Don't have an account? To participate in discussions consider signing up or signing in
facebook connect
Sign-up, its free! Close [x]

Benefits

  • okay Create lasting relationships with other like minded women.
  • okay Blogging, let your voice be heard!
  • okay Interact with other women through blogs,questions and groups.
  • okay Photo Album, upload your most recent vacation pictures.
  • okay Contests, Free weekly prize drawing.
  • okay Weekly Newsletter.

Q & A

Did anybody get nothing in a divorce settlement? How did you handle it? That’s what I’m looking at and I’m not happy.
  •  



Answer this See more Questions

View All Answers

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Mar 11, 2009
    • Do you meas no money, or nothing? No furniture, possessions?




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lilibet wrote Mar 11, 2009
    • I guess it won’t be absolutely nothing. I will get my possessions, my car, my medical bills & student loans. This is my 2nd husband. We were married 4 1/2 years. I would get the house I’m living in if I could refinance it in my name, but the bank refused. He has just taken so much from me during the marriage my money, my spirit, self-esteem, he was abusive. I just want something out of this that’s positive.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Mar 11, 2009
    • My first husband wouldn’t let me take anything out of the house. There was nothing he could do, however, about splitting money with me. He had to give me access to it.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Holly Beck wrote Mar 11, 2009
    • I kept most of the material stuff, but we didn’t own a house at the time, and I didn’t get any money or any of his retirement, etc. I figure he earned it, so....




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheryl Sharpton wrote Mar 11, 2009
    • The only thing I wanted in my divorce was my name. I walked away from everything and took my son and my maiden name.  I have to say that I’m the better for it.  I did not want anyone to lay claim to the happiness I found after divorce.  I have a wonderful husband and life is good.  

      Anniemaggie,
      I am so sorry to hear of the turmoil you endured for 15 years but you are right when you way you are free now.  Life can only get better.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Mar 11, 2009
    • I did get something on the divorce paper (like x amount a month for child support and 1/2 insurance payment, yada yada on our son) but  what good it is if he does not follow the court order.  Yes I could have legal action saying he is in contempt - only if I can find him. ohhhh  So I let Child Recovery Service to take over.  They could not find him first for he tried to work under table.  Later I guess the law changed and allowed CRS to get into DMV record.  They suspended his DL and I don't really know what happened, I think they took his passport too.  He called me out of the blue and asked me not to sue him.  I told him I did not sue him, it was the State that sue him and nothing had to do with me.  He hang up and I never heard of him.  I did receive Child Support on and off and only 1/3 of what he promised.  Now he is running again.  Life will catch up with him and I thank God my son & I survived without his support (even if we meant we had to tighten up our belts sometimes).




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Mar 11, 2009
    • I signed whatever it took to get out of my first marriage.  I could have fought for my share of the assets, but I’d have had to take half the debt as well, so I walked away from it.  

      He and his lawyer gave me 30 days to come get what I wanted out of the house.  In reality, I had about an hour to load stuff up with him dogging my every footstep and bawling about how he wanted me back.

      I left a housefull of antiques, a collection of vintage automobiles (some of which he can’t sell because they‘re in my name, but possesion as they say is 9/10 of the law).

      At the time I signed the papers and walked away thankful to have my life and my sanity.  I got my car, my pickup, my books and four pieces of furniture and my clothes that he had thrown outdoors in his fit of temper.

      If I’d have known how far in the toilet that would put me financially today (seven years later) I would have gotten a lawyer and taken that bastard for  everything!




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Beckysue wrote Mar 12, 2009
    • I walked away from the home I had lived in 8 yrs prior to marrying my now ex husband.  I left behind 2 cars that I owned. The entire contents of my home including clothes, pictures etc., the only things I took were what I could fit into a big black garbage bag and most of that were items for my two daughters age 1 and 2.  I literally left on foot because my husband (ex) had rendered my vehicles inoperable. My two babies and I moved in with my Mother who lived in an retirement park and we had to lay low so that the children were not detected.  We then went into hiding for nearly 10 years moving all over the U.S. I guess my point here would be that the material stuff can be replaced. Your sanity cannot.  Let him have it.  Let it go. Don’t waste another thought or emotion on it.  Have you not suffered enough?  What is done is done and being angry or resentful only makes your heart sick and your spirit broken.  It’s time to get on with your new life, without the icky baggage from your old one. The “stuff” is not worth it.  In time you will find that letting go was not so hard after all.  Best wishes, Becky Sue




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      3sa wrote Mar 12, 2009
    • I agree with BeckySue, I’ve lost things but no my spirt or my self-esteem....take that back if you let him have it!

