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anonymous Anonymous

Q & A

My parents, both 70+, Mom has Parkinson’s & Dad has Myasthenia Gravis.  Neither are ready to move into assisted care but need assistance with daily living. Facing the possibility of having to move in with them, but torn over losing my own independence (& hubby).  Any feedback &/or suggestions?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kathryn Krastin wrote Apr 11, 2009
    • Not sure where you live, but programs with care for the elderly are in most communities.  I’d suggest you look into the possibility of hiring someone to stay with them during different portions of the day.  It’d probably be much cheaper than putting them into an assisted living facility and you have some degree of peace of mind. :)




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Apr 11, 2009
    • Is it possible to hire a hospice nursing service to come into their home so they can stay home? Or for you to just go there alot without having to move in? Just ideas. I wish you luck!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Apr 11, 2009
    • There are many options out there as already mentioned.  There are many levels of assisted living facilities out there.  Many where they can have their own apartment, yet help is available if needed.  You might look into someplace like that.  Take them for a tour of these kind of places.  When they see how nice they are, they may change their minds about being ready.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda Hendricks wrote Apr 11, 2009
    • Unfortunately ... hospice is for people near death... I agree.. explore some care agencies... also check their medicare benefits... medicare does provide some home care which includes custodial care that insurance companies rarely provide... my mother-in-law had them ... they did dishes... they did wash.... a tremendous help... altho the coverage is limited

      As for moving in with them and ruining your personal life with hubby.... I don’t agree with that... you can’t destroy your life for them...  

      Not sure where your located but my father is on the board of a facility... so I’m familiar with what’s out there... there are many with different levels of care... some are like little apartments... but the facility provides laundry, food and cleaning services... some also contain little kitchens so they can do some themselves... if one or the other becomes ill... it sometimes means just a move to another building... so the healthy one can just walk over to spend time with them.... it is a far better option than destroying your life.

      Private message me and perhaps I can get you a listing in your area...  

      Good luck and my prayers are with you.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Victoria Bryant wrote Apr 12, 2009
    • I helped my mother with my daddy when he was sick and then he died. After he died I realized that something was wrong with Mother. She has Alzheimer’s. I have 4 brothers and 1 sister and I was the only who took care of my mother. I did it for 1 year until her behavior became so dangerous that I had to put her in a home.
      I’m a single working mom with three kids and I was still seeing her everyday, even though she’s 30 min. away.

       I don’t do that anymore. I know she’s safe and she doesn’t know anything anymore.
      I’ve gone through a lot emotionally and when I see her I feel like I could just die. I love her so much and I can’t make her better.

       I think in order to honor our parents we must do what’s best for them. Make sure they have the proper care and are safe. But I don’t think we should have to sacrifice our lives to care for them. You would be also sacrificing your marriage.
      You can go to a health service in your city and they can give you all the information you need.I wish you the best. Iknow that this can be a terrible time in a person’s life.
      Be strong.And may God bless you and your parents.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Apr 19, 2009
    • I don’t think your parents would want you to ruin your marriage for them.  It looks like you’ve gotten some good suggestions.  Most of my parents’ friends did go to assisted living facilities when they started getting serious health issues and it worked out well for them.  Wishing you the best.




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