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anonymous Anonymous

Q & A

Have you ever had an affair with a married man?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • NO! I’ve already got a married man at home. What on earth would I want another one for?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • Once ... when I was in my 20’s.  My self-esteem was shot & he took full advantage of it.  It was hard to leave, but I did.  I even apologized to his wife.  (He told her about us, I didn’t!)  I’ve never looked back.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Darla5 wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • Good answer Cynthia!!!!!!!!!  I could not say it better myself.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • I have.  More than once.  Each relationship provided me an opportunity to learn and grow. I learned and I grew.  Now I don’t do that anymore.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • Isn’t this the second or third time we’ve had this subject in the past two weeks?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • It’s not my cup of tea! It’s just cheatin no matter the situation....




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • Yes! I have it was in my late teens 18-22 years of age with the same man, he was an older gentleman and had children my age at that time he was very fond of me and he did me well far as keeping me with the finances and material things the sex was ok, but he wanted more so the companionship and the sex fantasies he couldn’t get from home so I played the sex kitten for him, but when I got tired and moved on, he didn’t want to, he became over obsessed with me to the point of me having to move once I got married to my first husband so he couldn’t contact me. After several years had past I ran into him and do you know this man is still to this day obsessed with me but we don’t communicate he has no knowledge of where I am but I do believe if he did he’d want to try to rekindle what once was, but I refuse to go there, I’m happy and much more mature  now and in love with my husband and I love my life and family.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • I’ve come close.  Once - way before kids....  Decided it wasn’t worth it at all.  Have a couple siblings who’ve been there, done that and totally wouldn’t want to be anything like them! And more importantly, I have a wonderful, supportive, loving hub at home who would have been devastated and a good marriage ruined:  mine!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • I could have.
      It was someone I know and have known for some time, also someone I respect and like very much as an ‘A-list’ friend. There was no scandal or drama included in the situation. I saw that he hurt over certain things that were quite serious and painful, however, he worked at it and worked harder than anyone I’d ever known. I think during the time he started ‘going in that direction,’ it wasn’t that he was wanting to hurt anyone and I know he loves his wife very much. It was pretty easy to see why he was ‘going in that direction.’ I wasn’t exactly ecstatic in the love dept at the time myself, by any means. To be wanted like that felt great but saying no was crucial. For myself, and for him whether he could ‘see’ or not.
      Saying no saved a friendship and probably a marriage. He isn’t the cheating type and neither am I.
      At the time, I was pretty lonely & I’m thinking he was also. It wouldn’t make an affair acceptable. Nothing does. Enough about him. As for me, WHY would I DO that? So I can come home alone & hug my pillows because there’s no one here? No thanks. Who needs a reminder of what they don’t have? (Not that I’m miserable alone. I’m not even close.) It would also make me the biggest hypocrite that ever lived. I was cheated on severely and it was one of the most painful times of my life.
      If someone’s lonely or lacking something, deal with it & get your own man. If you‘re the affair having type, quit making excuses for it. There are none. PERIOD.
      Married & cheating? Go sign your “D” papers. Sneaking around is very cowardess. And besides, isn’t a person more deserving of something better than THAT? If you don’t think you are, something’s very broken inside of yourself. Fix it. THEN seek another.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • Flirting is as far as I’ll go with a married man.  The only married man I want is the one I’ve got.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • Just my thought but why do we keep having these questions about affairs when it’s actually quite a raw subject for a number of women on this site as they have just found out their beloved hubby is playing away from home !!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Cahoon wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • Yes but i didn’t know he was married till his wife called me. she was not mad at me just at him. We got him back she came over and was in my front room when he came to pick me up that night and I told him to come in as I had a friend there and boy was he shocked when he saw who it was.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • omg...  I’ve been so busy & on/off of here I didn’t realize someone just got this sort of bad news. What happened? (Sorry to appear ignorant. I wasn’t aware of this matter.)
      Anything I can do?? Who is it? I want to send a card if we‘re friends.... or not. Maybe someone would pm me??




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • oh and ps! I’m not the writer of this blog. I’m just sorry for participating in it if I could have offended someone is all.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Smiley1962 wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • I have never had an affair, sometimes I flirt but that is the extent of it.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • I’m not on the site every day so I’m not aware of past posts.  I’m glad for the question for now I know I’m not alone here in making this big mistake.  Every one has skeletons in their closet.

      Jenz - Please don’t feel bad for posting.  It was good to hear your honesty & insight.  You‘re far braver than I am since I’m hiding behind an “anon” post.  I’m just not comfortable with people knowing this ugly fact about me.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • Gators, SPEAK your mind any time you like.
      Say whatever you want to I say. happy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bluerose wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • I agree with Jenz41.  Gator - Speak your mind & speak it loud!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • Screw backlash, MBG. Keep on keepin' on. It's not like you're some casual observer putting your two cents in, you're living this.

