Don't have an account? To participate in discussions consider signing up or signing in
facebook connect
Sign-up, its free! Close [x]

Benefits

  • okay Create lasting relationships with other like minded women.
  • okay Blogging, let your voice be heard!
  • okay Interact with other women through blogs,questions and groups.
  • okay Photo Album, upload your most recent vacation pictures.
  • okay Contests, Free weekly prize drawing.
  • okay Weekly Newsletter.

Q & A

Have you ever experienced a time in your life where you just felt lonely, “stuck” & didn’t know what to do next to make everything better? How did you handle it?

  •  



Answer this See more Questions

View All Answers

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Myrna Perez wrote Mar 28, 2009
    • Yes, yes, yes!!!!  Felt so much better pursuing the things I love to do: (jewelry making, writing, business ventures, etc . . . ) Read books on investing. I felt very productive, plus it was challenging and fun.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Mar 28, 2009
    • Yes, so I looked at all the areas bite sized and sat down and made a list and started changing , organising little by little.

      Some times we are in a rut because we are overwhelmed so easier to work one area at a time and because we get busy things happen.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Mar 28, 2009
    • Yes!!!!! And little by little I made changes where I could. Of course this involved many hours with couch/LMN therapy before I could tackle even some of the smallest things.

      I always take the approach to clear the easy things 1st so I could have more time/space/focus on the bigger things. It’s always worked for me professionally and personally.

      You can do it Jen just breath often!

      Vikki
      You can do anything!

      Come chat with us!
      Chit Chat Club 

      What are you grateful for today?
      GratitudeDairy 

      Independent Stylist
      Vikki Hall- Stella & Dot Stylist 




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Mar 28, 2009
    • Right now.  I am still doing my soul searching.

      :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
      Alone I can do nothing, Together we + God can do all thing!




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 28, 2009
    • Thank you my friends!

      Vikki- LMN therapy- I’m quite familiar with that! The ‘term’ is cute. lol I’ve done alot of that since the layoff.  

      It’s as though I’ve landed now in a place where I can do anything I want- kids are grown, schedule is mine, I’m single & basically have no real reason to stay in this city (plus I don’t like it here anymore) so the sky’s the limit, really. My age throws me for a loop at times. Starting over at 42’s a TRIP! I guess now, I’m trying to decide which direction to head in.
      The lonlely part only hits occasionally -long nights sometimes. I get over it quickly though but sometimes it really does get old.
      I’m searching via monster.com for creative jobs/positions all over the place right now. Hopefully I find something really good ~

      Thanks! happy
      Breathing, breathing...




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Stephanie Lawrence wrote Mar 28, 2009
    • Jen, I have felt the same. I am an accountant and the company I worked for downsized so here I am at 41 sitting at home being a housewife. Lucky for my husband is very understanding and really wanted me to be at home anyway. And with me just sitting at home every day(we don’t have children) with nothing to do, of course I get bored. That’s when I forund this great group of online friends at Fab40 and now I feel a whole lot better about my situatuion. But as long as you have loving people to support your decisions and help you through the rough times, you’ll make. And there are plenty of great opportunities out there, just keep your head up.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Fraz764 wrote Mar 28, 2009
    • Jen, I’m there right now and I just pray that I am making the right decisions. It is very scary when you are over 40, I’m 44. The loneliness is horrile, but I think it is kind of what is needed right now so that I can stay focused.
      What I know for sure is that I could not have continued with things the way they were.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 28, 2009
    • Thank you. :)

      I think if I could figure out a fast way to get a different car, MANY things would be very different. That’s theone thing that stops me from doing so much. So depressing. If you all have any ideas for that, I’d love to hear them.

      Staying focused is important and I’m pretty good at it. There are obstacles in my way- it’s been frustrating because usually I can knock them right out of my way them keep moving. This time though, they’ve been pretty big, i.e., the car.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Mar 28, 2009
    • Jenz, what’s wrong with your car?

      :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
      Alone I can do nothing, Together we + God can do all thing!




