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I really haven’t learned how to say no and I am trying to learn to say no without hurting feelings.  Is it hard for you to   say no to someone?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Mar 25, 2009
    • Nearly impossible....haha! But I am also trying to incorporate that into my life. It amazes me how people will blatantly try to manipulate you into saying yes as it suits their purposes....without any regard to what is best for you. When I see that, then I become upset that they think so little of me....it’s a vicious circle! Just gotta ask yourself....“what is good for me?” and go with it.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ms-kay wrote Mar 25, 2009
    • Depending on what I’m rejecting, I usually say “Sorry not this time” or “No thank you” and I don’t have a problem saying flat out - NO!

      It's all in HOW you say it - that the person could have hurt feelings.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Fraz764 wrote Mar 25, 2009
    • I have learned to say no because often saying yes meant saying no to myself in some way.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      3sa wrote Mar 25, 2009
    • Just learning how to say NO myself.  It does suck.  It’s moving out of my comfort zone and feels horrible.  However, I promise you this, the more I do it the easier it gets.  I have also been practicing the fact that NO is a complete sentence.  That one is even harder...LOL

      If no is appropriate just say it there is no easy way.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Mar 25, 2009
    • It's hard but my mother told me to think of all the people you have to say NO to and then if something happened and you needed help how quickly they would say NO .....it's so easy when you  have that voice in your head .........
      I'm really good at it now and let me also say practise makes perfect ....




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Mar 25, 2009
    • No is hard to say and how about “*I rather not* ” it is less harsh.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Mar 25, 2009
    • 3sa.....how right you are! I usually follow some version of “no” with an explanation a mile long....    It is a complete sentence without any explanation or apology necessary.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Mar 25, 2009
    • Boy did I have to learn to say “NO” the hard way.  It is hard at first, but remember as long as you always say “YES“...you are going to be asked to do whatever. As long as you keep doing...the more they will ask.  

      What I had to say was “I would really love to help but at this time I have been advised to not take on too many things.”  When I said that...people would not keep asking and the more I said it the less they asked.  And the more you say it..the easier it becomes.  It’s quite liberating!

      I have even told people that I can only do one project or thing at a time...if it really wasn’t something I wanted to do...I just didn’t do it.  Why do I want to make myself miserable just to pacify someone else?  

      Leeann...with just losing your mother and you’ve been taking care of her for quite a while (which is something you will always treasure)...you need to give yourself some ME time.  The heck with everyone else and if people are asking you to do things at this time...I’m appauled.
      Take care of YOU!happy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      3sa wrote Mar 25, 2009
    • Well CD what if you are telling your child NO....can i go here or there, can I have this or that...blah blah!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Robinesque wrote Mar 25, 2009
    • 3sa, kids are easier.  They tend to ask questions that they know you are already going to say “no” to, so they expect it, but are just checking.

      I say no rather easily, now that I am over 40.  I have decided that if that person cannot handle my “no,” that is not my problem.  It is theirs for expecting me to say “yes!”




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Mar 25, 2009
    • I still say “I rather not” and then he would push me by saying “Why not“.  After awhile, I said “I told you nicely and did you get my No message?”  To be honest, 3sa, I am bad on that when it comes to my own child.  He always gets his way for he know exactly how to push my button. frown

      Perhaps I am not the one to answer this.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Mar 25, 2009
    • What I am hearing and learning is that we need to be secure and true to ourselves. We are not responsible for someone else’s perception or attitude.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deb Darby wrote Mar 25, 2009
    • Grrrrr! My youngest has been a master at not taking no for an answer. I always tried as much as possible to say yes, sometimes with conditions...“Sure!  You can go to the mall when you finish your homework“.
      When I finally had to start saying no to some things (No, you can’t go to the party because you‘re grounded, and if you ask me again, you‘re grounded longer!) she would push and ask why and throw a temper tantrum. It was a really rough couple of years in early High School. I just kept telling myself to get her to graduation ALIVE! Her case ended up being exceptionally difficult to the point that she got into trouble with the law and we sent her to a lock-up boarding school.
      I hope yours is a little more cooperative, 3sa.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      3sa wrote Mar 25, 2009
    • If I have to pay for her to go to school, it’s going to be a BIG problem ....LOL No is just starting to sink in I think with her..NO NO NO....yesterday it was a silent NO...

      Oh yes, the old, even though I’m on punishment can I go to this place with my friends...the Silent NO is....IGNORE and Walk away.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Rebecca Deos wrote Mar 25, 2009
    • I have no problem saying no. And when you learn to say no, suddenly people dissapear, and you realize the only reason you were around is that they were getting something from you.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Mar 25, 2009
    • It took me awhile to learn to say NO or something like it.  With the kids I never had any trouble  they knew better than to ask mom cuz they knew mom would say no.

      Community and work things are a different story.  That took awhile to learn.  Now, I don’t say “no” as such.  If I’m asked to do something that I don’t want to do, I say “Let me check my calendar when I get home, I think I’ve got something else going on that day.”   Sometimes that something going on is simply my day off and I’m not going to schedule anything onthat day.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tish08 wrote Mar 25, 2009
    • I am no good at it, but in the last year I have been trying also. When I do say no, I end up thinking about it all day and I end up apologizing or mentally justifying my answer. Sometimes I even do the dreaded, “reverse the “no“.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Mar 25, 2009
    • Tish08:  Girl....look in the mirror each day and practice saying “I’m sorry I can’t...I’m sorry I‘’m not able to....and no.”  

      As someone else said earlier....people might get a little piffed once in a while for a short time...but they soon forget.  As long as you are saying yes....they are asking.  

      NO more of that reverse“no” crap.  Girl....take CHARGE OF YOU!estatic




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Stephanie Lawrence wrote Mar 26, 2009
    • Yes it is hard for me to say no, especially to my wonderful neices and nephews




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