      The best settlement in the world is that he is GONE!  I settled for that.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lilibet wrote Mar 12, 2009
    • You are right. I should just walk away. But, I just can’t help it. I walked away from my first marriage with nothing. That was an amicable divorce (if there is such a thing). This one I’m really pissed. I don’t love him, and I don’t want him in my life. Why do the men end up with everything even if most of the stuff we have paid for? The properties and other stuff we own he only has because of my good credit. He can’t get anything on his own. I do understand about keeping my sanity & that is only stuff, but d*** it I worked hard for it, I made the downpayments, kept them paid up. Sorry, I’m just really angry.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sgc44 wrote Mar 12, 2009
    • I walked away with nothing...
      The kids and i kinda suffered but they understood, we spoke about out situation and the things would be different for a period of time and the best was yet to come. i grew and so did my children, it was the best move i could have made. It takes a strong woman to may the decision to leave ,and i believe a strong woman you will become. Hold you head up high hunni, Life is too short to waste being unhappy.

      Good Luck Hun

      oxoxoxox




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      3sa wrote Mar 12, 2009
    • I walked away with everything I bought and came with.  I lost my house because I lost my job and couldn’t find employment fast enough.  I bought my house before I was married everytime.  

      I protected myself and my children by doing this.  The only thing I lost in my divorces were $$$ to lawyers because assholes wouldn’t just leave with what they came with...losers.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vasilia wrote Mar 15, 2009
    • I walked away from my second marriage (which lasted about 13 years - no kids, thank god!) and left him everything.  All I took were my personal possessions and at the time everyone thought I was crazy, but he was abusive and hanging around a really rough crowd by the time we separated.  I was honestly afraid he’d kill me if I took anything financial, because money was all he cared about.

      It turned out to be a blessing to just walk away, and my life is great now.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lilibet wrote Mar 16, 2009
    • Vasilia-
      I’m slowing changing my mind and like you my 2nd husband is abusive and drinking heavily. We didn’t have any kids together either. I think you are right it may be a blessing to just leave all the debt and heartache to him. I want something from this horrible situation, but maybe walking away with nothing and debt free is the way to go.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Mar 25, 2009
    • Lilibet,
      I completely sympathize with you!  I got nothing when I divorced except a few household possesions and (this is what allowed me to survive) sole physical custody of my then 3 year old daughter.  I quit my job in Texas and paid for us my husband, daughter, and I to move to California when my ex’s dad died.  The ex inherited $400,000, wouldn’t get a job, and became addicted to intenet porn.  I was not legally intitled to any of the inheritance.  Every month my ex pays his measly $396 a month child support.  I can’t get it increased because he has a lousy, low-paying job.  It cost me $620 in lawyer’s fees to find this out. :( He doesn’t realize that our daughter thinks he’s a total loser and wants nothing to do with him when she turns 18 in 4 years.  In contrast, she knows that I would do anything for her and we are really close.

      Its really hard when you get the short end of the stick like you did, but remember that you are a good person and you will survive!




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      June672 wrote Jul 10, 2011
    • I will most likely be walking away from everything but my personal item(clothes,picture and computer).   He talked me into signing a quick deed a few years ago.   Bad mistake cause now I have no claim to the house.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Hunnypot88 wrote Jul 12, 2011
    • I did not want anything, my peace of mind and freedom were enough for me. So to this day he cannot say I screwed him out of anything.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Jul 16, 2011
    • Wow, the timing of this topic being rejuvenated! It’s just 3 days away now for the financial mediation for ending the divorce started Dec 2, 2009. The court gave me sole possession of the house and temporary spousal support in Feburary 2010. The property and house was paid off so no debt. He has to buy me out. Being that I have a disabling health issue I am not going to just walk away quietly as he wishes I would. He’s tried his best to make it hard and unplesant for me, drag the divorce out hoping I’ll give up, without caring that I don’t have any other options but to stick it out.  

      I’m happy for the divorce. I can’t get back the past 19 years, but I can do something new with the rest of my years. ;oD  

      Cathie




            Report  Reply


Ask a Question






mature content submit as anonymous