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Mar 28, 2009
    • I hear a common thread - little steps. I agree. I’ve had periods of time of intense loneliness and isolation. Sometimes it’s overwhelming. Keeping a journal, reading inspirational quotes each morning and evening, and consciously doing one thing each and every day that gives my heart joy has helped me get the momentum I need sometimes.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Myrna Perez wrote Mar 28, 2009
    • It have felt that way many times.  As a matter of fact, I felt that way not too long ago.  This is how I handled it. I wrote a poem for all of you.  

      "Dedication:  Fab 40 members"'

      As I perused the web one day; I stumbled on an interesting site.
      A ladies social group, "Fabulously 40 and beyond";
      they appeared to be very tight.
      I knew this was my place to be;
      it was nice seeing them be so free.
      I knew I had to join their loving and compassionate group;
      I thought it would be fun to be part of the troop.
      I'm glad I did; there is no regret.
      There are so many interesting women that I've met.
      Yana is the founder and she is very kind;
      someone as nice as she; is very hard to find
      Here is my confession.
      Prior to joining; I was in a deep depression.
      But I feel so much better now;
      I could only say "wow"!
      What a difference my life has been;
      Now I'm stuck with a permanent grin!




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 28, 2009
    • You guys are awesome. :)

      It’s not a constant lonliness I have- just the norm- occasional looooong nights due to being single. That isn’t what’s getting to me so much. It’s the feeling super stuck- Since the layoff my routine consists of basically- whatever I want it to. It’s wierd. Sometimes it’s GREAT! But much of the time, it’s getting a bit scary. I have GOT to make a move to make more $ NOW or things are going to get really ugly.

      As for the question re the car- I need one.  

      I know I’m not alone going through these crazy times. It’s scarily, become quite common..

      I’m very thankful for the support & great friends. happy




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sue Allemand wrote Mar 30, 2009
    • Yes - I know how you feel!  What did I do?  Obsessed about it!  Til I figured out what I wanted to do next!  Sorry - but that’s the truth!  Is it just a sign of our age?  It seems like a lot of us are going through this!  Strong, smart women, kids grown (or pretty much taking care of themselves), whether you work or don’t work it seems the same....  and I know for me it was “OK - I did my job - I pretty much lived the first half of my life for EVERYONE else (the kids, the husband, the parents, etc.) - now it’s MY turn!!!  What do I want to do?  Is this all there is?  Stay living here, where I grew up, in the freezing upper Midwest (which I HATE!), get up, do some work, workout, eat along the way, take care of people, sleep - a hum drum life!  Stuck in a circle that so many are stuck in and are too afraid to venture out of!  

           And I just started answering the questions, taking NO ONE else into consideration but ME!  Not even my husband!  I know - to some that seems selfish - and it IS - but that’s all we really have is ourselves in the end!  I started thinking of all the things I had wanted to do or have in my life - and never did - and thinking about which of those things are NOT possible anymore (for one reason or another) and which ARE possible.  And the shape of my new direction started forming... and the dreams of it and the planning of it pushed me past that “stuck” stage - to a place where I’m truly excited about “what comes next“!  And where I‘M going!  Like you said on your profile Jen - “Life is an adventure!”  So this is the time, what have you got to lose? - GO where you’ve always wanted to GO, DO something you’ve always wanted to DO - the rest will work itself out!  It always does!  You’ll survive no matter what - and hopefully have fun and learn something more along the way!    Go for it!




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 30, 2009
    • ok suea- ya got me. It’s EXACTLY like that. And you‘re right regarding taking NO one else into consideration when asking yourself those very questions. You KNOW how people are in this area. No one’s particularly happy for you if you want to step out of the box & actually GO DO something cool or different. Sorry, but, the 9-5, eat, talk about people, sleep, get fat lifestyle is NOT for ME. I’m not angry & I hope that last statement didn’t sound all too bitchy, but DANG! I see this everywhere. And it’s always followed by complaining. It’s negative & I don’t like that around me.
      I just don’t let people like that in “my hula hoop” (haha) anymore.
      I DO want to leave. And I’m very close to being ready. I’ve been thinking about this for 2 years~ there was always a reason why I couldn’t go, or, I was scared to leave.
      Now, NOPE!
      I’m blasting my resume out of monster.com all over the place and creating a secondary one. Also, I’m talking to people who have done it, asking questions, keeping a relocation guide notebook.
      I’ve made plans to go to Seattle in May as well. I’m working on a solid plan for myself & honestly, I don’t give a RIP who doesn’t approve. If there’s anything negative to be said, I’m not hearing it.
      I’m adding these responses to my favorites. Very helpful!!
      Thank you.happy




