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anonymous Anonymous

Q & A

Is it okay to fantasize about other men if you are married/in a relationship? Is this cheating?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dana Arcuri wrote Oct 11, 2008
    • Yes, Jesus‘girl is correct and the bible says that are lustful thoughts are equal to doing the real thing!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Chrissyandcoco wrote Oct 11, 2008
    • The word of God is very black and white. We as humans try to gray it all out.  The bible makes the word very clear when we study it.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Fabulousfefe wrote Oct 12, 2008
    • I am married and have never done it. But I know my husband has. He has cheated also. To even things out, I would say go ahead and fantasize. Men do it all the time! Yes I believe in the bible but as I get older, I also believe that women need to have some lustful thoughts also. Why do we always have to be the “GOOD” ones.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dianne67 wrote Oct 12, 2008
    • Fantasies are fantasies.  I think a relationship could get pretty stale sexually if we didn’t spice things up.    

      I am focused on my boyfriend; but I don’t see the big deal if someone needs to think creative.  

      I believe the Bible has a lot to do with interpertation and was written at such a different time that it is impossible to compare life today to it.  I do believe in a God.  However, I do believe that the Bible tends to be more of a story written by a man.  It is also very subjective.

      I hope I do not offend anyone.  I am a believer in to each his own as long as they do not hurt others.  I repect all religions and customs.

      My boyfriend is Jewish, so for him Jesus does not play a role in his religious belief.  I respect that and we live our lives celebrating both holidays with repect to one another.

      Hugs-
      Dianne




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Chrissyandcoco wrote Oct 12, 2008
    • Do you feel guilty if you have a fantasy? Try to think about the times when your man has been the most sexy turn on.  His smile, the way he smells (buy him a scent to wear that you just want to dive into) his hands, his bare behind or whatever it is that gets you going with your man. FOCUS,FOCUS FOCUS. Do not say that out loud if you are Spanish! My sons teacher did that and the class rolled! Excuse me....
      You know God talks to our soul, heart and SPIRIT.  I think we can control our minds to some degree.  If we stay busy with God’s work, (using the God given gifts and talents that we each have), he stops an idle mind and the destruction of our thoughts. I do not believe any of us can make these changes without God’s help but he gives us free will, he impresses us to change but never forces us. We are free to do as we please...just watch out for the repercussions!  Have you ever been so focused on something that you enjoy doing so much that time just flies? (I believe that happens when God is working through me)I have never had a drug problem but the natural feeling that I have when I get into the ZONE has to be better than any drug. You could do it and hardly stop to eat? NO I’m not talking about sex but it could be.... Well, call me crazy but when I paint or do any craft, or work in our flower garden, pick shells up off the shore, laugh with my friends, help someone, work on any important project alone or with others and the list goes on and on...  Sure...we are all going to have an OOPS...think bad thoughts but I would hope that as you/we grow spiritually, those would be less frequent. I would hope that we/you would be more productive in thinking.    

       I respect and find all religions interesting. And I and all of our children have study different religions. But I find that being a Christian is the most rewarding to me because of the eternal life God offers through his son Jesus.  And I do not want to preach but I know where I have been and I can shutter, sputter and quake at myself.  I am no longer a person that worries, I stay busy, I am happy and blessed and certainly not worthy of any of the blessing I have.  And I’m not perfect...I SIN too. But I am forgiven. Thank God for the invitation to an eternal life through GRACE (not earned by doing good things or being the perfect person) that promises things more wonderful than any of us can imagine. I certainly do not deserve his goodness but he says to all of us that he loves us unconditionally no matter what our past involves. So even though the not so good thoughts are there, he wants them to go away and he will help you find something better for you to think about. Something good for you to do to stay busy with a gift or talent that you have.  Really sex is such a small part of who we are and what we mean to this big ole' world.  Believe me sex is WONDERFUL (I won't go there!) and because I've been with the same man for twenty five years plus 3 yrs dating, I know what you are going through. Sometimes it’s not fair and it seems like HELL on earth, God never promised it would be easy.  This life is so short though. If I did not believe in God’s plan and found out when Jesus returns that he really DOES exist, look at all I would have lost. That is a loss I’m not willing to gamble on. As for time and translation in the Bible, God's word transcends time and understanding.  If you truly study God's WORD...I promise you...he will REVEAL to you his love and answers to your questions. You will just know. I'm living proof. Well now I’ve done it.........

      Love (AGAPE) to you all and pleasant thoughts ;)
      Oh behave :0
      Gayle




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Fabulousfefe wrote Oct 12, 2008
    • OK Jackie65 you are right. I had to get that off my chest. (LOL) I am back to doing the right thing.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lizajounes wrote Oct 12, 2008
    • YES! It is cheating. You can not have your cake and eat it to. Sorry:)




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Oct 12, 2008
    • Does anyone on this blog have crushes-Leo, George, Jonas Bros, Edward Cullen? What makes a crush different than a fantasy? Is it OK to have a crush on a celeb? If so, why is a crush OK, but not a fantasy? I seriously want to know, because I have NEVER heard this line of thinking. I never even knew it was an issue. What about when you dream of other people?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Chrissyandcoco wrote Oct 12, 2008
    • I think that without knowing but assuming...And you know what happens when you ass...u...me? Shoot!I need to get out of the gutter. I bet she was talking about fantasizing her men cooking,cleaning and weeded the garden while eating CHOCOLATE! No harm there. Now that is my fantasy.  Come on girls. I dare not write anymore...I get to windy.
      Love ya’ll,
      Gayle




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lizajounes wrote Nov 16, 2008
    • All you can do is pray.I will pray for you but you will need more then any one can do for you.You can beat this need,I know you can.God Bless you.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Chrissyandcoco wrote Nov 16, 2008
    • To Anonymous:  I feel your pain and I will pray for you too.  I’m sorry that you have suffered.  I see that you have been convicted because you have confessed it as sin.  Now you need to make the changes. That’s not always hard once your heart/soul is ready and prepared.  No one else can do that for you and if your heart/soul is not ready it is impossible to change. Anyone that has suffered through ANY sin that repeats itself can relate.  It is like an addiction and addictions are awful!  But when you pray for change it will happen when you call on the Holy Spirit.  My hope is that we will meet someday :)
      God Bless and lots of love and hope for you,
      Gayle




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Dec 2, 2008
    • Anonymous, I feel for you.  I’ve been down a very similar path.  My first was very neglectful and verbally abusive.  Situations like that can lead to fantasies pretty easily and I cheated on him.  Eventually we divorced and I married one of the men I had cheated with.  We are very happy together, indeed the grass was greener over the fence, but because of health issues we have no sex life.  In this situation, it’s very hard not to fantasize, and I’ll admit I have done that a lot lately.  BUT, I’ve learned my lesson from the past, and while a stray fantasy may slip into my head when I’m not guarding against it, you better believe I know better than to act on it.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dana Arcuri wrote Dec 2, 2008
    • Ladies, just remember, the devil does know EXACTLY where all of our weaknesses are, including mine.  What may first begin as an innocent thought or fantasy, eventually turns into an actual full blown affair.  I admit that it can become challenging as a Christian of faith to not give in to letting my mind stray.  Yet, God calls each one of us to take responsibility for all of our thoughts.  I recommend the book called “THE BATTLEFIELD OF THE MIND” by Joyce Myers.  This book truly addresses this very subject about our thoughts, our  fantasies and not allowing the Devil to have a foothole in our minds.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Nita P wrote Jan 25, 2012
    • i have a fantasy about a particular man who is not my husband.  but i am fortunate to say my husband has consented to me having a friend and the possibility of my intimacy with him.




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