as well as their Dad (visitation style) and yes, from time to time, there were longer periods of time than others. Bottom line, you be the best Mom you can be, you teach them as well as you can, and make sure the kids know that you love them no matter what.
      My kids are now adults and I’m very proud of them. :)




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Mar 5, 2009
    • I have been a single momita for forever! lol

      My oldest daughters dad left when i was 3 months pregnant with her, and i moved in with my parents.. Her dad and i were never married.. he chose to stay out of her life until she was 13..( she is 22 now ) and they have a pretty good relationship, which is what i always wanted!

      Now i was married to my 2 younger childrens dad, and you might as well say i was a single parent.. he was in and out of jail our whole short marriage.. lol

      i would die for my children, and am VERY proud of them! it was hard at times with my son, because he had many ” male ” questions, and some i had answers for, and most i didn’t..

      My children were all in Big Birothers, Big Sisters, and it was a blessing for the 3 of them! i have some good men in my son’s life, and although he doesn’t get to see them much, he talks to them on the phone..

      Single parenting is not easy.. there are struggles, and situations that just kill me, however i rely on God to get me through.and that is not easy to do either..

      i always tell my children " i am so lucky that Jesus chose ME to be your momita! because it is true! i am very lucky.. they are the air that i breathe..




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Mar 5, 2009
    • Linni - thats such a lovely sentiment about your children - I brought my daughter up alone from birth it’s hasn’t been easy but it’s worth the rewards everyday ..

      My Alice is a real blessing




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Mar 5, 2009
    • well it is true Vicki.. and i would be lost without them




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Mar 5, 2009
    • After the divorce of my 1st husband the father of my girls it was a real struggle for me, at that time I was barely making minimum wage and the car was a wreck, but God! I didn’t have the support of family or from my ex but I made out I did what I had to do for my girls at that time they were 11 and 7 we were seperated at one point for a year I placed them in the hands of my ex parents where I knew they would be cared for properly and had a clean christian lifestyle while I was living here and their with friends trying hard to work to save my money to purchase a home for my kids. It was hard and after 2 years I was able to purchase my 1st home as well as a brand new car for me and the girls, God truly kept me and made a way for me there is no way I could have done it without HIM!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      3sa wrote Mar 5, 2009
    • I’ve been a single mother since my kids were born, all four, married or unmarried....sorry azz men.  I had financial help, probably only because the STATE forced them...it’s a shame but it’s the past.  I’ve learned and it has made me stronger than I could ever believe.  It has also made me very tired of making all the decision and it has also made me very offensive and wanting to control everything.  Which now I am learning that I don’t have to control everything and can’t...LOL.  It’s all just lesson after lesson!!!  Praise God for teaching me and making me strong enough to survive in times like these, recession please bring it on!!!!!!!!  I’ve alway done WHATEVER it took to supply food and shelter and other neccessity for my children and these times are no different for me.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bluerose wrote Mar 5, 2009
    • Single mom - 12 wonderful years & counting.  Broke up with my boyfriend before knowing I was pregnant.  It was ok though.  I knew I didn’t want to be with him & having a child wasn’t going to change that.  I didn’t want my child living in a home with parents who didn’t want to be with each other.  My ex didn’t want to be a dad to her anyway.  Not until he found out I was dating again.  My beautiful baby was 2 years old & talking so I finally felt comfortable leaving her with her godmother so I could go out on a date.  When my ex found out another man might be interested in me he went ballistic.  All of a sudden he wanted to see his daughter.  I told him that was fine as long as he started child support.  Lawyers got involved.  He found out how much he’d have to paid & lost his mind.  He called me very upset & asked for a deal.  He said he’d never ask to see her again if I’d agree to no child support.  I agreed.  It’s been so wonderful with just me & her.  We laugh & giggle nearly every day.  She wouldn’t know her dad if she passed him on the street & I think she’s a better person for it.  Money isn’t always the best but we get by.  We‘re warm, we‘re safe, & we‘re happy.  God has blessed us in more ways than I can count.




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