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sue Allemand wrote Mar 30, 2009
    • EXACTLY Jen!  We ARE on the same wavelength!  They are NOT happy for you when you‘re doing something out of the norm!  “How dare you!”  That’s what they‘re thinking - and some are bold enough to say it!  They ask me - “What does your husband think about that?”  Like he owns me or something!  Or “it’s too expensive there, you don’t know anyone, you’ll be back!” Uh - no - I won’t!  And those comments just give me even more inspiration!  I think a lot of them are JEALOUS!  That’s it!  You go for it Jen!  Try lots of places til you find what you like!  I’ve been to Seattle and have friends near there - it’s very nice - has a pretty good job market, even now - although it rains A LOT!  hehe  Portland’s nice too.  Look me up if you ever get down to San Diego!  That’s where I’ll be!  I’m leaving June 15th!  (My daughter is coming with and going to attend college there.)  It’s exciting and scary all at once - and I can’t wait!  hehe  

           If you need any “pumping up” when these naysayers get you down - just message me!  And I’ll do the same!   :)




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 30, 2009
    • Excellent!

      you know, the rain doesn’t worry me in the slightest. I like it. Besides, it’s grey here 7 months out of the year & the trees are all bare so who cares? haha If I really need some sun, I’ll jump into a tanning bed. It works!Any info you could send me re Seattle would be very appreciated as well.  

      It drives me NUTS when I see someone automatically say something like, “Well what are you gonna do there? You should just stay here and....” or, “Why would you do that?”
      when someone’s trying to do something constructive & different. Hey- if people are comfortable doing what they do here, then kudos to them. Great! But I’m not, and I’ll never be. I’d regret it forever if I stayed. This place is as good as it’s ever going to get- I’ve got 40 yrs to back that statement up.
      Not that I need to. happy
      It’s a big world out there with so much more to see & do. I’d hate becoming a person who never even tried.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 30, 2009
    • And Cali will be awesome for you!! My neice lived in 29 Palms & adores it out there! estatic




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sue Allemand wrote Mar 30, 2009
    • That’s what I do here - go to the tanning salon!  hehe  I don’t mind rain - as long as it’s warm outside!  It’s this cold and snow I can’t stand!  And the... nothing to do but go to the movies, bowling or out to eat - all fat accumulating propositions!  hehe    

      I’ll see what I can find out about Seattle!  Have you checked out Craig’s List for jobs in the area?  You can get an idea about apartments and stuff on there too.  

      Oh - and I LOVE the “hula hoop” comment!  I’ll have to “steal” that one!  :)  Where did you go to high school?  I’m from Racine - went to Horlick - moved to Kenosha after high school (apparently I shoulda just kept going west!  hehe)




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 30, 2009
    • Park High School! estatic  omg- we have to hang out before one of us leaves! And we’ll have Jenni come too- she’s only 30 mins from here. I do believe another fab40 get-together is in order!




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sue Allemand wrote Mar 30, 2009
    • I’m trying to think if I knew anyone at Park!  Did you graduate in ‘84 or ‘85?  I remember going to a Toma (I think that was his name) seminar in the Park fieldhouse....  the guy that was an ex-druggy or something and went around talking to high school kids about drugs and jail!  hehe   And all the Horlick-Park rivalries - at the football games!  The black girls from Park were supposedly gonna cut all the hair off the blond girls from Horlick!  how silly it all seems now!




            Report  Reply


Ask a Question






mature content submit as anonymous