      I have no comment either way on the subject, I am just all about freedom to express yourself.That is the good/bad thing about freedom of speech-we can say what we want, but so can everyone else. we just have to decide whether to let it shut us down or not.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • I have never but one of my friends has.  He was rich and he bought her a house and everything.  She was young then, maybe in her 20s.  He kept telling her he would divorce his wife and married her.  She had 2 kids of him and he went back to his wife.  She did very well in real estate and now she remarried.  Those 2 kids are now in college and the bio dad decided to make up with the kids and pay for the tuition and much more.

      My girlfriend was mad at him but never regret the choice of her kids.  They are darling.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Doreen XoXo wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • Very well said Term...........very true




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • You make very good poi8nts term. I just don’t want anyone to censor themselves because of backlash.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • Right there are always shades of grey, something I have definitely learned in my older age!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Polly W wrote Mar 14, 2009
    • Nope—-wouldn’t do that to myself, much less anyone else, and you know about Karma—-it comes around to collect when you least expect it.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 15, 2009
    • I could ramble on for PAGES on this topic this morning!!
      As far as I’m concerned, the chick (otherwise known as lardass) who was ‘participating’ with my ex, deserves to be knocked on her ass.
      I’m sure my ex will take care of that on a regular basis.
      GOOD!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 15, 2009
    • I really feel terrible for you honey. I know what it feels like when that ‘process’ is new and what the following months are like. For any man or woman to put someone else through that is unforgivable. As for the women out there who knowingly participate, they‘re inconsiderate and stupid. DUH! A man cheats on his wife or girlfriend, wtf makes them so dumb to think he won’t do it to her? OF COURSE he will.  

      Just remember honey, everyone reaps what they sow. People like that are no exception. In the meantime, take his sorry butt to the CLEANERS.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Darla5 wrote Mar 15, 2009
    • If he will cheat with you , he will cheat on you.

      Please don’t believe that you are the exception !!!

      My ex married one of his gals when he was married to me and guess what... he cheats on her now.  

      Several years back she called me and gave her apology to me. You know the story... she was young and did not know, she believed him, he was soooo convincing and so on.

      Well, I told her that she did me a favor and it was the best thing to ever happen to me in the long term. I am married to Don now and he is so great with my children. He is more of a Dad than he will ever be. I told her I thought about sending her a sympathy card when she married him.

      As far as cheating.... girls I have said so much about this subject on this site because once it happens to you it changes you FOREVER !!!!!

       So let me put it this way.

      WHen you get what you want in your struggle for self or SELFISHNESS, just go to a mirror and look at yourself and see what the woman in the mirror has to say. , it is NOT your parents or friends or Fab40 gals whose judgement upon you must pass, IT is the person in the mirror and her verdict that counts most in your life, The one that is staring back at you.

      She is the person to please, for she is with you forever.

      You may fool the whole world and get pats on the back but your finally reward will be tears and heartache if you have cheated the woman in the glass.

      Being with someone elses man is cheating . Cheating  on his wife and kids and family and friends and YOURSELF !  

      It is about looking yourself in the mirror and realizing how important character is rather than the opinion of others or a temporary moment ( or 15 minutes precisely) of pleasure.

      You want that person looking back at you to be your friend and that can only happen if you can look her in the eye.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Elizabeth "Libby" Day wrote Mar 15, 2009
    • Darla, very well spoken.  Nothing speaks to the heart of the matter like personal experience.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Mar 15, 2009
    • AMEN Darla! i so agree with you!

      MBG~ tell it how you feel girl! NOONE has the right to tell you to stop! YOU are going through this, and WE need to be here to help you through this!  

      ( this is for those who have messaged MBG, me or anyone else about what has been posted )

      so many feel like we don’t have the right to talk about how we feel.. well guess what girls.. WE DO! when we do, we are hurting, and ifin ya don’t like it, don’t read it! no one tells you to put a sock in it when you talk about how YOU feel do they?  So MBG, you need to keep your voice being heard!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tina Hengen wrote Mar 16, 2009
    • I have but not knowingly, I had no clue until his wife called, curious about all the calls on her cell phone bill that he was making to me. He didn’t even try to hide it. I felt horrible, answered all of her questions and apologized profusely. The sad thing is children were involved in the whole ordeal. She has since left him and now he keeps trying to contact me but I will not even go there, I deserve better than that. And I am glad she left him too because she deserves better too. This happened quite a while ago and now I am even more bitter towards men.frown




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